I think i'm socially inept

[diceman]

Hello everyone.
I don't know whats with me. I can start convo's no problem, but after the fluff talk & basic questions, i just kinda run out of things to say.

Like, for example, i was talking to a girl a while ago and i was basically teaching her to play poker & being a fun guy.

Then, i saw her in a club weeks later & she waved at me, all smiles, and i was gonna go over to her, but i couldn't think of a single thing to say to her.

So, i just left it & had a good time with my friends, and i know i was stupid, but i was scared i'd run dry with the conversation.

I mean, when i see people i know in a club, it usually goes...

Me: "Hello"
Her: "Hi ya!"
Me: "how are you?"
Her: "Alright"
Me: "you havin' a good night?"
Her: "Yeah, it's pretty good"
Me: "......?"

What the hell can i do?

 

[soontobesuave]

ask open ended questions instead of interviewing her

what u been upto? any reply to that can lead to endless convos unless she says not much or nothing. then you can tell her she's boring get the neg in and off you go...

 

[Shiftkey]

You're not socially inept, you just haven't developed your conversational skills to their potential. It's something that takes practise and some balls to master. Just keep trying and you'll get it.

 

[JJMcLure]

Quit playing sh1t out in your head before you do it. It builds anxiety. Just ACT.

What you'll find is that people actually WANT to talk to you. Think of it like this, you just have to start the conversation (with ANY opener). And from there they can take it and run with it. Chicks LOVE talking (especially about themselves). You don't have to plan a conversation out.

One of my favorite things is just to use whatever wacky opener I can think of - all it is a way to get an interaction started (did you know Mystery sometimes gives the bird as an opener?). Because I KNOW that once I've opened, it is downhill from there. I think of it like this, the chick is waiting for an invitation to interact with me. My opener is that invitation.

Use the 3 second rule, this will help you. Practice it.

 

[diceman]

It's not the approach thats a problem, but the actual conversation. I can say hello, but thinking of something to talk about is a real problem. I've approached before & i ALWAYS run out of things to say very quickly.

Is there any hope for me?

 

[The Juan and only]

Yes there is hope, you just need practice that's all.

and I agree with JJMcLure, don't rehearse conversations or try to plan everything in your head. Its generally not a good idea.

However, I do have some advice that might help: if you run out of things to say, simply shut up, smile and look at her as though you expect her to say something - that takes the pressure off you and puts it on her. 99% of the time she will think of something to talk about or she will excuse her self (and perhaps come back later).

Its true that there may be a period of silence, and you need to be confortable with that. She will only be anxious if you are...actually silence can be a good thing...if you do it right it can make you seem more confident and mysterious

you need to be nonchalant about these things - you don't have anything to prove to her. In fact she would be lucky to go out with you a don juan like you