I think I found my "Eye of the Tiger" to becoming a DJ

[The Comeback Kid]

I guess this post is sort of a long rant in a way, but I think I have finally been pushed over the edge in terms if social/dating at my school.

First, we had our HC Dance last night (I didn't have a date, an neither did most people). It had to be one of the most boring HC's ever - nothing happened. With the exception of some girls (a couple guys) and couples, no one danced. Most people just talked. There was one slow-dance song, but I couldn't find hte girl I liked in the gym, so I just yanked some other chick and danced with her lol (don't even know her name). I did say hey and get some kisses on the cheek from some other hotties, but overall, not much happened.

When everyone left, no one knew of any parties going down. My friend (who I had to drive) tried calling everyone he knew, but there was nothing. Oddly, when I woke up today, one of the more popular girls in my grade has an away message saying she's at this huge party. Some other girl also says she was at a party. Hmm...I did ask around - I know the Captain of the football team well and he didn't know anything when I asked him.

But that is not why I am so pissed. You see, I feel I have some social proof, but I don't get too far with girls. For example, I have worked with the football team for 4 years (hard to explain). I am well known for it, and during Senior intros the other day, the hot girls that were there at hte time (15 girls?) stood up and chanted my nickname. I probably got the loudest applause out of anyone. But at the dance last night, either they jsut ignore me or muster up a "hey DaXMan!"

I have tried to get better at the dating game since I entered high school. I feel I have enough confidence and poise to approach girls and start a conversation (which I do). But after that, it stops - nothing goes further. I ask girls out, I'll try to kino them a little, but it really doesn't go far. Menawhile, for my friends, girls just go up to them...even when I am literally standing right next to them. And I know some of these popular chicks have parties or take a lot of pics that they post on the web. I don't even know about these parties a lot of the time (and I do ask about it), but my friends get invited (I don't) - it's almost like these girls try to avoid me in a way. It's like I have a rep with the girls at my school, although I have never done anything, like drink, smoke nor s*x. Actually, I've never had a relationship nor shared a first kiss either.

I think the reason I am so pissed right now is because it seems everyone around me can get some real attention from girls (h*ll, I helped a guy get a girl last night), but no matter what I do, I end up where I started.

So where do I go from here? I am a Senior (HC Prince Soph.-Jr. years), girls have told me I am mature and confident, I get along well with many people, including the big jocks, I feel I have a pretty good personality, I am laid back/relaxed, but am probably more of a nice guy than a player. I don't smoke and mave have had a tiny bit of beer once in my life. Some of my closer friends have pretty good social proof as well, but it's them the girls go to, and not myself.

Finally, when I've posted here that I like a certain chick, thy really show some signs, but always say no when I ask them out. This frustrates me too. I can't tell at this point if a girl really likes me, because I have seen the signs and have always gotten a no.

I know this is a long rant, but for a laid back guy who doesn't really show his anger, I can't take it anymore. Maybe I need to become more aggresive and less laid-back (use my anger to my advantage)? I feel I need to become a true DJ.

Again, I know this is long, but any help is really appreciated - not with being a DJ, but why these things have been happening to me, as described above.

 

[LikRetsam]

Originally posted by The Comeback Kid
Again, I know this is long, but any help is really appreciated - not with beign a DJ, but why these things have been happening to me, as described above.

How can you say you don't want help with being a DJ when the problem you have is that you're not treated like one?

You've listed qualities you think you have. I say think because you assume girls like you and give you the signs based on these 'qualities'. The fact is they don't which further pushes my theory that these traits don't exist. But you'd like them too. We all would. We all want to be perceived as the sexy beast we see in the mirror each morning.

You think you have reached the top, or near it. Unfortunatly, you have not. I'll let Julian do his bit on the rabbit hole when he gets here.

The problem we all face and will face time and time again is that when we believe we know something, it stops us from even considering something other than what we know exists. I believe it's what they call having an open mind. I believe it's something you'll want to look into.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

What I meant with the thing u quoted was that I wasn't looking for things like "use C+F, use kino, etc." on this post.

