"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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I think I'm falling for her again...

Gaffspan

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Hi,

I'm on dangerous ground. J is a girl I grew up with in high school. We had loads in common, and got on famously. I guess the attraction was inevitable. She found out through someone else (NOT the way I wanted it to go), and the attraction wasn't returned. I was rejected for the first time. Worse still, it damaged our friendship- we hardly spoke for a year.

It turns out that distancing ourselves was the best thing we could do (I didn't make the mistake of 'chasing' her). More recently, we've started talking again, going out (as friends). Basically picking up where we left off and making up for lost time.

I was out with her the other night, and her beauty, intelligence and humor struck me again all at once. Hard.

She has a boyfriend now, so I've little hope. It would be foolish to try again. Yet it's tearing me up inside.

What shall I do?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Faded Image

Senior Don Juan
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Stay away man. I've been there before and regardless of how much my game improved, she still saw me as the same person I was before.
 
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Stay AWAY!!! FAAARRR AWAY!!

Maybe in the future after you get all your **** together and basically improve yourself and your game you will probably be a new person. If you happen to bum into her later, bang her.

Then maybe keep her if things aren't still weird.


Your chances now of actually getting her are SO SLIM, that even if you do get her you will **** it up and not be able to keep her.


But hey, it's your choice. Don't believe me? Then go after her and then after you **** it up, you will remember this experience for future reference never to do it again.
 

Tomatoes

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Keep away from that **** like the plague. Avoid her. If she has a problem with it. Let her know why and she will leave you alone.


The only thing down that route is heart break. I see many men go down it. Befriending the girl they fancy and living that girls shadow until they realise what they are doing.
 

Gaffspan

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Thanks for the advice guys. I can tell this place is going to be VERY useful :)

Staying away will be hard. We're such close friends and have so many things in common. But maybe it'll be for the best.

Maybe I should just persue my promising relationship with a girl from a while back. She's an utter psycho but in a good way :D

About getting my game together. One day I looked in the mirror and just thought wtf... how have I let myself get away with this for so long? I know it's not about looks, but I've changed my image and feel so much more confident. And it shows. Longer hair, glasses that DON'T make me look nerdy... and I'm rambling.

Thanks!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Maximus Rex

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I'm going to tell you the same thing I just told someobdy else.

Why are you bothering with a girl with a boyfriend? Is it because there's ABSOLUTELY NO SINGLE WOMEN IN YOUR AREA??? Instead of bothering with a chick that's having relationship problems. Why don't you devote your time to women WITHOUT RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS!!! Namely SINGLE AVAILABLE WOMEN THAT CAN HANG OUT!!!

Concerning this chick that her name. WHEN YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE GOING ON, she if see's available. If so, that her to the bar, get few drinks in her and try to smash. If you don't smash, give her your number. If she wants to kick it, she'll call. If not eff it.

You guys kill with this incessant pursuit of women in relationships. I really don't see what's so hard about hollering at chicks that don't have boyfriends, husbands, or kids.
 
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