"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I think I'm falling for her again...

Gaffspan

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Hi,

I'm on dangerous ground. J is a girl I grew up with in high school. We had loads in common, and got on famously. I guess the attraction was inevitable. She found out through someone else (NOT the way I wanted it to go), and the attraction wasn't returned. I was rejected for the first time. Worse still, it damaged our friendship- we hardly spoke for a year.

It turns out that distancing ourselves was the best thing we could do (I didn't make the mistake of 'chasing' her). More recently, we've started talking again, going out (as friends). Basically picking up where we left off and making up for lost time.

I was out with her the other night, and her beauty, intelligence and humor struck me again all at once. Hard.

She has a boyfriend now, so I've little hope. It would be foolish to try again. Yet it's tearing me up inside.

What shall I do?
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Faded Image

Senior Don Juan
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Stay away man. I've been there before and regardless of how much my game improved, she still saw me as the same person I was before.
 
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Stay AWAY!!! FAAARRR AWAY!!

Maybe in the future after you get all your **** together and basically improve yourself and your game you will probably be a new person. If you happen to bum into her later, bang her.

Then maybe keep her if things aren't still weird.


Your chances now of actually getting her are SO SLIM, that even if you do get her you will **** it up and not be able to keep her.


But hey, it's your choice. Don't believe me? Then go after her and then after you **** it up, you will remember this experience for future reference never to do it again.
 

Tomatoes

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Keep away from that **** like the plague. Avoid her. If she has a problem with it. Let her know why and she will leave you alone.


The only thing down that route is heart break. I see many men go down it. Befriending the girl they fancy and living that girls shadow until they realise what they are doing.
 

Gaffspan

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Thanks for the advice guys. I can tell this place is going to be VERY useful :)

Staying away will be hard. We're such close friends and have so many things in common. But maybe it'll be for the best.

Maybe I should just persue my promising relationship with a girl from a while back. She's an utter psycho but in a good way :D

About getting my game together. One day I looked in the mirror and just thought wtf... how have I let myself get away with this for so long? I know it's not about looks, but I've changed my image and feel so much more confident. And it shows. Longer hair, glasses that DON'T make me look nerdy... and I'm rambling.

Thanks!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Maximus Rex

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I'm going to tell you the same thing I just told someobdy else.

Why are you bothering with a girl with a boyfriend? Is it because there's ABSOLUTELY NO SINGLE WOMEN IN YOUR AREA??? Instead of bothering with a chick that's having relationship problems. Why don't you devote your time to women WITHOUT RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS!!! Namely SINGLE AVAILABLE WOMEN THAT CAN HANG OUT!!!

Concerning this chick that her name. WHEN YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE GOING ON, she if see's available. If so, that her to the bar, get few drinks in her and try to smash. If you don't smash, give her your number. If she wants to kick it, she'll call. If not eff it.

You guys kill with this incessant pursuit of women in relationships. I really don't see what's so hard about hollering at chicks that don't have boyfriends, husbands, or kids.
 
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