i think i messed up, advice please :/

[Jair213]

I am 25, shes 21. I am barely starting college this year, and got fired from my job like a month ago, idk if she knows that I dont have a job though she does know im starting college this year though. she has being studying Bio Chem for 3 years in University, she is an easy in between 8 or 9, beautiful girl.

Anywho, I met this chick through my cousin at one of my familys reunions. We talked, it was cool, got her number. I texted her for 2 weeks straight till I took her out this past friday, but I think i texted her way too much every day, all the stuff were texting was supose to be talked about in the first date, we talked about each other etc. Not only that but I sent her romantic songs that you dance too cuz I knew she liked to dance, it was for no dedication purposes, maybe i shouldnt have done that too? and btw i think i gave her way too much attention, and talking through texts all day for 2 weeks straight before we had our first date, etc. damnit...

Anywho, we met at the beach, we hanged out, it was cool, we talked, but we found ourselfs talking about the same things we texted about already, not much though only a few things, either way conversation and verbal communication was really good, made her laugh a lot, etc. Date ended alright, but i notice she seemed distracted at times like not in the ''zone'' it wasnt an awkward bive just a bit weird. Next day, my cousin told me that she didnt feel a connection, or felt the connection, so i didnt text her the whole day, till she texted me, her saying ''hey watt are you doing?'' i didnt reply till the next day saying ''oh hey i was sleeping i got home really late cuz i got invited to a bar a couple of hours after our date'' she didnt reply to me 3 days later witch was yesterday at 10:30 PM at night with her saying ''hey how are you?'' I havent replied.

Should I not be rude and replied? How can I handle this?

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

Wow I think you fuked up.. sent her romantic songs? Texted her everyday? There's your answer pal. I think she friendzoned you before you even met at the beach. Just say something like "Great. I'm going to this <bar/place> on Sat night. Come by and say hi." You can pick her up or meet her there. Depends how she answers. If she rejects that, you're finished. Move on if she does. But honestly, I think you already fuked it up.

 

[Jair213]

I did ****ed tup. Oh well. Next time I wont do the same mistake. :/ But I don't even feel like texting her back anymore or even, talking to her. Or even asking her out on a date anymore because of all of this.

Although, I feel that I've learned something through this.

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

Well next time don't text the girl too much man. Try make texting a way of setting your date not a chatting client. Keep all the chatting for when you meet. So you have stuff to talk about. Arrange dates through text man. Or call even. And do NOT send romantic songs lol.

Get number > wait couple days > set a date > go on the date > make your move.

 

[Jair213]

Okay cool. But watt do I do now? Do I still keep talking to her since she's texting me?

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Keep texting to a minimal and to the point. If I were you I would just go for broke. Meaning try to get her to the crib as soon as possible. If she is not receptive she just loves the attention and she needs to be charged.

 

[Young Stallion]

You screwed yourself royally, plus I am a believer that a persons personality shows in their writing an you do not write like a very dominant guy. More like a submissive friend.

Man up, be a man is your solution for future interactions with women.

As for this interaction, your done. Step back, way back any more effort on your part will put you in romantic yet creepy zone which scares girls off and is only one stage away from being unwarrantly branded a stalker. Sounds crazy, but it is true.

 

[Jair213]

The text she sent me yesterday, I replied too it like an hour ago, then she replied like 2 minutes later. should I text her back like in 2 days or tommorrow? I don't understand why she replied so quick wen it took me more than a day to reply.

Or should I just leave it alone? :/

 

[Jair213]

Okay young, ill keep that in mind.

 

[Single4Life]

Move on.

When you meet a girl that really likes you, she will appreciate you and love to have conversations with you about anything.

There will be no stupid mind games, no friend zoning.

Just move on until the love comes naturally between you and a girl, and you don't have to worry about all these stupid rules..... then you know you have love and the right girl for you.

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

Invite her out again for the weekend. Thursday night ask her. Like I said in one of my previous posts. The goal is to get her out, stop chatting to her. The texting will just keep going on and on and she'll get bored of you. Set the fuking date up and stop texting after that. "Good, I'll see you then." that's it. Not "Hey what you doin today?" "How was your day?" "Yeah, that tv show was funny." Cut that crap man.

I've been there before.. all that texting sh!t gets you no where. Sure, a few short funny ****y flirty texts is okay but at the end make sure you're asking to catch up. I would always text girls for days, all night, thinking I'm hot stuff and they want me bad. Then later after a few days or more I finally ask them out and they say straight up no. Never spoke again after that. They just use you when they're bored man. Attention. That's why you gotta cut back on the texting and try see them in person. Looking the girl in the eye is where it all happens, not on texting.

 

[AlphaNate]

Drop this one. But most importantly, LEARN from it.

C&B BABY! :woo:

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Quit over analyzing it and take my advice. You're thinking way too hard on this girl. Go for broke. Nothing to lose.

 

[coochieman]

She feels "no connection". Then, screw it.
Your texting frequency was appalling. Truth be told, when I feel like I've messed things up with a girl, I just try to practice all the bullsh*t I've learnt elsewhere.
She becomes sort of a "guinea pig-girl" for crazy seduction experiments and mind games I've been itching to try out..... I'm happy you don't feel any unnecessary emotional bonds, so either way these experiments go, you have absolutely nothing to lose.
I suggest adopting the "let's just have fun" mindset and put her under a "50 day friendship" period now.
If there's no real progress afta 50 days, completely next her.
The world is our playground.

 

[Jair213]

I think I ****ed tup even more wen I wen I told my cousin(witch is her room mate in college) that I really liked her the next day after the date, but I told her not to tell her anything though. Hopefully she didnt.

Crap. I don't want to seem all beta male, etc. Lol
I shoulda just kept my mouth shut.

 

[Jariel]

I have a different perspective to most on this post as I've gone through this kind of thing before. I don't think you blew it with the texting. As long as she's reciprocating and replying with high interest to your texts, it's all cool. Even the songs.

The problem seems to be that she may have built you up to be something you can't live upto. You built this great connection via text, you were relaxed and even confident enough to send her songs. I'd say she felt really positive about you that whole time, probably even a little infatuated if I'm going on my own experiences with texting women. But when you met in person, things didn't flow as seamlessly as they had been via text, you may have come across a little awkward or just not as confident as she was used to seeing you. Texting and emailing gives people that extra confidence and it's hard to live upto that in person.

I admit, I text girls quite a lot. With some women it works great, we just meet up and refer to our texts and resume chatting like we've known each other ages. I'm just as confident in person as I have been in text messages and so the attraction is still really high. In many cases, if I've laid some sexual groundwork via text, I can pick up on that and run with it.

However, there are times when my dates turn out exactly like yours and you feel like you have nothing to talk about and it feels strained. That said, I think even if you never texted this girl, you would reach this point after a few dates. It's just down to a lack of chemistry. And that's probably what she meant when she said there was "no connection".

I'm guessing you both want to re-establish that connection you had via text, but don't know how. What's worse is that you've both reverted to playing cool to try and save face.

My advice would be to reply to this girl as normal, text about interesting stuff, ask her questions and see how she responds. Don't mention dating her or ask how she feels or if she wants to see you again until you have reconnected. In the meanwhile, if she gets distant or stops responding, it's time to give up and move on.