I started my own business and i think my friends might be jealous or resentful

[AAAgent]

So i've been working on my business for about half a year now. I finally recruited everyone to be able to as a business, start to progress further and move one step closer to creating and product and generate revenue. A lot of work has been put in on my end and although in perspective, we really haven't gotten far at all, we're right about where i expected to be which i'm content with (i have a thread about this in anything else). It took a while to find the right people, discuss business splits, network with the right people to get backing, and getting everyone on the same page.

I've tried many business in the past. Some that fail right away or some that i've made money off of. I work hard, study hard, and do my research. I usually test my business ideas through my network of friends after i have a thorough go at it. They either bash it or tell me i should try taking it to the next level. I'm the most accomplished out of my friends career and financially. At first they were proud, excited, and happy for me (perhaps envy). None of them are as driven as i am in anything they do. I work out hard and lift heavier, run faster, and am more aggressive in everything. Results show as i'm the biggest guy in my group of friends and have the most disposable income. I try to help my friends as i want the best for them but they found it annoying so i stopped. I managed to get my friend a job in the actuary field after he'd tried for over a year. I told him exactly what to do and how to network and he got the job. He barely thanked me (i did not care, just want the best).

So i work alot. At work and at home. Even when i'm out if i think about something i'll write it down. I'll network with friends and strangers and asked them if they know anyone that does so and so. can they introduce me to their boss or xyz person. I obviously always turn to my friends now and then for advice or their opinion.

They sometimes tell me they don't care or just ignore me. I don't believe they thought i'd actually get far but they don't seem to like me talking about my business so i stopped. When i don't talk about my business a week or 2 later they will ask me about it. I stay vague as i assume they think i'm bragging and don't like it. Until they pry and pry and i tell them things are going well. I assume they're back on the friend wagon and i can get their opinions again but when i start asking them more than 1 question I get shorter and shorter answers until sometimes they even ignore me.

If i talk about football they'll most likely respond.

They know i'm an honest and straightforward person but i can't tell if they think i'm bragging or if they're jealous. I'm thinking they're probably a bit of both. They probably don't like the way i bring up talking about my business and i may act like i'm better than them (i'm not sure if i do, but i don't mean it. I just act straightforward) and they are a bit jealous.

But if you have to imagine what i'm like, it's probably similar to Backbreaker where all i really talk about is my company this and that.

 

[AAAgent]

it's getting harder and harder to spend time with these friends. They're not ambitious and i feel they may be unconsciously trying to hinder my ambition. They party all the time for no special reason besides just being young. They're all college educated and have jobs but don't strive for more. I've tried to tell them, don't you want more in life? Don't you want money and the ability to do what you want?

work harder
Be smarter
take risks now when you can afford to bounce back

they are mostly all unhappy with their careers and lives and try to enjoy the moment. I'm like wtf...........do something about it and they obviously don't.


Back in college when i went to a different college i hung around the ambitious smart people and these kids worked HARD. Seeing people that took 20 credits or more, start their own club, maintain top class rank, win a business competition just opened my eyes. I followed around that kid everywhere he went and just tried to mimick his work ethic. I wanted to be better and i still do and i'm willing to work for it while i think my friends want to be better and want better to fall into their lap.

what should i do with these friends. Am I the problem or are they? Maybe we're both the problem and just have different view points on life and if so, should i be keeping them in it?

 

[Tictac]

Anyone that would try to stand between you, your ambition and your dreams is not a friend at all.

 

[The Simple Man]

Why do you keep asking for their opinions? They obviously don't know sh!t about business so they kept their mouth shut.

Friends are people who makes you relaxed when being around. If you don't feel right being around them, they will feel it, and it will be a mutually faded away. Same thing applies for any kind of relationship.

So stop worrying. You will know.

 

[Krueg]

I hear ya, I'm always busy with work and just dont have as much time as I use to with friends. Also, since I gotten older Im not really in the party scene anymore.

Lost a few friends but, my Real friends are still with me. I gotta do what I gotta do to live and survive in this world. I want the best for myself and my family..