I know I'm not being treated like one, but I just was looking any possible answers to what I had written above.

 

[Holland]

I can totally relate man,, It does suck when you have everything in your life the way you want it, except this area of life.
Just don't break down and go down the whole self pity lane (again). It's useless and it won't get you anywhere. Just focus on improving.

 

[LikRetsam]

Originally posted by Holland
I can totally relate man,, It does suck when you have everything in your life the way you want it, except this area of life.

This area of life does a good job showing how the rest of your life is looking. And since you didn't catch it the first time around, IT ISNT GOING THE WAY YOU THINK IT IS.

 

[B-Lemond]

TCK, I don't think we can answer that question. We don't know these guys and just basing on what you wrote won't do justice to what they really are like. I think what you should do is that you should study them and find the reason for yourself. It will be more beneficial for you to go and learn why by yourself, than if we told you.

 

[Holland]

This area of life does a good job showing how the rest of your life is looking. And since you didn't catch it the first time around, IT ISNT GOING THE WAY YOU THINK IT IS.

Well, I'm pretty much sure I enjoy the rest of my life. It's just that I don't get that much girls

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Originally posted by Holland
Well, I'm pretty much sure I enjoy the rest of my life. It's just that I don't get that much girls

same here.

LikRetsam, it's not like my life is headed for doom or anything like that. You make it sound like my entire life is a mirage, and you are wrong. It's not like these people don't like me as a person or anything like that. By what you're saying, you make it seem everyone is my enemy and everything I see is not true. I mean, some hotties still come up to me and all that, so it's not like I'm a nobody.

So, as Holland said, I enjoy my life. I'm just not a ladies man...yet.

 

[familyguyfan]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
This area of life does a good job showing how the rest of your life is looking. And since you didn't catch it the first time around, IT ISNT GOING THE WAY YOU THINK IT IS.

No, that's not necessarily true.

I am personally doing GREAT in all aspects of my life other than girls. Girls aside, the past 6 months or so has been the first time in my life I've ever been pretty much completely happy with my life. It's not like my life was bad or anything before then, I'm just very content with my life aside from getting girls right now. Though, I am doing much better with girls now, I'm just not getting any play so far. But I'm in my senior year now also and I love it. I've gone to parties every weekend since school started (I went to parties in junior year, but not nearly as many. I didn't hear about them as much), I'm doing well in school, I've got a great group of good friends (not just fake ones that you only see in school and/or at parties), and I've got a good relationship with my parents. But I'm not getting any play. So you're completely wrong in that how well you're doing with girls is indicative of how well the rest of your life is. And I'm not the exception. I can think of plenty of guys that get tons of girls that have sh*tty lives outside of that.

TCK, I'm in a similar situation as you. Though I go to parties and have a fairly good social rep. (I'm not really all that popular, but I'm friends with a lot of popular kids, guys and girls, and most of them like me in general), and some girls seem fairly interested in me, I can't seem to get any of them to go beyond just "hanging out". And those are just the ones that I can get to hang out with me (I hang out with girls a lot, but I'm talking about ones that I either call to hang out, or they call me..not just ones that are ni the same place at me cause of other people there). That aspect is really my fault cause I need to be faster and better at actually making a move. But some girls I can't even get to just hang out.

 

[LikRetsam]

Originally posted by familyguyfan
No, that's not necessarily true.

I am personally doing GREAT in all aspects of my life other than girls. Girls aside, the past 6 months or so has been the first time in my life I've ever been pretty much completely happy with my life. It's not like my life was bad or anything before then, I'm just very content with my life aside from getting girls right now. Though, I am doing much better with girls now, I'm just not getting any play so far. But I'm in my senior year now also and I love it. I've gone to parties every weekend since school started (I went to parties in junior year, but not nearly as many. I didn't hear about them as much), I'm doing well in school, I've got a great group of good friends (not just fake ones that you only see in school and/or at parties), and I've got a good relationship with my parents. But I'm not getting any play. So you're completely wrong in that how well you're doing with girls is indicative of how well the rest of your life is. And I'm not the exception. I can think of plenty of guys that get tons of girls that have sh*tty lives outside of that.

