I screwed up by going too fast, she went cold

[personal02]

Experts,
Disclaimer - I'm a newbie, please go easy on me because i made obvious mistakes.

So up until now i was only focused on my career which is all amazing with rapid growth, money etc. I dated a few girls casually, and my last relationship ended about a year ago (serious from girl's side but not from my end). Single since then.

My job requires frequent traveling, I met a group at my recent client locations and became friends with them instantly. A girl in this group (very attractive) seemed interested and charmed me while we went on a couple of outings with the group. Her friends told me she was totally different when i was around, and i saw all the "she's interested" signs. So I asked her out for coffee and she converted it to a dinner date. We met and had great time, I was super chivalrous (my nature) brought flowers, picked her up, paid for food, dropped her back home, basically treated her like a princess (my big mistake). I did NOT kiss her (my other mistake) just a hug and kiss on the cheek.

She texted me back shortly after the date asking if i had reached hotel, and then we exchange few flirty texts.

Now here is my ultimate mistake - I started picturing her as my perfect girlfriend, and how we would do long distance, stupid future planning etc. and not only this i discussed this with her over the phone after 2 days grrrr. From that point she flaked (i immediately realized my mistake but it was too late) She started avoiding meeting again, and i didn't have much time as i was traveling back soon after it. I literally forced her to meet me on the way to the airport though she said she was unwell. I brought flowers for her again and some food because she was sick and met her near her house. Wasn't a great meeting.

Next day i tried calling her, she didn't answer ..received a text shortly after the missed call statin that.."About what you said, you planned everything, i feel under pressure, suffocated, let's take things slow as friends ok?" I said OK.

After this i went back to the same client location again, texted her to which she didn't repond. She read my texts but didn't respond which upset me so i texted her a few times (another mistake) at this point i was looking weak, depserate and needy. Asked her to meet me and she refused saying that i was too rude to her (off course i was).

From that point (i sent the last text) she has not responded, it's been 5 days. I think she is gone, but i'm so much into her (god knows why, because we hardly spent time together) keep thinking about her. I think it's over.

I need to understand the dating game, please advise..this is way too complicated than my work or anything else.

 

[teebear]

Needy behaviour is a turn-off whether it is demonstrated by a man or a woman. You want to feel like your partner brings value your life, not like you "rescued" them from something. This is especially true of women.

Here's the good news. You attracted someone with the qualities that you value. It's not an isolated incident - it can happen over and over again and will, if you let it.

Learn from your mistake and keep moving forward.

 

[personal02]

Needy behaviour is a turn-off whether it is demonstrated by a man or a woman. You want to feel like your partner brings value your life, not like you "rescued" them from something. This is especially true of women.

Here's the good news. You attracted someone with the qualities that you value. It's not an isolated incident - it can happen over and over again and will, if you let it.

Learn from your mistake and keep moving forward.

Thanks teebear...
I believe i have what it takes, i wont repeat these stupid mistakes next time. No offense but you can never be straight forward with them, always have to play games and beat them. I'm already in pursuit of another bird, let's hope it works this time.

 

[sodbuster]

Women are alot like cats. IF you chase them too hard, they run. When I sit down at my ex wifes house for a meeting, I ignore her cat, because I'm allergic to them.... the d@mn thing will jump up in my lap.

You SHOULD have made her work for it {relationship}, instead of having plans and telling her, tell her "you are the kind of girl I may be interested in dating,, let's date a bit and see where it goes." NEVER talk too much, leave her wanting MORE. You CAN open up a bit, but make her pry it out of you.

Which car do you treasure more, the one you got for free when you win it, or the car you've had to work like a dog to save money for?

IF you went a bit fast sexually and did her that night, THAT is more excusable than talking too much.....

 

[Tictac]

You didn't go to fast.

You did it ALL wrong.

Flowers?

Not for nothing, you shouldn't ever think of 'perfect girlfriend', future planning... much less bring it up to her until you've been banging her silly for quite a while IF EVER.

 

[personal02]

You didn't go to fast.

You did it ALL wrong.

Flowers?

Not for nothing, you shouldn't ever think of 'perfect girlfriend', future planning... much less bring it up to her until you've been banging her silly for quite a while IF EVER.

Yes, tictac...I'm a fool, didn't realize how stupid that was. Flowers and stuff worked my during college, not anymore i guess. Thinking like a gentleman is stupid, no disrespect to girls but i have learned my lesson, you have to be a beast, that's the only way they will respect you.

 

[personal02]

Women are alot like cats. IF you chase them too hard, they run. When I sit down at my ex wifes house for a meeting, I ignore her cat, because I'm allergic to them.... the d@mn thing will jump up in my lap.

You SHOULD have made her work for it {relationship}, instead of having plans and telling her, tell her "you are the kind of girl I may be interested in dating,, let's date a bit and see where it goes." NEVER talk too much, leave her wanting MORE. You CAN open up a bit, but make her pry it out of you.

Which car do you treasure more, the one you got for free when you win it, or the car you've had to work like a dog to save money for?

IF you went a bit fast sexually and did her that night, THAT is more excusable than talking too much.....

Sorry to admit but i didn't have confidence to make any physical move that night after the date. I'm reading MB, and it's helping..I shall make those moves soon. I have a couple of birds i'm chatting with currently. Applying all the tactics from the book and seems like they are working

 

[teebear]

Women are alot like cats. IF you chase them too hard, they run. When I sit down at my ex wifes house for a meeting, I ignore her cat, because I'm allergic to them.... the d@mn thing will jump up in my lap.

Funny - I was going to use the cat analogy too. It's very true. It really does help to think of women as cats.

 

[personal02]

Guys,
I have been reading MB, and it's awesome. It's exactly what i needed to learn, I haven't yet finished it though but already scored.
Just started a random convo with a girl at SF airport while returning from my trip to MN and it clicked. We spoke for about 20 minutes and then i asked her to put her number in my phone and she did it right away.

I'm not sure how it's going to go with her but at least i have reached stage 1, i'm going to call her and ask out for a coffee or something, any suggestions? i don't want to screw this up like last time??

 

[latinnova]

Guys,
I have been reading MB, and it's awesome. It's exactly what i needed to learn, I haven't yet finished it though but already scored.
Just started a random convo with a girl at SF airport while returning from my trip to MN and it clicked. We spoke for about 20 minutes and then i asked her to put her number in my phone and she did it right away.

I'm not sure how it's going to go with her but at least i have reached stage 1, i'm going to call her and ask out for a coffee or something, any suggestions? i don't want to screw this up like last time??

Sure, just enjoy it. If things don't click then no worries, you have tons more women to get with. Be confident in knowing the fact that there are an infinite amount of opportunities that lie ahead. If she doesn't work out just think of it as you have filtered out another person in the search to finding a decent one, not the perfect one, that does not exist. The abundance theory is real. I'm to the point now where I don't have time for games, if the chick isn't interested Latinnova is out. Interestingly enough I have found this gets them all hot, bothered, and wet, them knowing you can just move on and not care. A lot of the time you will get a call within a week asking where you have been, and it can lead to you getting some pvssy that night.

 

[Partizan]

We've all been there at one point. Don't beat yourself up too much over it. Just learn from it and move on which is basically what you're doing.