 

[AAAgent]

@espi I've always been the one that breaks out either good or bad. I was a huge trouble maker while my friends never saw detention or got bad grades. I was a the best swimmer in my high school as well. They think I'm one of a kind haha.

@simple
I talk to my friends because this sh1t is stressful. Sometimes I just want a shoulder to lean on or someone to push and encourage me. I grew up with athletes that used to push each other to become better. It's pretty scary to know your entire life savings, the last 6 months, etc. could all just wash away before anything materializes(from this business). And when sh1t gets rough and I'm overworked and want to crawl into a corner and disappear and not feel obligated to deliver that's when I ask my friend a question or for their opinion looking for reassurance.

It's pretty lonely when your chasing your dreams and I want to give up all the time but I don't.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I wish I had people like you as my friend. We're almost in the same boat. I'm one of the youngest out of the people I hang with. I make the most money, Have the most drive, got the masters degree.

Sometimes I wish someone can motivate me, not vice versa.

 

[Driggs]

What is the business?

 

[The Simple Man]

@espi I've always been the one that breaks out either good or bad. I was a huge trouble maker while my friends never saw detention or got bad grades. I was a the best swimmer in my high school as well. They think I'm one of a kind haha.

@simple
I talk to my friends because this sh1t is stressful. Sometimes I just want a shoulder to lean on or someone to push and encourage me. I grew up with athletes that used to push each other to become better. It's pretty scary to know your entire life savings, the last 6 months, etc. could all just wash away before anything materializes(from this business). And when sh1t gets rough and I'm overworked and want to crawl into a corner and disappear and not feel obligated to deliver that's when I ask my friend a question or for their opinion looking for reassurance.

It's pretty lonely when your chasing your dreams and I want to give up all the time but I don't.

As I said, if you find being around them is relaxing for you, then just use the time with them to relieve the stress, if not, then being around them only causes you more stress.

But most importantly, your problem is your problem. Do not expect anyone to help you or encourage you. Personally, I never discuss my problem with anyone, but I find spending time with people who makes me feel at ease help me better coping with my problems (something like recharging energy lol).

My point is choosing people who you acquaintance with at the moment is very important, but it is not hard cause you always know who is good for you and who is not. You just have to trust yourself.

 

[Brian Drake]

As a newly published author (a long-held dream) I know how you feel.

I have my regular friends that I hang and party with.

I have my "writer" friends that I talk about business with.

You have to separate the two camps. The regulars don't understand what I'm doing, nor do I think they really care (only one of them bought my book). I no longer expect them to. At one time I did, and I would spend nights wondering why they didn't care, if they were jealous, etc. There was nothing productive done during that kind of thinking.

My writer friends are the ones I talk to about ideas and frustrations--they get it. We support each other. And, yes, they share the same experience with their "regular" friends, too.

Those of us who damn the torpedoes and forge our own path are different. We need to be around those who are like-minded, otherwise we will drown in discouragement. Even my family doesn't know how to talk to me about books. All they want are free copies, and I get the stink-eye when I tell them nothing is free. Like spending $8 is going to make them go broke!

Stick to your guns and don't talk about your business unless somebody asks. Other than that, tell only your like-minded compatriots.

 

[backbreaker]

AS someone who has been exactly where you are right now, you are giving yousrelf too much credit.

they really think you are a boring no life loser. I swear to god. This is what they think And if you think about it, if your entire mode of operation was partying and kicking it, looking at you, you would probably be a pretty boring dude.


No, jealously and Envy don't come until later. Until you have something to be jealous and envyous about.


The thing is, guys on this site try to paint women as this hypocritical cretaure, but most men are the exact same. IT wasn't until I started having fun, spending some of the money I busted my ass making, that my "friends" started backstabbing me and becoming envyous. At this point they won't care about all the time and sweat you put into your baby. No at this point they are just mad because you are having more fun than they are.

Right now they just think you suck ass.

