I think i may have some ****y and funny stuff

[alphamale1]

Hey

i think i might understand it now so i built up a list
here goes

1.

Her: (she touches some cheap as object in my car)
Me: Dont break it, it costs alot, i would have to rob a bank again to buy another.

2.

Her: (doesnt look at me)
Me: you afraid you might like it

3.

Her: you dork
Me: you little brat.

4.

Her: why do some guys dance like they have something up their ass?
Me: well i am betta at dancing than most men and its because i always go to the toilet and have a **** before i hit the dancefloor.

5.

Her: im drinking water tonite
Me: Im drinking and your catching a taxi home wid me tonite cos u been drinking too much colour free alcohol.

6.

Her: Excuse me, can i borrow your pen?
Me: You sure can, here let me show you how many really hot and fine woman have demonstrated to me how they hold their pens.

7.

Her: We had a boring dinner
Me: Thats what happens when u date a boring man.
Me: I know what you want, i have met many beautiful woman, many woman and they say to me 'WOW!'
Her: why they say wow
Me: Try and find me lil brat if you can

8.

Me: A woman who buys a man a drink completes his day
Me: A woman who takes mens drinks think they're all gay
Me: A MAN who drinks a woman's drink is cool
Me: A AlphaMAle like me knows what ur going to do next
Her: what?
Me: no cheating..

9.

Her: you are really ****y
Me: yes, not its true, my name is Rocky
Her: no i said ****y
Me: (have that yeah she digs me look with a smile)
Me: You trying to get me in your and be rocky with ****y?
Me: Ok, buy me one more beer my beautiful princess.

Need comments guys

 

[alphamale1]

Her: We had a boring dinner
Me: Thats what happens when u date a boring man.
Me: I know what you want, i have met many beautiful woman, many woman and they say to me 'WOW!'
Her: why they say wow
Me: Try and find me lil brat if you can
Me: (walk away)

even though she doesnt walk away, u set the challenge, and i guess if she doesnt, she's no fun.

thats my comment on that one

Ben

 

[alphamale1]

I mean even though she doesnt follow u

 

[alphamale1]

Maybe it should be

Her: im drinking water tonite
Me: how many glasses of water have u had?
Me: Im drinking and your catching a taxi home wid me tonite cos u been drinking too much colour free alcohol.

 

[alphamale1]

and of course as you may have guess

this one was 'shyt' and not '****'

Her: why do some guys dance like they have something up their ass?
Me: well i am betta at dancing than most men and its because i always go to the toilet and have a shyt before i hit the dancefloor.

 

[MetalFortress]

Uhh

C+F should be thought of on the spot, not pre programmed lines.

 

[alphamale1]

Yes i know the metalfortress but are they ****y and funny?

are my examples ****y and funny?

Ben

 

[Jariel]

Well, those lines sure are funny. In fact, I was laughing my ass off reading them and imagining how a woman might react. Unfortunately I was laughing for the wrong reasons.

Here are some posts which will help clarify things, and there are some examples there too:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=55172
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=62068
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=20860

 

[McKindley]

Most of those were incoherent. You should learn English word order.

"Me: yes, not its true, my name is Rocky"

See, some of those sentences don't make sense.

Why do people think calling a girl a "lil brat" is a good idea? Do you think she'll say "oooh, he just insulted me for no good reason, I totally want his weiner now!"

Remember, being funny isn't a forced thing. Either you have it, or you don't. If you don't its no big deal. Being interesting is just as good as being funny.

Her: Excuse me, can i borrow your pen?
Me: You sure can, here let me show you how many really hot and fine woman have demonstrated to me how they hold their pens.

I don't see how this is supposed to be funny. It doesn't even make sense. You don't have to think of a witty thing to say every time a girl asks you a simple question.

Really, how would a girl react to a guy saying something like that? All she wants is a pen.

 

[alphamale1]

Thanks McKindley

I will learn my word order properly and revised my words

David Deangelo calls woman a lil brat
ya know u say 'your like my lil bratty sister' if she tries to bust on u.