It's amazing how a reply like this could be seen coming miles away. You demonstrate two very important things: My theory is correct; and that the people that need to open their eyes can't see that they do.

It's called reading between the lines. The most important part of his thread isn't his life story but the reasoning that leads him to the thoughts presented here. Very similar to your own thoughts. You both think there is nothing wrong besides the fact that you can't get pvssy. Place that last sentence in [obvious foreshadowing].

I'm not going to pretend a post is going to make you see the light but I will add that both of you are trying hard to prove that you are in fact great all the while slipping in the fact that people like you for entertainment purposes only and it never goes beyond that. Forgive me for being so blunt, but that is the definition of a tool and quite possibly the image women have of you.

The first step to correcting a problem is admitting it exists.

 

[The Antichrist_Star]

Re: Re: I think I found my "Eye of the Tiger" to becoming a DJ

Originally posted by LikRetsam
How can you say you don't want help with being a DJ when the problem you have is that you're not treated like one?

You've listed qualities you think you have. I say think because you assume girls like you and give you the signs based on these 'qualities'. The fact is they don't which further pushes my theory that these traits don't exist. But you'd like them too. We all would. We all want to be perceived as the sexy beast we see in the mirror each morning.

You think you have reached the top, or near it. Unfortunatly, you have not. I'll let Julian do his bit on the rabbit hole when he gets here.

The problem we all face and will face time and time again is that when we believe we know something, it stops us from even considering something other than what we know exists. I believe it's what they call having an open mind. I believe it's something you'll want to look into.

If someone calls... I suppose I have no other choice to but to answer right?

You do have quite the conundrum my friend, one that you can learn (I think) a very, very valuable lesson from this.

First... what people say should never trump what people do.

Second... perception is reality kid, and how people see you versus how you see yourself is two entirely different things. The key... is being able to see the forest from the trees.

I read your post and really... I glossed over everything you said about yourself and focused strictly on how people treat you. Your friends get ass... you don't. Your friends get invited to parties... you don't. Your friends get attention from girls... you don't.

Are you noticing a theme here?

I have no doubt in my mind that you are a great guy kid... but you need to realize that other people may not see that how you do quite yet... and then make them see it.

~ AS

 

[Holland]

The first step to correcting a problem is admitting it exists

I admit that I have a problem in this area of life.
I also admit that it's the only problem I have in my life right now.
As I said

It does suck when you have everything in your life the way you want it, except this area of life.

That's pretty much the same thing, so I don't know what you're trying to say?
I never denied that I had a problem.
I think it's pretty ignorant of you that you think when someone doesn't get that much girls it means that the rest must be bad too.

 

[LikRetsam]

Sorry for the confusion, Holland, but my replies were a lot more directed towards the original poster than you for the reasons brought up by The Antichrist_star.

 

[Taviii]

Maybe you should not focus on getting girls.

I allways get better results when I have a passion in my life (like webdesign right now).

Try to direct all of your energy to that "thing" and girls will perceive you as a man with a purpose on earth.

Like someone said in the DJ Bible: Do you think that Alexander the Great, Napoleon etc focused on girls? No!! Thats exactly why they got so far in theyr life!

There are a lot of things a lot more important than girls in this world!

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
Sorry for the confusion, Holland, but my replies were a lot more directed towards the original poster than you for the reasons brought up by The Antichrist_star.

Wait, so you are saying my entire life is a wreck ONLY because I am not great at getting girls? SO everything I'm good at - that means nothing, right? That is a pretty bad argument right there LikRetsam.

AS made it a lot more clear IMO.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Originally posted by Holland
I admit that I have a problem in this area of life.
I also admit that it's the only problem I have in my life right now.
As I said


That's pretty much the same thing, so I don't know what you're trying to say?
I never denied that I had a problem.
I think it's pretty ignorant of you that you think when someone doesn't get that much girls it means that the rest must be bad too.

That's pretty much what I'd say.

LikRetsam, why do you think everything about me just has to be wrong...only because I don't get a lot of girls?