 

[AAAgent]

@Backbreaker

Business wise, there is nothing for my friends to be jealous about as i literally have nothing except high hopes and people who think highly of what i'm trying to do with this business (aside from dumping money we are only now developing a product). I highly doubt they think i'm a loser. These are the kids who i used to fight for and beat up their bullies. I'm the guy they thought would end up in Juvie/jail and i almost did for a while but somehow turned a new leaf and got my degree/never looked back. I know for a fact that some of my friends are envious that i have my own place, that i make decent money, have a car, that i've won trips to london, won an iPad, etc. I've traveled the world and volunteered in 3rd world countries and now i get to fly international for work.

I remember when my company first offered a competition and the prize was an iPad, i told my friends i was going to win it (in my mind hoping i would). I won the iPad, then the trip to london, then i won some more money. I eventually got my own place with a short commute to work, and now I'm starting a business that might become something great.

So they may not be jealous of my business but i've been prepping myself with good credentials for a while. Not sure why your comment sounds so butt hurt. Is it because i mentioned your business had horrible reviews in my journal when you were trying to give me crappy advice? I was just saying the truth bro. It had horrible reviews 5 years ago and those reviews haven't changed. If you mad, you got no one to be mad at but yourself. 5 years to turn your attitude around but you haven't.

anyway BB, i respect that you've put in your time and made something of yourself but you got ego problems, which everyone on the board knows. I really liked this post of yours.

there is nothing pratical about being an entrepreneur so no one will ever tell you to do such. and like i told warrior it's not for everyone. you will struggle, emotionally, financially, mentally your family and friends will at some point most likely abandon you beucasie you no longer are living the type of likfe they believe you should live.

I believe true ideas and true convictions to the core in your idea and yourself are gift from god, whatever god you believe in that have to be fufilled. i believe that when you are given the conviction to believe in yourself and a unique idea it's god's way of calling you out for for a journey that he wants you to partake in. if you feel strongly about your idea and your ability to mold until the person you need to be, you have to do it.

 

[PlayHer Man]

AAAgent you are experiencing jealous beta fag friends. I've experienced this too and still do. Sometimes you just have to get new friends on your level.

Here's the deal: If you and another person are on the same level when you meet them. Then you become friends and eventually rise above them in some way (money, status, education, f*cking hotter women, etc.) don't expect them to be happy for you. It boils down to this --> Your success is a reminder of their failure.

People are all about EGO and they don't like feeling like losers. Its really that simple. I've learned to see this for what it is and know its about THEM and not me.

Once friends start acting jealous, toxic and rooting for you to fail.. they are no longer friends. Act accordingly and distance yourself from them for your own good.

 

[foreverAFC]

these people dont sound like real friends at all bro, and yes they probably are hindering you and holding you back, even just with the negativity they are bringing into your life, this is more reason to leave them behind

i used to hang out with the wrong crowd when i was younger, all i did was party and do drugs and all my friends were terrible people who were going nowhere, i left them all behind and dedicated all my time to working out and studying martial arts, its all i knew to do, and though i have no social life any longer i feel i am 100x stronger than i was before

leave those people behind, you are good at networking so you can easily meet people who are positive and share the same interests as you

 

[AAAgent]

@simple

I understand where your coming from. I'm generally the type that wears his emotions on his sleeve with people i consider friends but honestly i'm learning and starting to realize that nobody cares what your going through and it's better to keep that to yourself. It isn't easy though. When you have the world believing you'll fail, statistics backing that up, and friends who are potentially envious as well, sometimes every little bit of progress is like a huge victory. I've been keeping to myself and i've really only told my 2 closest friends and no one else. The other people (my other *friends*) i'm positive would be completely jealous.

@AJ

I used to be a nationally ranked swimmer and it was because of my coach. Sure i had talent but my coach used to rag on me day after day saying i was wasting her time, wasting her space, and a waste of g0d given talent. She would tell me to go home every time i slacked off. Well, it was that push that she gave me to that got me to that competitiveness. But since i have no friends/figures to provide that competitive/drive, i compete with myself by setting goals for myself.

