I still have a problem when it comes to relationships!

[Jariel]

I can't work this out. I've got seduction to where I want it and can attract women with ease. I am confident, have great social skills and have so much going for me in general. I've had girlfriends who I've not felt anything for, and they're practically worshipping me.

BUT my problem is that as soon as I develop feelings for a woman, I get LJBF'd!

The weird thing is I'm not aware of my behaviour changing and just continue as we were before I developed feelings so I just can't put my finger on it. Surely they must pick up on something (an unspoken vibe of desperation maybe).

I know many women would jump at the chance to sleep with me, but maybe the idea of a relationship with me is just offputting.

I know if I contain my feelings my relationships will succeed, but what's the point in a relationship then?

If anyone can shine some light on this I'd appreciate it.


Edit: Actually women do become very emotionally attached, even infatuated with me sometimes, so it's not just physical. But even so, I return their feelings and I lose their interest. Doesn't matter how old, what class, race, how we met etc, it's an ongoing trend.

 

[TxCowboy]

all u can do is force urself to just not give a fvck about the whole thing ....

learn to look at it all with humility and just have fun with it all ... in the end , its no big deal - just something else to enjoy in life

Also try to keep your mind preoccupied with other things in life that are important to you other than just one chick...

my 2 cents

 

[Jariel]

I do agree with you completely TxCowboy and whenever I do what you say, women are all over me, life is good.

But when I want to try for a LTR with one specific woman, that's when it changes.

 

[catch]

so are you saying a girl just goes off you as soon as you like them??

sounds to like they are just after your social proof, rather than you!

anyhow, i read a tip about posotive assotiation, the basic concept is for long term relationships, and if consists of just having the best time when your with her,

you dont moan to her
you dont shout
you dont be negative

what you do is show her all the posotive things about you, always show her your posotive side,,
secondly you have good fun with her every time your together,

go to theme parks together
go to comedy clubs
do practicall fun stuff

when she does all this posotive fun stuff, the good feelings she experiences will all be assosiated with you, and the best thing is, this stuff works, with friends, collegues, do you know any body that just lights up the room when your with them, its because they are so posotive,

the more posotive assosiation you you do, the stronger her posotive feelings towards you will become!
trust me this sets you up as partner, a good friend, a collegue not just for a bit, but for life, if a person assosiates you with there posotive feelings then they will want to be around you!!!

 

[Jessica]

I think reason is here!

Hello There!

The weird thing is I'm not aware of my behaviour changing and just continue as we were before I developed feelings so I just can't put my finger on it. Surely they must pick up on something (an unspoken vibe of desperation maybe).

I think reason is here!

You continue as you where before you develpe feelings!

- You develope wrong signals to her, ..

If you have strong feelings for her ..

- You have to show it...
- Tell her....

You have nothing to loose!

PS. Remember!
Keep it Simple!

// Jessica

 

[Tazman]

I'd say it's the type of girls you're picking up. They probably don't want anything serious (atleast right now) and you scare them away by trying to escalate things to that point.

 

[Desdinova]

The key is to keep your IL lower than hers. Well, at least in the way you verbally express it.

 

[Jessica]

Hello,

Respect to all replyes,

I do not agree,


If your signal is "0ne night stand" ..so on..
and..

suddenly you are there, ..you like her,..
Still your first apperance to her is, ..onenightstsnt..like...
so..,

Simply,

She do not believe you, she have already play the number ONE
GAME with you, seduction game..

So you have to work from here...

// Jessica

 

[SamePendo]

Originally posted by Jessica
Hello,

Respect to all replyes,

I do not agree,


If your signal is "0ne night stand" ..so on..
and..

suddenly you are there, ..you like her,..
Still your first apperance to her is, ..onenightstsnt..like...
so..,

Simply,

She do not believe you, she have already play the number ONE
GAME with you, seduction game..

So you have to work from here...

// Jessica

WTF did you just say?

 

[TxCowboy]

Originally posted by SamePendo
WTF did you just say?

HAHAHA .... I was thinking the same thing....