 

[LikRetsam]

No, it's definatly not your only problem.

You're ignoring what I'm tyring to tell you but you're focusing on how I'm saying it. I was too direct with you so now you're trying to get back at me. AS was less direct and you don't even comment on what he's added. This isn't an e-peen competition so for the sake of yourselves, leave your god damn ego at the door.

Wait, so you are saying my entire life is a wreck ONLY because I am not great at getting girls? SO everything I'm good at - that means nothing, right? That is a pretty bad argument right there LikRetsam.

TCK, I'm sensing quite a few red flags here man. You're trying to provoke people helping you. You're oblivious to the status of your social life. You're supposedly very confident about your situation all the while letting me, someone you do not know, get to you. You've completly ignored AS whose advice is golden for your situation. Come on man, atleast pretend that you want to get something out of this thread besides your e-image.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

LikRetsam, I think I just kinda understood it more the way AS said it than the way you said it.

I don't want to turn this into a war, like what happens to all of Viper's threads (no offense). I see what you're saying, but I think I just knew what AS was getting at the first time I read it. Some of what you're saying sounds like your trying to reduce me to nothing IMO.

It's pretty much just presentation and personal preference of how I understand things, and that's something that's just me. Nothing anyone can do about that.

P.S. I do appreciate AS's advice, and some of what you intend to say, so it's nothing like that.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
people like you for entertainment purposes only and it never goes beyond that. Forgive me for being so blunt, but that is the definition of a tool and quite possibly the image women have of you.

The first step to correcting a problem is admitting it exists.

I actually found this to be interesting, because you may have a point here. If there is any way you can develop on this, feel free to.

I was just curious because usually when people need to know something or how to do something, they feel I will know the answer, and a bunch of times I do.

If some people indeed see me as a "tool", what the best way to go about dissolving that image? I was thinking of something like "if I scratch your back, u will scratch my back" or something like that. It's only an idea I literally thought of a couple seconds ago lol.

 

[familyguyfan]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
It's amazing how a reply like this could be seen coming miles away. You demonstrate two very important things: My theory is correct; and that the people that need to open their eyes can't see that they do.

It's called reading between the lines. The most important part of his thread isn't his life story but the reasoning that leads him to the thoughts presented here. Very similar to your own thoughts. You both think there is nothing wrong besides the fact that you can't get pvssy. Place that last sentence in [obvious foreshadowing].

I'm not going to pretend a post is going to make you see the light but I will add that both of you are trying hard to prove that you are in fact great all the while slipping in the fact that people like you for entertainment purposes only and it never goes beyond that. Forgive me for being so blunt, but that is the definition of a tool and quite possibly the image women have of you.

The first step to correcting a problem is admitting it exists.

Yeah, there really isn't anything wrong with my life right now other than that I can't get pvssy. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm this hugely popular DJ that for some reason can't get any play. I know that I'm not all that popular (just friends with a lot of popular kids, and I party with them too), and I know that I have a lot to work on still when it comes to being a DJ. I'm not at all saying that I have all the skills, but they don't work. I have some of the skills, but I currently lack the ones that really build upon those and make you actually get the girl.

You could be partly right though. Some people I'm sure do see me as "entertainment only". However, there are definitely plenty of people that don't. I have a group of good friends that I hang out with a lot and I know they don't see me as a tool. Also, although I'm sure some of the more popular kids I know that I'm not great friends with see me as a tool or something, I know there are some that don't because I'm good enough friends with them. It's the same with girls, I'm sure some do see me as entertainment only, but there are some girls that I know do like me. Unfortunately, most of those are just friends, and not more.

Anyways, I'd like you to elaborate on what you're saying and how just because I don't get girls means my life sucks. Yes, I realize that a lot of the people I am friendly with are merely superficial friends with little meaning, but don't think that I don't have any true friends because I have plenty. And since I'm agreeing with you that I wouldn't be entirely surprised if some girls saw me as "entertainment only" (I am kind of a jokester at parties and even in class, making a lot of people laugh and whatnot), so what can I do to fix that?