I think i fvcked up again.

[DEKKA]

Everything was going excellent with the latest member of "Team DEKKA" we've been seeing each other for about 6 weeks.... that is until last night... which was halloween.

Mistake #1: I didn't want to go out with her that night in the first place because I didn't have a plan and I knew she'd be basically calling the shots which I knew would be bad.... I went anyway.

Mistake #2: I took 3 Xanax before I went to take the edge off cuz I was so not into this evening in the first place. We watched supertroopers at her house with her bro before I decided we'd check out a party I heard about from a friend.

Mistake #3: Drinking coronas which mixed with the Xanax I took earlier in the night. I was so ****ing mellow that I was so out of it. I didn't even really talk to her the whole night and the usual great intimacy was gone. Not to mention the party sucked and had like 10 people when it was "supposed" to have 200+... so I told her we were gunna leave.

Mistake #4: Basically the rest of the night. I drove over to burbank and got some ganja from my hookup and cruised back to my place cuz she agreed to get high with me(which wasn't clean at all and looked like **** but i could care less cuz i was so fvcked up... i didnt care about anything). After I took a couple hits I was completely fvcked up and she took one but I could tell she was sober as hell and really pissed off...

I then drove her home high and drunk and I couldn't feel my feet touching the petals(which was really weird) and somehow made it back(but she had to remind me where we were going even tho id been there 20 times).

I think I really hurt her feelings in the car in front of her house as I phased in and out of reality. I brought up the guys shes slept with in the past and who knows what else. It was all a blur by then.

It was 2 am and we were still sitting in the driveway(me fvcked up and her wanting to go to bed but not wanting to leave me in the car)... who knows how long we'd been there and what stupid **** i said before i told her id be ok with a glass of water and a walk around....

I got it gave her a hug and somehow drove successfully back to my house where i fell asleep and woke up the next morning at 8 to go to work(still high as fvck)....


so... did i fvck up you think? i know for sure i put her in a position of leadership that night cuz she basically had to tell me which way was up.. i left a message on her cell today appologizing a little and left it at that... i dont plan to call her until she makes contact and ive made peace with the good possibility of never seeing this one again. se la ve. wonder how this is gunna turn out.

 

[BRYCEicl]

you've got issues man. you have things to take care of with yourself before you can start getting girls.

 

[DJZ]

Your first step should be to quit taking drugs. I had a friend who was addicted to xanax and many other kinds of pills. It took him hitting rock bottom before he finally decided to make a change. It sounds like you are about to lose a girl you like, over drugs. I wonder what else you will lose if you keep that crap up?

 

[Postal_Priest]

Originally posted by BRYCEicl
you've got issues man. you have things to take care of with yourself before you can start getting girls.

I don't see any glaring "issues" the dude has. Taking xanax before the date was a bit over the edge, I'll say, but its just wrong timing.

Just don't mix 3 drugs (especially when they are all downers) in front of women. More specifically, women you are on a date with.

 

[G_S]

Just another wave in a sea of emotional retarded people. It seems the art of "entertaining guests" is dead. Now it's, "lets damage our brains a little so our life doesn't seem as boring." Taking drugs to mellow out on a date is a trademark of unconfidence. As someone said, “you have things to take care of with yourself before you can start getting girls.”

This is 20yo grown man. Maybe if he was in high school and was doing this crap I'd say, "okay, live and learn," but as an adult who should be in the work force, or earning a degree to move up in the work force, this is pitiful. Get your life together kid; I see several red flags in your post. I've shaken my magic 8 ball and 'going to be a loser' floated to the top.

Get off drugs, seek some counseling, get an education, join the DJ boot camp, and work on becoming the person you want to be. Drugs are by far the funnest way to kill your brain cells, but they'll ultimately only slow you down and distract you from your goals. (Unless your goal is to do a lot of drugs.) I won't even go into the "drove home so ****ed up I couldn't feel the pedals" thing.