Ken785
Master Don Juan
i do remember...we were playing "backslap" me and BRO got backslapped, i turned around and backslapped her.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I Seriously Fvcked Up! Vodka<embarasment<cops!
- Thread starter Ken785
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
TyTe`EyEs
Master Don Juan
Ken785 said:
Who the fvck plays backslap? I'd also want to hit somebody if they're doing some immature sh1t like that.
Ken785
Master Don Juan
the reason why i said i dont know why i did it meaning 'in the moment' it just happened..if i were sober id NEVER do something like that. I didnt make up the game...they were the ones backslapping each other and they backslapped me... i didnt start it. Im packing up my things right now and moving back to SF...i dont care if it makes me look like i left because of this...i need to go back to school anyway and grow to do things on my own with better friends.
Yeah your cousin used you to act the big man. And the woman used you for drama. You know how this could've played out? You 'backslap' her, she says hey dude that hurt, take it easy, you say gee sorry I got carried away, she says no problem, THE END.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
ValleyDJing
Master Don Juan
Honestly, I would never punch a family member over a ho. You need to tell your cousin he's a b.itch for doing so.
Ken785
Master Don Juan
im in san francisco right now. going to move the rest of my stuff later this week. I relized that the group i was hanging around (cousins and friends) never cared about me, there words say they do but actions say they dont. My opinions get ignored most of the time, what i say never goes, i am constantly the butt of peoples jokes although i have been trying to assert myself more (i notice they dont joke with bigger guys, im the smallest one), whenever i call to see if they want to hang out theyre never enthusiastic about it, theyre just like whatever, unless they need something from me of course or need me to do something for them, also whenever visitors or girls they always try to alpha male me in some way or go tell me to do things making me look like a b!tch and lower my value so they can look like a "leader" so to speak, theyve always tried to qualify themselves as being alpha...
for ex. theyve always told "stories" about how they grew up in rough lives living that "gangster life" although ironically one is a small time pop singer now (his excuse for not living that life now is that it ruins his "reputation" because people know his face), even though he gives me advice like an older bro he still even tries to lower my value and take other peoples sides instead me me, one of my cousins (the one that punched me) always tries to qualify himself talking about doing "hardtime" in county jail (dorm system) for a whole 8 months (this is the same guy that cried at his arraignment).
Everyone in the group is really good "friends" with BRO, maybe because hes a singer and gets lots of attention, hes a total goofball but is good with woman, he knows how to make them laugh but most of the time just circus clown stuff and stories. Im tired of being at the bottom of the barrow when it comes to the group, everyone tries to qualify themselves by making themselves out to be a "tough guy" and its so fake. I even tried to talk to one of my other cousins about it who is a closer cousin to the 34 y/o which weve only really known each other for 5 years but they are way closer to each other than i am to them). Im like dont you get sick of them telling you what to do trying to make you do things for them knowing they wont do the same when you ask them? Theyre always saying they have my back yet never willing to help when i ask...why do they say they have my back?
(...guess what his explaination was...) "Thats how they are, you cant change them, they will have your back when your lifes on the line or something but they dont do stuff like that. (now im thinking WTF??, they make the "lil guys" do things for them but they will NEVER do for them?) and he also says man theyve been through alot" (the whole gangster life thing)
...so does that mean we have to do what they say???..man i dont know about him, he can accept it if he wants.. but im sick of this...its like they only want to hang ouyt with you if it benefits them, or you half to be bigger than them or "tough" and then they wont disrespect you..i need better people around me!!
One of them even says "ohh...i used to make MILLIONS of dollars in the street doing scams and selling drugs and stuff.." If you really did...wheres that money now?? your close to a hundred thousand in debt, have negetive equity on your mortgage, have a failed relationship with someone you have a 9 y/o daughter with, 34 years old still trying to band as much 19 y/o pvzzy you can get your d!ck in. His little bro (the one that hit me) has a 4 y/o that he doesnt even take care of but then he says he works "hard" for his money...(works at a computer gaming center, plays video games for 6 hours) he tries to DLV me i guess by saying im lazy and need to work because i havent had a job for 7 months (im going to school).
I hope they dont land on this site because the 34 y/o cousin is a computer wheez and might look at my history even though i clear the browser everytime...or at work he might log in my IP address and see whats on my screen. Hopefully not, i dont need no more of this b!tch drama sh!t from "family". I prey they dont stumble upon this...but i just have to let what i feel out.
