I think a girl likes me, it's the first time this has happened to me, and I don't know what to do

[ALPHA_17]

I switched classes at university and met a girl; at first, we’d chat a bit, but later on, I’d just say hello. She seemed interested initially—she’d look at me and sometimes try to get closer—but I kept my distance because I’m shy around women. On two occasions, she tried to make me jealous by acting affectionate with her male friends. In the days that followed, she stopped paying attention to me.

Once, a friend of hers asked if I thought she was pretty and remarked that we’d make a good couple; that got me thinking. Yesterday, I was eating with my friends when—unfortunately for me—she walked by with her group; basically, one of my friends put me on the spot in front of everyone.

He literally said I was afraid of women, and I lied, saying it was because of a girl who had hurt me deeply in the past. Later that same day, I had a class where I had to give a presentation, and I think I managed to capture everyone's attention. Afterward, I felt like the center of attention; guys I didn't even know were talking to me, and she would sometimes touch my shoulder as she walked past.

She kept glancing at me from her seat, smiling occasionally while I laughed at other things with my friend. We only managed to make eye contact twice, but my glances were quick and a bit shy. It’s worth mentioning that all this has been going on for barely a month.

I have class today and think I should ask for her number using some excuse, but I’m scared to do it, haha; I’ve never been on a date and I’m afraid of messing everything up. All of this is new to me—getting everyone's attention and having a girl notice me for my looks or my personality.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I switched classes at university and met a girl. At first, we talked a little, but after a while I only greeted her. In the beginning, she seemed interested—she would look at me and sometimes try to get closer—but I kept my distance because I'm shy around women. On two occasions, she tried to make me jealous by acting affectionate with her male friends. Over the following days, she stopped paying much attention to me.


At one point, one of her friends asked me if I thought she was pretty and commented that we'd make a good couple. That really made me think.


Yesterday, I was eating with my friends when, unfortunately, she walked by with her group. One of my friends basically put me on the spot in front of everyone. He literally said that I was afraid of women, and I lied, saying it was because a girl had hurt me badly in the past.


Later that same day, I had a class where I had to give a presentation, and I think I managed to get everyone's attention. After that, I felt like I was the center of attention—guys I didn't even know started talking to me, and she would sometimes tap me on the shoulder as she walked by. She kept glancing at me from her seat, smiling every now and then while I was laughing with my friend about other things.


We only made eye contact twice, but my glances were quick and a little shy.


It's worth mentioning that all of this has happened over the course of just one month.


I have class today, and I think I should ask for her phone number using some excuse, but I'm scared to do it, haha. I've never been on a date before, and I'm afraid of messing everything up. This is all new to me—getting everyone's attention and having a girl notice me because of my looks or my personality.

OP,

1. First things first, stop being so sensitive. Some people are overly sensitive because they are too focused on protecting their ego. They analyze every word, action, or reaction looking for signs of disrespect or rejection. When things do not go the way they expect, they take it personally and become frustrated. Learn to not let small things affect you so much. Be able to laugh at yourself and avoid letting your emotions control your behavior, because being overly reactive can push people away.

2. You need to read about **** tests. Both men and women will tease you, roast you, or challenge you. It is often a way to see how you handle yourself and whether you are confident. The easiest way to deal with it is to agree and amplify. **** Tests: What They Are & 8 Ways to Pass Them

3. Lastly, you need to read about outcome independence. The main idea is that you should not become attached to a specific result. Your fear comes from putting too much importance on whether she likes you or whether asking for her number will work out. You need to be okay with either outcome. If she says yes, great. If she says no, nothing about your value changes. The less pressure you put on the outcome, the more naturally confident you will become. Read these 2 posts - The Guide to Accepting Yourself (even when women don't) : r/TheRedPill; Outcome Independence: The Structure, Planning and Process so you Do Not Give A **** : r/TheRedPill

TL;DR - Kill your ego.

 

[ALPHA_17]

Thanks, man. I was reading Pook a little while ago and I think you're right; it's easy to say I'll do it, but I find it hard to truly internalize it. Still, I'm going to give it a shot—I'm going to put my ego aside. On the other hand, I'm not really sure what to do on a date; I think I'm more afraid of succeeding than failing, haha.

 

[Askaladd]

Gracias, colega. Estuve leyendo Pook hace un rato y creo que tienes razón; es fácil decir que lo haré, pero me cuesta interiorizarlo de verdad. Aun así, voy a intentarlo: voy a dejar de lado mi ego. Por otro lado, no sé muy bien qué hacer en una cita; creo que me da más miedo tener éxito que fracasar, jaja.

What kind of date do you have planned?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Gracias, colega. Estuve leyendo Pook hace un rato y creo que tienes razón; es fácil decir que lo haré, pero me cuesta interiorizarlo de verdad. Aun así, voy a intentarlo: voy a dejar de lado mi ego. Por otro lado, no sé muy bien qué hacer en una cita; creo que me da más miedo tener éxito que fracasar, jaja.

That is a pretty loaded question.

The simplest way I can explain it is this: traditionally, masculine energy is action-oriented, and men are generally the gatekeepers of commitment, while feminine energy is relationship-oriented, and women are generally the gatekeepers of sex. Another common observation is that women tend to date across or above their perceived level, whereas men are often willing to date across or below theirs.

The practical takeaway is that, when you're on a date, your job is to create opportunities for connection and romance by taking initiative, leading the interaction, and gradually escalating if she's receptive. Her role is to decide whether she's comfortable with that and respond with either green lights or red lights. Pay attention to her reactions and adjust accordingly.

With this in mind, keep your first date simple. Grab a coffee, go for a walk, or do something low-pressure. If things go well, you can gradually increase the investment and physicality on future dates. There are plenty of books that go into much more detail about dating dynamics (hypergamy), escalation, communication, and attraction. I'd be happy to recommend a few, but I don't know which ones have Spanish translations.

Quite frankly, you're only 19, so I suggest increasing your value by working out, focusing on your career, expanding your social circle, and talking to as many women as possible. This will allow you to get away with more mistakes and still be successful in the dating game instead of falling into analysis paralysis. Right now is the prime time in your life to be around women, so take advantage of it.

PS: I forgot to answer your question but the only way to know for certain if a girl likes you is to ask them out. Good luck.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Bienvenido a SoSuave hermano. No recuerdo bien el motivo pero creo que tienes que postear en ingles.

 

[ALPHA_17]

Thanks, man. Actually, I'm in class with her right now and won't see her again until next week. I think she and her friends are talking about me; I feel both reluctant and scared to approach them, and—like you said—it's an ego thing. I'll try to do it when class is over.

 

[ALPHA_17]

Update: I couldn't do it xD

 

[ALPHA_17]

In the end, I didn't ask her out, but I still said hello after class before leaving. Later, one of the friends she had used to make me jealous came over to get something to eat while I was with a classmate; we sat together, and I asked him about that affectionate hug she’d given him. At first, he told me they were dating; then he said they weren't; and finally, he claimed she was interested in him. Honestly, after all the tension I’ve felt over the last month, I don’t think I care about her anymore or her whole group of friends, who make up half my class; I even hate them a little though I might change my mind when I see them in person. You’re right that I’m sensitive and that my ego complicates things; I think anyone else in my shoes would have slept with her by now. I don’t know why I’m like this.

 

[Tilex]

You need to lose that high school mentality of yours and realize you're an adult now, mingling with other adults.
All these chicks you see at your university don't live with their parents anymore. Just remember that.