I start being really dull when Im around someone new, how can I fix this?

[CarpeDiem]

Im pretty sure that my main problem with girls and my social life in general is that once someone new is in the group/situation, I get incredibly dull, or I dont talk at all. When Im with my friends, im the complete opposite, usually the loudest or most outspoken.

I get incredibly dull whether Im with guys or girls, theres really no difference (well, maybe a bit more with girls). For example, lets say me and a few friends are hanging out then one of their friends which I do not know joins us. For whatever reason, I just kind stop talking and get quiet, or say very general boring things.

An example of when im by myself without friends was the other day in my bio lab. We had a dissection to do and I partnered up with the girls across from me. Its easy enough for me to start a general conversation (talking about school, careers, classes, just boring stuff), abut while im talking about that stuff, my voice just seems to boring and uninterested (well, to me at least).

Basically, my question is, how can I get myself to put a little more emotion into what im saying. As well, when im talking to someone new, how can I escalate the conversation from the standard small talk to more personal things, thus letting myself open up more?

 

[rkc09]

Treat strangers as if they're already your friends. Just be yourself. You said that when your around your friends your outspoken and energentic right? We'll do that towards New people.

Every friendship has a begininng. I was in the weight room on campus the other day and these to guys were talking to eachother the whole time while I was working out. They were talking about their math class and then I randomly jumped in the convo asked with a smile on my face who their professor was and BLAM! Come to find out that we all had the same teacher and I took it from there. I started a convo with complete strangers and by the time I left, they were friends. Why? Because the way I talked to them. I was talking to these dudes like I knew them my whole life. I never met these guys but 1 min later after I jumped in the convo, we were all crackin up laughing talking about how horrible our professor was.:crackup:


See it's all in how you view it. When you first meet people you don't want to treat them like strangers, because you'll come off as dull and boring. But instead view them as new people(friends) and act the way you do around your friends and you'll find that it will be very hard for it to get akward(can't spell lol). And Remember to express your self to the fullest. Don't hide who you are! Hope this helped you bro. Good luck!:rockon:

 

[oscarxp25]

I used to have this problem and almost completely over it... take rkc09's advice

 

[CarpeDiem]

Alright, thanks! Anyone else?

 

[stonetowers]

I had the exact same problem.My problem was that I was over thinking how to make a perfectly good first impression,and assumed that any attempt at wit and humor would backfire.So out of paranoia I would do what I thought was playing it safe and simply stay quiet.

If this site has taught anything it's that SAFE IS BORING!Take the leap and don't worry about trying to make people like you or even fall in love with you.

Remember for every one or two people who don't like you there's five people who think your the ****.You didn't need there approval before and you don't need it now.

Do you,period.

 

[rkc09]

Have you ever been around a stranger and have them just spark up a convo with you and if they'll come off as happy and entergetic and interested in you? Then suddendly thier emotion rubs off on you and now you want to get to know them? Little things like that is what start friendships. A journey of 1000 miles always begins with 1 step. But understand if you act cool and friendly towards everyone(which you should) they're are gonna be some ppl who will act like they don't want nothing to do with you. Those are actually the ppl that you want to avoid! Because they're either stuck up (think they're too good for you) or just dull and boring. Just brush it off and remember that they weren't worthy of having you as a friend if that was the case. (Keep that Mentality)