Ive tried it at the clubs and i think some woman were amazed or rather stunned by my ability to say that showing that i speak my mind.

You still havent answered the question though.
Are they ****Y and FUNNY?
U have said they r funny but are they also ****y?

Ben

 

[McKindley]

Well, here's the thing; when a sentence is incoherent its pretty hard for it to be ****y and funny.

The whole "lil brat" thing. I personally don't think this is a great idea for most guys. David D probably has a different style than most guys. There's plenty of things I personally say to people that I would never suggest most guys use, because it wouldn't fit their style.

Her: why do some guys dance like they have something up their ass?
Me: well i am betta at dancing than most men and its because i always go to the toilet and have a shyt before i hit the dancefloor.

Things like that, they aren't ****y or funny. Its just gross. How about

Her: why do some guys dance like they have something up their ass?
You: I'm not sure I understand, point one out for me (and she does) I don't know, lets ask him. (start walking over there)

Chances are this will get her red in the face. Which is fun. The thing everyone needs to know about dealing with girls is its supposed to be fun. Be playful.

 

[NINJA PIMP]

HER: Do you have a girlfriend?

DJ: Just once before of course...not bratty little sister wawawa...poopies. Do you not think smelling the whiskers of mouse balls in the windfall of boggedie-boo??

 

[smoke city]

Ninja pimp--now that's just retarded.

Originally posted by McKindley

Her: why do some guys dance like they have something up their ass?
You: I'm not sure I understand, point one out for me (and she does) I don't know, lets ask him. (start walking over there)

alpha--none of your examples was funny.
McKindley has the right idea. Have fun and say and do impulsive things that she's too "proper" to say/do. Using strangers as props is a good one. One of my faves is to give directions in/to places I've never been/heard of...or to ask random people bizarre/embarassing questions. The point is to have a good time and be *totally not self-conscious.
I find the "****y" thing doesn't work for me. Unless you have that sort of sense of humor, it seems contrived. But there are elements that you can adapt...just say anything unexpected...and maybe a little (unintentionally!) mean.
for example, to a really hot woman

You: "Do you know who you remind me of right now?"
Her (expecting Julia roberts or some crap): "who?"
You: "Lumberg, from Office Space." (totally straight face).

If she's seen the movie, and you said it in the right way, guaranteed slug in the arm. which gets the ball rolling.
**if you haven't seen that movie. rent it. now.**

Me: I know what you want, i have met many beautiful woman, many woman and they say to me 'WOW!

Here you're trying too hard...obviously trying to convince her of something. Most of your examples are forced...if you're thinking about c&f lines before hand, you'll just spend the whole conversation setting them up. which is no fun.
the point is the *perspective. I make a point of saying or doing most anything that comes to mind---the more imagination and humor I can show the better. Watch some standup comedy--you can safely steal some of their "have you ever wondered...." type lines, and then build yr own material from there.

 

[alphamale1]

To McKindley,

Can u rearrange it so that it does make sense?
Then would it be ****y and funny?

Ben

 

[smoke city]

dude, I think you're still not getting the point.
Go back to those links Jariel put up there. Those posts
explain it better than any of us here.

By the way, you should DEFINITELY modify David Deangelo's stuff according to situation. The kind of woman he calls a brat is the crazy hot Miami/L.A. supermodel who rides around in Ferraris and pouts and whines to get what she wants (your credit card). This woman IS a brat, and she really knows it....If you call the cute, well-adjusted girl next door in your math class a brat, it doesn't make sense and she'll just hate you. Relate to each person in a way that makes sense...the C&F is more of a style/attitude than anything else.

 

[Gonzalo]

Originally posted by alphamale1
Her: you are really ****y
Me: yes, not its true, my name is Rocky
Her: no i said ****y
Me: (have that yeah she digs me look with a smile)
Me: You trying to get me in your and be rocky with ****y?
Me: Ok, buy me one more beer my beautiful princess.

This one made me laugh, just cause I pictured Rocky Balboa trying to come up with ****y and funny...