**What i have now told you is the truth! Is is not exaggerated because im in anger. I need to quit lying to myself...these arent my real friends or family. - Ken
for ex. theyve always told "stories" about how they grew up in rough lives living that "gangster life" although ironically one is a small time pop singer now (his excuse for not living that life now is that it ruins his "reputation" because people know his face), even though he gives me advice like an older bro he still even tries to lower my value and take other peoples sides instead me me, one of my cousins (the one that punched me) always tries to qualify himself talking about doing "hardtime" in county jail (dorm system) for a whole 8 months (this is the same guy that cried at his arraignment).
Everyone in the group is really good "friends" with BRO, maybe because hes a singer and gets lots of attention, hes a total goofball but is good with woman, he knows how to make them laugh but most of the time just circus clown stuff and stories. Im tired of being at the bottom of the barrow when it comes to the group, everyone tries to qualify themselves by making themselves out to be a "tough guy" and its so fake. I even tried to talk to one of my other cousins about it who is a closer cousin to the 34 y/o which weve only really known each other for 5 years but they are way closer to each other than i am to them). Im like dont you get sick of them telling you what to do trying to make you do things for them knowing they wont do the same when you ask them? Theyre always saying they have my back yet never willing to help when i ask...why do they say they have my back?
(...guess what his explaination was...) "Thats how they are, you cant change them, they will have your back when your lifes on the line or something but they dont do stuff like that. (now im thinking WTF??, they make the "lil guys" do things for them but they will NEVER do for them?) and he also says man theyve been through alot" (the whole gangster life thing)
...so does that mean we have to do what they say???..man i dont know about him, he can accept it if he wants.. but im sick of this...its like they only want to hang ouyt with you if it benefits them, or you half to be bigger than them or "tough" and then they wont disrespect you..i need better people around me!!
One of them even says "ohh...i used to make MILLIONS of dollars in the street doing scams and selling drugs and stuff.." If you really did...wheres that money now?? your close to a hundred thousand in debt, have negetive equity on your mortgage, have a failed relationship with someone you have a 9 y/o daughter with, 34 years old still trying to band as much 19 y/o pvzzy you can get your d!ck in. His little bro (the one that hit me) has a 4 y/o that he doesnt even take care of but then he says he works "hard" for his money...(works at a computer gaming center, plays video games for 6 hours) he tries to DLV me i guess by saying im lazy and need to work because i havent had a job for 7 months (im going to school).
I hope they dont land on this site because the 34 y/o cousin is a computer wheez and might look at my history even though i clear the browser everytime...or at work he might log in my IP address and see whats on my screen. Hopefully not, i dont need no more of this b!tch drama sh!t from "family". I prey they dont stumble upon this...but i just have to let what i feel out.
**What i have now told you is the truth! Is is not exaggerated because im in anger. I need to quit lying to myself...these arent my real friends or family. - Ken
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Ken785
Master Don Juan
oh hes from a small market in asia...not even american...thanks to everyone following this thread..i appreciate it. i just need to move on as grow as a man...i dont need people like that to be negative towards me and "put me in my spot", thats messed up...there must be something about me that they are jealous of...they always try to make themselves look better than me in front of women and stuff..either by talking down on me or making me do things like a little puppet.
Good to see you getting sh!t together man. I used to have friends that would do those kinds of things. Needless to say, they're out of my life now. These days I'm surrounded by friends that care about and respect me. What you're about to do is worth it. :rockon:
Ken785
Master Don Juan
thanks bro...i wanna to make a change. i know i can grow to be a real DJ people will love and respect...not like those fake "DJs" i called my friends..
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
PeterNorthisawesome
Banned
Hey that means you can punch back the douche that punched you over the hoe!Ken785 said:
I bet you'll feel better and they'll learn to not mess with you.Ken785
Master Don Juan
what are you saying? i didnt get that...a DJ would have punched him back?...even if he felt he was wrong?...this guy does "care" about his girl but is willing to cheat on her if she turns her back...hes an 219 pound fat slob that takes what he can get.PeterNorthisawesome said:Hey that means you can punch back the douche that punched you over the hoe!
its because technically i did still put my hands on a girl even if it was a backslap. people have different opinions of whether his retalition was justified..i dont think it was at all but he hads to do something in the moment when someone hyped him to.
you guys know what the funny thing is?
we were all together... earlier that day, i was supposed to go to one of my cousins(punchers older bro) ex GFs wedding (shes my friend) and "BRO" told me , "Think about this Ken, Who is more important to you...your cousin or some hoe? I cant tell you what to do, youre a man that can make his own decisions...think about it..."
