"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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I suck with girls but really wanna change that

time2change

Don Juan
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Hi all, I'm new in this forum. Well, about a year ago I used to be a complete loser - I'd never go out on dates, I was very shy, etc. Now I'm at college - the situation seems to have changed for the better. I had a short relationship with one gal, but later I lost my interest and ignored her, so everything ended. Also made out with one girl at a club - this is quite an achievement for me lol. However, this didn't lead to anything more serious. The problem is that I suck with most of the girls. At first they seem to be interested but I start acting like an AFC guy and then their IL drops.
I'm now in a depression because of my last crush. Everything seemed to be perfect in the beginning. We went a few times for a walk, had goodbye kiss. She was really interested, would text me a lot, would even talk about having kids, marriage, lol. She would tell me she had a crush on me - I told it to her either and quite a lot of times(I know I did wrong). I also had a forthcoming date with her in a few days. Yet I managed to mess up everything somehow. I think I've shown too much interest, was too clingy, needy. Maybe it's because she's a 10 or at least a 9 - really very popular girl and attracts MUCH attention from others. Yesterday she texted me of fb, but didn't seem very interested and the convo wasn't really exciting at all. I suggested having some time apart, without texting, etc - I thought it would help. And she said sth similarly to this(well, neither of us is from an English speaking country): "why? we're not a couple, just friends". And later she also told that she has a crush on another guy, she doesn't know what she wants and similar bullsh1t.
So, I'm on my own right now. Deleted her from fb, deleted her number and trying to get over her. I had a similar situation a few moths ago with another girl. I know I have some self esteem issues - I don't feel too confident about my looks, girls don't usually chase me.
How do I change my behavior and become more successful? Thanks.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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LearningSlowly

Master Don Juan
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Read the DJ Bible and some journals. That'll set you off on a good start and it'll only get better from there.
 

The Gambler

Senior Don Juan
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time2change said:
Hi all, I'm new in this forum. Well, about a year ago I used to be a complete loser - I'd never go out on dates, I was very shy, etc. Now I'm at college - the situation seems to have changed for the better. I had a short relationship with one gal, but later I lost my interest and ignored her, so everything ended. Also made out with one girl at a club - this is quite an achievement for me lol. However, this didn't lead to anything more serious. The problem is that I suck with most of the girls. At first they seem to be interested but I start acting like an AFC guy and then their IL drops.
I'm now in a depression because of my last crush. Everything seemed to be perfect in the beginning. We went a few times for a walk, had goodbye kiss. She was really interested, would text me a lot, would even talk about having kids, marriage, lol. She would tell me she had a crush on me - I told it to her either and quite a lot of times(I know I did wrong). I also had a forthcoming date with her in a few days. Yet I managed to mess up everything somehow. I think I've shown too much interest, was too clingy, needy. Maybe it's because she's a 10 or at least a 9 - really very popular girl and attracts MUCH attention from others. Yesterday she texted me of fb, but didn't seem very interested and the convo wasn't really exciting at all. I suggested having some time apart, without texting, etc - I thought it would help. And she said sth similarly to this(well, neither of us is from an English speaking country): "why? we're not a couple, just friends". And later she also told that she has a crush on another guy, she doesn't know what she wants and similar bullsh1t.
So, I'm on my own right now. Deleted her from fb, deleted her number and trying to get over her. I had a similar situation a few moths ago with another girl. I know I have some self esteem issues - I don't feel too confident about my looks, girls don't usually chase me.
How do I change my behavior and become more successful? Thanks.
You've already answered most of your own questions... Now you just need to put these principles into practice. I know it's easier said than done, but I'm impressed by your analysis of yourself (you must be an introvert!)

There are many different types of women out there, so try to decide which type you're looking for. What kind of personality do you like? What types of things does she like to do? You get the idea... Start looking for her with one eye, while you go about your life with the other.

The Gambler
 

time2change

Don Juan
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Ok, thanks for the responses. But if I don't show my interest, don't be honest, don't talk with her often, etc, how can this lead to a normal LTR?
 

AlexLefty

Master Don Juan
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time2change said:
Ok, thanks for the responses. But if I don't show my interest, don't be honest, don't talk with her often, etc, how can this lead to a normal LTR?
If u don't show interest how will she know u like her?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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