I STILL have no friends!

[KillingTime]

Rant warning. I made a post a couple weeks back about how I have no friends and have a tough time making friends. I figured id look around my college for clubs etc... no luck there (im not the frat type.. but i guess thats a last resort)... I tried looking at my hobbies, which I don't have many. But I do play guitar and am into cars, so I went ahead and joined this Mustang forum. They have meets every Friday night so I went to one.... good God, these guys are so boring. They are beyond obsessed with cars, a bunch of guys and a couple ugly girls that go there... im thinking this cant possible help things... theres no cute girls around, a bunch of ugly loner type guys of all ages, im better off alone. So here I am, still no friends and it sucks. Ive gotten to the point where im confident as hell, I can look anyone in the eyes when I'm talking to them, I don't get nervous or screw up when talking to women but its no good if I have no life of my own ya know? I need real friends that I can talk to and always hang out with but unfortunately i dont have that. I think my personality is the problem. I don't like partying too much etc., so I don't get along too well with the really popular crowd. But I'm way more outgoing than the quiet people, so I don't get along with them either. F*ck man!

 

[Omega]

Then start a new hobby. For instance, I snowboard. From this I already have a wide spectrum of people to meet. I'm also into Computers, another wide spectrum. I also sing, another spectrum. I play football, trick rollerblade and powerlift/bodybuild, theres even more people. I'm starting to skateboard and breakdance, there's even more people. School adds more people, not to mention the random people I'll meet when I'm whereever.

Keep yourself busy..

 

[S0LID]

get a girl friend, she'll take up alot of time. Weightlifting will chuck u in a cool crowed cause they wont drink much.

 

[KillingTime]

Well I don't have much of a problem attracting girls, if I wanted too I could have a g/f right now. My problem is attracting guys, as gay as that sounds. I don't want all my time filled up by having a g/f b/c that could easily lead to oneitis, id rather chill with friends most of the time and have SOME time left for girls.

 

[DEKKA]

let me help you understand freindship making a little better.

before you go off saying you want friends you first have to understand what type of person you are, what type of person you want to be, and what kind of friends you want.

what i mean by that is that, in social circles, there are leaders and followers.

are you a leader or a follower?

if you are a follower than activly take an interest in other people that have similar interests as you. you will be living in their world in a way, but if thats what you like you can have a ton of friends this way, only, you won't really be in charge of stuff so to speak.

if you are a leader you got your work cut out for you. you have to make a name and a life for yourself thats both interesting and appealing to other people with the same interests. you must be having more fun, getting more chicks, and making more money, and look like you're doing better than the friends that you want to follow you. if you have those things in place than friends will come to you. you can do your own thing and invite them to join you.

generally two leaders don't get along well with each other and/or they each have their own life to worry about along with their own circle of friends (followers)

i think you get the general idea, but the main thing nomatter which way you choose, is to be interested in the people you want to be friends with. that is the singularly most important thing in making friends. people don't care about you, they care about themselves, and as such they really love if you appear to be slightly interested in them, and thats where having things in common really helps.

-J

 

[BrWnSugaMan]

KillingTime,


Does this definition describe you or not? Parts of it?

A pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:

Do you identify with any of the following numbers (1-7)? If so, which ones?


1)avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection
2)is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked
3)shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed
4)is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations
5)is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy
6)views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others
7)is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing