I think i ****ed up big time...

[RandomGuy22]

ok A few weeks ago, i posted about how my g/f and i were having problems. Well.. two days before thanksgiving, i'm at her house and she tells me she wants to see other people, but that she wants to still keep seeing me b/c she really likes me and thinks i'm great, but she's goin to college, so doesn't want to be in a serious relationship. Well I was definetley not ok w/ that b/c i realy did like / still do like this girl a lot.

Ok.. so anyway thanksgiving break passes and that monday we both go to a concert with one of her friends. that night i had two friends who were girlst here and i was talkin to them, and the next day they asked me if we were still going out... b/c they said "she was all over you", which is true. She kept holding my hand and putting her arm around me etc.... then... when we get home and i'm going to my car she pulls me back and kisses me. Not like a big kiss, but a kiss nonetheless. so i was all confused about mixed signals..

Since that day, in the hallw e still walk and talk, we do tons of kino all the time, and she even sent me a "santa - gram" (it's a thing our school does in winter time) taht is supposed to be from girlfriend to boyfriend.. SO i was hella confused.

Fastforward to yesterday, we were supposed to go to this thing at the park with xmas lights, but it rained so i said i'll call u later and we can reschedule. I called and left a msg saying call me back. SHe never callls back. I asked her if she got my msg and she says.. "I got your message, but i couldn't think of anything for us to do... so i didn't want to call and interrupt your shopping" (i had an away msg on aim saying that i was at the mall, b/c i was). Anyway this really pissed me off that she didn't call, so i kept trying to hint at the fact tha tiw as mad, but she kept avoiding it. So finally... i just said "look this is bugging me and i have to talk about it" and she said.. "well part of the reason i didn't call back is b/c i don't want you to think i'm only want to see YOU, i still stand by my decision to date otehr guys". So we had a big long talk on aim (yes lame, but it was the only thing available at midnight) and we cleared the air... and decided to be "friends with benefits" whatever that means.. Anyway my problem is i don't kno what to do... I think that telling her all that was a big mistake, and it may make her like me less..

and also... she asked if i had any interests in other girls.. and stupidly i said "no, not at all". sigh..... this is the most pathetic AFC thing ever, and i know she has interests in other guys b/c when i said "would it make you feel weird if you saw me with another girl", and she answered "At first it would... but i love the chance at getting to know other guys, so i would be happy for you".

So...... help me save my dignity dj's... What would be the best way to handle this?

 

[Escalade]

The best thing to do is to go date other girls just like she wants to date other guys. She'll most likely contradict herself and get jealous if you get another girl, eventhough she's looking at other guys.

I'd say don't worry about that talk you had, no need to get stressed out over it. Ya, you did some AFC things but you also found out whats up between you two so your not bugging out over it anymore.

Get another girl and have the best time of your life with her.

 

[SomethingCreative]

Yea, the best thing you can do is date other girls. Like escalade said , she will probably get jealous and call the whole thing off. If she doesn't and you are looking for a relationship then I would cut off contact with her, and if that doesn't work just next her.

 

[MacdaddyJr]

First of all, I think you should just cut off contact with her. yes, you heard me. Tell her you don't want anything to do with her unless it's just you and her. You feel strongly for her I'm guessing(I say this only if you have strong feelings for her such as love).
If you don't care now and want to be friends with benefits go ahead. Sometimes I like that better. But if you care then don't waste your time with this chick, she'll probably get you all jealous and emotional.

Can you Imagine seeing her hooking up with all these different guys and then you having to hear about it by her or people who mistake you for being her boyfriend? She must have low IL in you now and just sees you as a piece of meat. LOL, that's better than how it could've been. It's not worth getting all upset over. Trust me, I know all too well. I really do.

If you cut contact(LJBF her), and tell her you don't want it that way then after a while I'll bet she'll come back to you. Especially if you go and date other girls and let her find out about it. That is the best way to play this situation I think. If you continue as friends with benefits then your letting her control the situation and you become her play thing that she takes advantage of. A dj does not allow a women to treat him that way and control the entire relationship. You need to get the power back.

---But do realize that it might not work and she might forget about you. ANd if she did, she never really cared. So it would be for the best I think. YOu don't want a girl like that. A perfect test in my opinion.---

I had a girl with a pretty long and serious LTR break up with me before she went to college She did it so she can get drunk and hook up and fvck a bizillion guys(the *****) then come back home for the holidays and tell me about to piss me off. I cursed her out so bad, ahh...but thats another story. She sounds like that kind of girl to me. Guard your heart friend.