"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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I think I just got played!

the_stig

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I dated this girl for four months. It was going well, and she even told me about a month ago I was the closest she's ever been to a guy. It ended Monday rather suddenly when she told me that it "just felt like friends" and didn't know if we had that thing for a relationship. Said it wasn't anything I did, another guy, etc. I played it cool and took it all in stride. The day after the break up, she added a guy to her faceook and I knew that was a red flag instantly. Now 5 days later they're in a relationship. She must have been seeing him behind my back if it was that quick.

I've never really gotten "played" in this sense and was pissed, but I've calmed down now. Based on her personality, she didn't come off as a player at all. Don't know how I didn't see that unfolding. My only cue was that in the last week or two I noticed she was gone a lot more to hang out with "friends" but didn't think anything of it.

What would be my best reaction? I'm not going to confront her about it, but rather just delete her and all her photos off my facebook and move on with no contact. How have you guys handled these situations?
 
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"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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PapiChulo

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You did get played - how does it feel? Pretty bad, eh. Typical branch swinging, she probably had it on like 2 months into seeing you.

Dont do anything too crazy right a way. It may come off as bitter, hurt, etc. Cool down first and go after other women, make sure she sees you in their companion and refuse to be her friend.

But honestly I dont see how you would take her back if she decides to return to you.
 

Diaforetikos

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Do not, I repeat, do not get hung up on this one girl. If she is low enough to lie to your face, and then date someone immediately after breaking up with you, she isn't worth the shoes she wears.

Take time to cool off. Don't do anything until you can honestly say that it doesn't matter anymore. Learn from this and move on to the next girl. The next girl will be one of many, so don't worry about it.

And remove that trash from your life. She deserves no place in it. Tough luck mate.
 

JustLurk

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I don't know.. Posts above me says she is ****ed up for playing him, yet isn't DJ forum advice to spin plates if you have problems with a girl?

Isn't what this girl player doing spinning plates and dropping one, just without telling all the plates about the other ones, which this site almost encourages?
 

Diaforetikos

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The purpose of spinning plates is so you don't get hurt and so you have options.

She lied to him. No need to be dishonest about breaking up with him. Huge loss of value in my book. And if your gonna spin plates, be honest with the women your with. Tell them you are only interested in an open relationship. If they don't like it, then they can go.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Weezy

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Sorry man. Best to disappear. Out of curiosity. Where you guys effing and did you guys ever talk about relationship status?
 

Weezy

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P.s.

Just move on. Any action you take will make you look hurt. I walked away from a 3 yr relationship and never looked back. Was the best move I could made. Fastest way to heal.
 

the_stig

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We'd been getting it on for months and it was clear we were in a relationship. Probably why she didn't facebook this guy until she changed it to "single".

No desire to talk to her again and I definitely don't want her to think i'm hurt, because i'm not and have new prospects. So should I leave her on my facebook like I don't give a damn, or unfriend her and delete/untag all her pictures? What's the best move?
 
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DonJuan11

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the_stig said:
I dated this girl for four months. It was going well, and she even told me about a month ago I was the closest she's ever been to a guy. It ended Monday rather suddenly when she told me that it "just felt like friends" and didn't know if we had that thing for a relationship. Said it wasn't anything I did, another guy, etc. I played it cool and took it all in stride.

Never understood why guys "take it all in stride" when a girl they have been sleeping with tells them "we are just friends". If you were selling your house and the purchaser came back to you after several viewings and put the house down, called it garbage, and said that it was overpriced, would you take it "all in stride and play it cool?" No way in hell. You would call them on it and tell them off so they never ever do it again.


The day after the break up, she added a guy to her faceook and I knew that was a red flag instantly. Now 5 days later they're in a relationship. She must have been seeing him behind my back if it was that quick.

I've never really gotten "played" in this sense and was pissed, but I've calmed down now. Based on her personality, she didn't come off as a player at all. Don't know how I didn't see that unfolding. My only cue was that in the last week or two I noticed she was gone a lot more to hang out with "friends" but didn't think anything of it.

What would be my best reaction? I'm not going to confront her about it, but rather just delete her and all her photos off my facebook and move on with no contact. How have you guys handled these situations?
You had your chance to confront her when you talked to her. To call her back now after 5 days to call her on it is a waste of time unless she contacts you.
 

Zarky

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OP, this happens all the time, better get used to it. Doesn't make her a 'bad' person (nor does it make her a 'good' person.) It hurts but walk it off, if you spend any time in the dating world you will have it all done to you--cheating, lying, fights, other weird sh*t..

..but that's also part of the fun ;)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Weezy

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the_stig said:
We'd been getting it on for months and it was clear we were in a relationship. Probably why she didn't facebook this guy until she changed it to "single".

No desire to talk to her again and I definitely don't want her to think i'm hurt, because i'm doing great and have new prospects. So should I leave her on my facebook like I don't give a damn, or unfriend her and delete/untag all her pictures? What's the best move?
No need to delete her if you can handle it.

Makes your frame the strongest.
 
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