I really want a relationship.

[lakeshore]

Twenty-five and I've never been in a LTR. Sucks.

It just seems like other people hook up and are in relationships very quickly, and whenever I meet a girl it seems like getting her interest up to relationship level never happens. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. How can other people meet and practically start living together after a month (I don't want to do that), but with me, it seems like no girl wants to commit to me?

I don't have a problem seeing a girl and hooking up sexually with her. But I guess I'm missing the qualities that girls seek in a boyfriend.

I make 55k/year (not including OT), I have my own place and car, a 7/10 in the looks department, smart, and funny. SOMEBODY out there must be interested in being my girlfriend.

WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?

Dude, this post really hit home for me. I really do feel your frustration. I to have no problems getting laid as I meet various girls in various circumstances. Getting into an actual relationship has been elusive. I would describe myself similar to you, smart, funny, sexual, decent looking..wtf!

I may sound like a girl but ONS's are lame and have gotten old. I have no interest in them anymore.

Whats most frustrating is when a girl shows you ALL the right signs into really digging you and then poof, nothing develops. So annoying.

Meanwhile I see avg dudes in relationships with decent chics and just don't get it.

 

[AlmostThere!]

Dude, this post really hit home for me. I really do feel your frustration. I to have no problems getting laid as I meet various girls in various circumstances. Getting into an actual relationship has been elusive. I would describe myself similar to you, smart, funny, sexual, decent looking..wtf!

I may sound like a girl but ONS's are lame and have gotten old. I have no interest in them anymore.

Whats most frustrating is when a girl shows you ALL the right signs into really digging you and then poof, nothing develops. So annoying.

Meanwhile I see avg dudes in relationships with decent chics and just don't get it.

I'm not alone.

The girl I'm seeing now seems open to a relationship, but I'm not gonna sweat. I've been there before and it fizzled out.

 

[csourcelover]

i was just like you until a couple of months ago.

i just had a little bit of fake confidence and kept on telling myself i was a prince, and when i walked into the room i kept my head held high, shoulders relaxed, back straight with a huge smile on my face and i just got into the habit of constantly doing that.

and everyone is right, she's not the prize, YOU ARE the prize. get that into your head and you will have no problems finding a relationship.

 

[lakeshore]

i was just like you until a couple of months ago.

i just had a little bit of fake confidence and kept on telling myself i was a prince, and when i walked into the room i kept my head held high, shoulders relaxed, back straight with a huge smile on my face and i just got into the habit of constantly doing that.

and everyone is right, she's not the prize, YOU ARE the prize. get that into your head and you will have no problems finding a relationship.

Good stuff. You gotta make it a habit.

 

[AlmostThere!]

i was just like you until a couple of months ago.

i just had a little bit of fake confidence and kept on telling myself i was a prince, and when i walked into the room i kept my head held high, shoulders relaxed, back straight with a huge smile on my face and i just got into the habit of constantly doing that.

and everyone is right, she's not the prize, YOU ARE the prize. get that into your head and you will have no problems finding a relationship.

It's not that easy. There's something about the guys that can get into a relationship with a woman easily and I will find out what that is. If a man working a McDonald's can be in a LTR, then I damn sure can.

 

[AAAgent]

Is your problem just finding a relationship? If that is the problem then it's either one of these two things.

1.) You like the girl but she doesn't like you back or

2.) She likes you and you don't like her back.

It's that simple.

If your problem isn't getting a relationship but more some keeping it flowing, then you're going to need a lot of work. Getting a girl to like or fall in love with you isn't all that hard, it's maintaining that level of interest that's the hard part.

So what exactly is your problem, finding a relationship or keeping one?

 

[lakeshore]

It's not that easy. There's something about the guys that can get into a relationship with a woman easily and I will find out what that is. If a man working a McDonald's can be in a LTR, then I damn sure can.

I do hear what you're saying in that I feel like there is just a certain something that is preventing me from connecting on a deeper level. Like, I am at some level repelling people. Not sure. What the hell is it? Something is missing damn it.

One flaw I am aware of regarding myself is that I have a hard time being serious with people. Even with guy friends,
I can't have a serious conversation without resorting to humor and just making it a laugh fest. This hurts me in just
connecting with general friends also. Maybe its a sincerity thing. IDK. But then again, we're not supposed to be that
way with girls we recently met.

 

[Weezy]

Read the book "The System" by Doc Love.

It's all in there, you can get any chick that likes you into an LTR if you know what you're doing.

If you use your DJ skills to attract them enough that they wanna go on a date with ya, you're solid.

getting into an LTR is running a marathon, it's not a sprint like pullin a chick and then slammin her a few times.

 

[AlmostThere!]

So what exactly is your problem, finding a relationship or keeping one?

Finding and keeping, I guess. I've had short-term relationships where the girl and I go out several times and chat on the phone. But it never lead to anything substantial. And I'm not sure where to meet girls on a regular basis. I don't like cold approaches because you don't know what's going on in a person's life. It takes a lot of effort (with minimal return) talking to a complete stranger.

I think that my best bet is to have tons of friends. Although I'm an introvert and don't like being around a lot of people, this is the only way to fix my problem. I know guys many times get their girlfriends through their social circles. But since I'm an introvert and never really tried hard at making friends, this is another hurdle for me to overcome. I wish that I was in college because I could just join clubs and walk around campus.

 

[Warrior74]

if you have a good friend..ask them for their honest opinion. Your friends generally know what your faults are, they just don't tell you because they don't want to hurt your feelings.

 

[AAAgent]

It seems like your main problem is finding a relationship which entails building attraction and getting someone interested in you. The easiest way to finding a girl of any type whether it be Fvckbuddy, ONS, or GF is to play the numbers game.

By hitting as many girls as you can, you learn alot faster from your mistakes. Before you can master the relationship aspect between the man and a woman you need to master the pick-up part. You can't have a relationship by yourself, you need a female on the other end to make it a relationship. So instead of working on finding a girlfriend work on just getting girls interested in you. Once that get's more simple and you understand what you're doing, start to build attraction and IOI(increase of interest), and then you can head into a relationship.

All you're really doing right now is limiting your chances of even finding a girl. Saying you don't like or do cold approaches and how you only want to talk to chicks in your social circle is limiting the amount of women you meet.

Do everything you can to optimize your chances. Well atleast try to.
Try cold approaches.
Talk to people outside your social circle.
Make more friends.
Talk to guys, girls, old people, young people, basically talk to everyone.

Opening up your network gives you many more opportunities.

Remember if you want girls to come to you or atleast give you a chance you need to give them a reason for those things.

Always dress nice, be presentable, positive attitude, and never show desperation.

If you are interested in looking for some topics about relationships here are some threads.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=158774

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=166561

Girls want a guy that's the whole package and they basically see you how you and other people see YOU. They want to be with someone that is going places, doing things, and most of all believes that he is capable of all that and more. No one will want to be with you if YOU don't even want to be with you.

Take things like "I want" out of your mind and in place of it put "I'm going to get".

Go get what you want and work on being happy with who you are currently. Everything else really will fall into place.

 

[GameTime76]

You should read a post by Pook. Called, Feeling down about your love life. Its in the DJ Bible under Up-Lifting Material I think.