@Bdrake

i totally understand that feeling. Back in college i hung out with my "nerdy/going somewhere" friends. They all got good grades, studied hard, or did some other sh1t i admired. I followed them around hoping their good traits/qualities would rub off on me. I spent little time hanging out with my regular friends as they were far away and all they did was gamble and smoke weed. Now that I'm working, my career friends are getting their Ph'D's, working overseas, etc. My other friends are still busy partying or trying to skim by in life without putting in much effort. These are my friends, but honestly i don't want to be around them. I want to be around people who want better for themselves. Not the status quo. So i'm stuck debating whether to stick with my friends or just chill out alone till i find people who's friendship i would appreciate.

yeah if i'm looking for friends who will show me a great party and down shots with me, etc. Great, i'll call these guys.

@forever & PHM

These guys aren't bad guys. They're just guys that want the status quo. They have jobs, live with room mates and smoke and gamble on a manageable basis. They have college degrees, etc. Normal average joe citizens that make 40-50k. When i don't talk about anything CAREER related, they're all right but honestly this is the most important time to take charge of my career so i'm focused on that. I'm not focused on a halloween costume, the next edm event, so and so's birthday who i barely know but has hot friends. So it's hard to tell if these guys are really bad for me or not. I've started to distance myself from them already anyway. These guys aren't jealous of my success with girls as i really haven't focused much on girls. The one guy has a girlfriend and the other guy might be gay. I have guy friends who have c0ckbl0cked me in the past and i've cut them out of my life.

 

[happyDJ]

"you are the average of the 5 people you spend most time with"

You should get new friends. I'm not saying dump these friends, but they do drag you down a bit. Keep them for fun and network. Don't talk to them about the business. It hits their nerve watching your success. You'll see the difference when you have a group of friends with the entrepreneur mindset. It's night from day.

 

[AAAgent]

I'll stick with distancing myself from them and talking about non career/work related stuff. If they ask or pry, i'll give them very basic answers. I'll probably just focus on keeping any type of news good or bad to myself. Seems like people don't want to deal with your lows and are jealous of your highs.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

when i started my business i got the same. some of my friends even called me a smug ******* because i was not working like "any normal man". why risk when you can have a "normal job"?
and these people called themselves friends. i think they were just seeking approval for that lifestyle. i mean wtf? people do what they feel is right for them, if they wanna work for others, it's cool. but if i don't, why is that something bad?
they slowly distanced themselves. some are faking a friendship just to periodically ask me to loan them some money...
it feels lame.
on the other hand, i started to attend business meetings, and met new people with the same mentality as me. more proactive, thinking more out of the box. your lifestyle changes, your friends change. accept it.
people don't like to see others do better than them. they don't see motivation to be better. they just see someone doing better, and they resent that. because they are lazy to change for the better. those who really like their lifestyle will remain your friends.
it's just like when fat friends see you go to the gym, diet and get slimmer, more ripped. they call you shallow. so hypocritical. it's them who cannot see beyond appearance. their loss. it hurts to some point. but you must keep working on yourself to get better. and whoever judges you for this, it was not a real friend to begin with.

 

[b3y0ndUrf34r]

They are not your friends anymore.

 

[AAAgent]

It really sucks to hear these things. I have no problem cutting them out but i believe they are good people just plagued by human instincts of envy and it's not like i'm rolling in dough. Quite the contrary since we haven't made a single penny and won't be making any money for atleast 6 months. I have no problem ditching my friends as I've always been content being a loner. I am more creative and resourceful when i don't have anyone to rely on but it sucks to know that my friends consciously or subconsciously are trying to hold me down. I've already cut out one really close friend because he was jealous of the attention i was getting from women and started ****blocking me.

Hope this is the right move and thanks for the input all.

---

On a side note, it's not like i never hang out with them and party. I get crazy and celebrate but only when there is a reason to celebrate. I really don't understand the point of getting wasted for no reason every single day that you can. It's not productive, drains energy, and money. I still pound down beers and take 10+ shots and hit on girls and wrestle with the guys ONCE IN A WHILE.