I sometimes get intimidated and think of people as "above" me

[ersit]

It's illogical, but it's hard-wired in my mind. On a college campus, I can pick out the people that generally flip this switch in my mind.

Football player/cheerleader types (know everyone, get invited to everything)
People who seem to already have one foot out into the real world and have no time for anything related to college besides going to class and doing homework.

Instinct tells me I need to impress these people. I need to justify myself to these people. I might be smarter and funnier, but they have the edge socially.

I do generally have approach anxiety, but once I'm actually talking to people (other than the types mentioned above), I'm perfectly fine. Laid back, not not giving a damn what anyone thinks about me, making people laugh...

Yet I'm so hung up on the idea that certain people are above me socially, that I don't even consider these women options. I know it's not true, but I can't help but feel like these people are just out of my league.

I've dated a 9, but she wasn't part of the social elitist cliques and never gave off that vibe.

What can I do to get over this?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Stop comparing yourself to other people, it's a waste of time. Just be a better person than you use to be. This does not mean "Just be yourself." :rolleyes It means be your best self.

 

[reset]

There is no "above" or "beneath". Just your perception.

 

[ersit]

I'm aware of this, but I don't know how to change my perception if it's still there when I've developed the skills socially and know, through reason, that they aren't above me.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm aware of this, but I don't know how to change my perception if it's still there when I've developed the skills socially and know, through reason, that they aren't above me.

Dude, what do they have to do with your life? Why are you so ingrossed with them? You could be focusing on yourself y'know, if you wanted to.

 

[reset]

Yeah, that's the key. Just realize it's your PERCEPTION. Then think about all the other things that are just your perception. You always decide how you feel about something.

Helps to just be aware. After awhile it will just click and you won't feel intimidated.

 

[azanon]

If you feel you have a social void, have you considered rushing for a fraternity? Personally, I never felt the need or desire for it, but maybe you would like it? In college, all i cared about was my grades, playing tennis/working out, and going on dates. I didn't feel the need for a large social circle/fraternity to do any of those things.

 

[reset]

This is all normal. Once you gain some confidence you realize how meanigless so much of this is. Just keep focusing on your good qualities whenever you are feeling "beneath" someone else. Eventually that'll drown out that voice that tells you that you need to compete or have something to prove, because you don't. No one cares. Most people are just like you, worrying what others think of them. SO concerned, that they aren't even noticing you at all. It just seems that way in your mind. They're thinking the same thing.