i set up date, she seems excited, agrees a time, now flakes, not worth replying?

[starplayer]

To NEXT or to try one more time?

Well for what it's worth, I had a similar situation with a girl a couple of months ago which I posted about on here. I tried again and she didn't flake but it was still a disaster.

It was much the same as your situation: she seemed to have high interest then flaked at the last minute, but then followed up with a text saying she still wanted to see me soon.

At first I was shocked and disappointed because she had been acting as though she had very high interest. I was then angry about her disrespectful behavior, but didn't show it or call her out on it. I ALMOST ALMOST NEXTed her and now i really wish I had.

But I waited a week and by then I'd cooled down a bit so I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and asked her again. She was enthusiastic and we met up the next week. However, when we met it just seemed like there had been a power shift. She didn't respect me as much as last time we had met. Needless to say that was the last time we saw each other.

I made the mistake of dealing with it as a TEST but not seeing it for what it was: a disrespectful girl who was rapidly losing interest.

A girl who flakes like this doesn't respect you. She's playing games and wants to string you along. Her interest is not as high as she makes out. JUDGE HER BY HER ACTIONS, NOT HER WORDS.

A woman with high interest in a guy would not risk losing him by showing this sort of behavior.

If anything I would make her get in contact with you and really make her work if she wants another chance with you. If not then it's her loss - she's blown it.

At the moment she doesn't value your time and she's taking you for granted.

 

[Confused]

I think I made the wrong choice, I went back to the cafe where I met her and said hello, I attempted to be distant when she came up to me to talk but I couldn't pull it off and just carried on with c+f stuff which I didn't do when I met her. Should I have acted cold and uninterested cos she clearly was trying to see if she still had me? I ended up asking her for an immediate date which was a walk in the park but it just reaffirned to her she was not interested in me so I wasted my time. As soon as I carried on talking to her in the cafe I knew that was when I committed myself, I need to be more cold and distant when the girls come up to me for attention. Not sure how to do it without coming across rude and bitter. Would it really made any difference in increasing her I'll level if I was acting uninterested? I feel stupid for going on an immediate date with her now. Waste of time and money when I could have picked up the hotty sitting at the back of the cafe instead.

 

[Confused]

The whiole date she was just subcommunicating to me how I wasn't here type at all physically etc, she was into tall big american football players whereas I'm relatively small/ thin, I'm in good shape but no way near the size she attracted to,. I feel an idiot for wasting my time actually thinking I could turn this around. It just seems as if I further supplicated her rather than punishing her for flaking. It just reaffirmed in her mind that she wasn't interested in me, I just wanted rebound sex which seemed relatively easy to get from a broken hearted girl. Damn. What a waste mainly for the act I coulda picked up that hotty instead. I made the wrong move right? I'm not skilled enough as pick up artist to escalate an uninterested girl. In future I need to say hi, and just don't get into convo with her.

 

[Confused]

I wish I read this before I took her out.. Its exactly how you described it but I was stubborn enough to believe that I could turn it round. I'm just aggravated I wasted my time on an uninterested girl when I could have picked up a hotty in the back who was far more attractive than the girl I took out, I just felt committed after I gave her too much attention by talking.. Grrr.. I need to just say hi, and say very little and then pretend I need to get back to whatever I'm doing, now I've left her with the feeling she can have me whenever.. Not cool.QUOTE=starplayer]To NEXT or to try one more time?

Well for what it's worth, I had a similar situation with a girl a couple of months ago which I posted about on here. I tried again and she didn't flake but it was still a disaster.

It was much the same as your situation: she seemed to have high interest then flaked at the last minute, but then followed up with a text saying she still wanted to see me soon.

At first I was shocked and disappointed because she had been acting as though she had very high interest. I was then angry about her disrespectful behavior, but didn't show it or call her out on it. I ALMOST ALMOST NEXTed her and now i really wish I had.

But I waited a week and by then I'd cooled down a bit so I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and asked her again. She was enthusiastic and we met up the next week. However, when we met it just seemed like there had been a power shift. She didn't respect me as much as last time we had met. Needless to say that was the last time we saw each other.

I made the mistake of dealing with it as a TEST but not seeing it for what it was: a disrespectful girl who was rapidly losing interest.

A girl who flakes like this doesn't respect you. She's playing games and wants to string you along. Her interest is not as high as she makes out. JUDGE HER BY HER ACTIONS, NOT HER WORDS.

A woman with high interest in a guy would not risk losing him by showing this sort of behavior.

If anything I would make her get in contact with you and really make her work if she wants another chance with you. If not then it's her loss - she's blown it.

At the moment she doesn't value your time and she's taking you for granted.[/QUOTE]

 

[Confused]

Either way it wouldn't have made a difference! She wasn't interested I knew this, I should have left it with me acting uninterested too. She even did disrespectful stuff on our outing mentioning other guys, I just said something about she should go off and enjoy herself there. I found this disrespectful cos she not only communicated disinterest in me she demonstrated interest in someone else while with me. I should have suggested we should leave. Anyway it doesn't matter now, I f'd up instead of taking the high road. I need to start respecting myself more even if it means acting cold to disobedient uninterested girls. I can act uninterested next time I see her but its already too late.

 

[starplayer]

Well as long as you've learned from the experience then you haven't wasted your time.

I think most guys reach a point where they just say enough is enough and refuse to tolerate women's bullsh!t mind games. After this breaking point you will grow because next time a girl starts showing you disrespect you will think back to that experience and put your foot down straight away.