...i didnt go to that wedding that afternoon....then later this night this happens...kinda ironic??
PeterNorthisawesome
Banned
Well I don't really care for that DJ cr'p... if a guy punched me for NO GOOD reason then I will punch him back for self-defence and pride. The reason they treat you like sh't is because you do nothing and they KNOW that you will do jack sh't. Then again if you believe that you were drunk and that it was your fault that he sucker punched you... then it was right that you didn't punch him back. There's a differance between starting useless fights and defending yourself. Obviously the guy wasn't practicing what he was preaching, so you should have put him in his place by punching him. Screw what the other people think, they weren't there and they were drunk.Ken785 said:
Ken785
Master Don Juan
the guy that punched me wasnt preaching the bros before hoes stuff...it was my "bro" ...but he was there to listen to it though. Normally if someone would have punched me id hit them back...but i kinda feel like i didnt have reason to because i was the one that backslapped his girl...then again, i also feel he overreacted and tried to look like a tough guy...real tough punching your own cousin..PeterNorthisawesome said:
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
PeterNorthisawesome
Banned
Well your bro or whatever should have stepped in then... if you really backslapped the chick hard then you should apologize and just leave it at that. Tell your cousin that he overreacted and you'll forgive him this time, but if he does that same sh't again you'll knock him out. He'll probably think it's ok and that he was totally right, if you don't say anything.Ken785 said:the guy that punched me wasnt preaching the bros before hoes stuff...it was my "bro" ...but he was there to listen to it though. Normally if someone would have punched me id hit them back...but i kinda feel like i didnt have reason to because i was the one that backslapped his girl...then again, i also feel he overreacted and tried to look like a tough guy...real tough punching your own cousin..
AlexTheGreat
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 9, 2004
- Messages
- 497
- Reaction score
- 7
based on what I can read, "BRO" is giving out advice to try and sound important. this latest quote about him telling you not to go to the wedding "slickly" is just more proof that he's getting a kick out of controlling you. He feels alpha when you're around cuz you listen to him, and he feels important by down-talking to you. fuck that guy
Ken785
Master Don Juan
what i do notice about me and him is that...by him giving me advice and "lessons" on how to carry myself all the time, i am giving up all my power to him...he even gives me advice in front of others too (which i believe should be done in private instead) i notice that since he does give me advice, he tends to treat me different most of the time as well, i notice that he treats all the other guys with attention and respect and treats me with less...he has quoted before that...AlexTheGreat said:
"no one is better than the other, i am not better than you and you are not better than me"
i appeciate his advice but i also dont like that he treats me not the same as the other guys at times...but how do you take advice from people and have them not treat you different after you gave away your "power"?
AlexTheGreat
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 9, 2004
- Messages
- 497
- Reaction score
- 7
thing is, does he give advice to others as well? or just to you. cuz if you're the only one getting fed the "advice", then you're the only one feeding him the attention he craves. Stop listening to his advice, either by showing you don't need it, or by telling him. Already the simple fact of realizing that his advice isn't actually beneficial has woken you up. Since he gets power from you listening to him, remove his power.
AlexTheGreat
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 9, 2004
- Messages
- 497
- Reaction score
- 7
oh, and since the girl hit you first (that's what I've gathered from your original story), I don't see the problem in reciprocating.
There's a saying in french:
"Celui qui sème le vent, récolte la tempête" (The one who sows the wind, cultivates the storm).
Basically, if she can't pay the consequences of her actions, she shouldn't play the risk in the first place. Women crave for equality, but then when equality comes in unfavorable ways, they whine and complain.
She was in the wrong, not you. Your mistake was trying to explain yourself to her, showing your guilt. Through this, you gave her your power, and she bent you over and PIITB
There's a saying in french:
"Celui qui sème le vent, récolte la tempête" (The one who sows the wind, cultivates the storm).
Basically, if she can't pay the consequences of her actions, she shouldn't play the risk in the first place. Women crave for equality, but then when equality comes in unfavorable ways, they whine and complain.
She was in the wrong, not you. Your mistake was trying to explain yourself to her, showing your guilt. Through this, you gave her your power, and she bent you over and PIITB
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.