NO MORE DRUGS FOR HER !!

 

[Jariel]

It's a bit unrealistic of me to expect answers based on so little info, but thanks for the replies.

I get frustrated that I can never allow myself to fall for a woman and really appreciate the emotional side of a relationship. It's also weird that even when they want to get serious and obsessed over me, I only have to return their interest and it's over.

It's like I always lose out as soon as I stop being a challenge.

Anyway, it sucks to be rejected but I'm moving on instantly, and I've got myself a hot date already. At least I can deal with it better than I used to even if it does keep happening.

 

[rswarren]

thats crazy man... My problem is just meeting them and getting to the first kiss

Once I get to the the first kiss Im usually in



Remember once the girl likes you to keep up the C+ F ... keep up the teasing... all the stuff that got her attracted to you in the first place.

Public affection... getting her jealous etc.

 

[Radharc]

It's like I always lose out as soon as I stop being a challenge.

I have the same problem, as soon as i feel like getting more confortable in a relationship and relaxing and not having to always think in terms of "game" the girl seems to loose interest.
I´m starting to believe they´re built to behave like that or something, sometimes they pick on things that are actually not a big deal and make it look like you just comited a crime or something by just making it easier on her instead of harder. I don´t get it.

 

[Sp1kez]

Unluckyly I ahve the same problem...I can attract chicks with ease and I got the game down to a T, but after a few weeks of building attraction in them and when I stop playing games because I feel shes real, I get LJBF'ed!!! Continuing the same attitude as when youf irst me her through your whole time with her would be living a lie.

For Ex: This girl i met a month ago, we had HUGE attractin for each other...we finally got together, then the day after she tells me she doesnt want a BF, I tell her good me neither we can be good friends. We keep getign together and everytime after we make out or do something (thigns that just friends wouldnt do) she tells me that she is not looking for a relationship and I keep telling her that we're just ahving fun and theres nothing wrong with that...But now I feel like I have lost my attraction for her and she has lost it for me...we barely talk anymore and I doub we'll be gettign together again.

I can get a date easily, but then when its time to get serious they always LJBF me!

 

[ScrewIt]

I hear you bro, ive been in the same situation many times in the past.
When i let my guard down and show interest, the whole LJBF thing occurs, we would hang out and stuff but nothing really came out of it. Then when i disappear or stop contacting them, their interest in me surfaces and they will end up calling me up to do something. Usually at this point its useless because i've already lost interest. So no reason for me to be friends at all.

I think the easiest thing to do is to LJBF a girl first before they get the opportunity to do it to you. Be the great guy you are without having to worry if she likes you or not. It's all good if all you really care about is having fun with them. When that happens they'll start playing games and not answer phoen calls as much...which is when they want to become a challenge for you.

I think both ways works out pretty well actually, but the more effective one is the 2nd one imho.

But Jariel, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Has it occured to you that maybe they're responding with a counteractive attitude which was fueled only by your previous attitude with them? And given the opportunity, they'll easily jump to challenge/aloof mode.

 

[sstype]

Jariel, I think you may be intimidating to these girls. They see you as "one night stand" material b/c you are so damn hot, but when it comes to a relationship, they are afraid that you will cheat on them. You probably give off that player vibe.

Believe it or not, a girl getting dumped is far more destructive to her self-esteem than a guy getting dumped. They are more emotional than we are(most of the time).

first you need to ask yourself if you are really ready to "settle down" for a long-term relationship. Secondly, if you see a girl you really like and want to spend the next year or so with, you need to show her that you are willing to be exclusive to her. do things like complimenting her beauty, intelligence. Bring her a flower or do something special that she thinks you wouldnt do for any other girl. dont be too mushy about it, just show her you have a sensitive, caring side as well.

I think girls are sometimes right when they say they want a sensitive caring guy. Only they want the guys they find attractive to be a bit more sensitive and caring, not a pushover nice guy.

Basically what I am saying is toss the ego, and do a couple of the things AFC's would do, just dont overdo it, and you should be set for an LTR.

Best wishes