I really need help with my problem.

[dj_jazzybrad]

I'll try to make this short. I grew up in a fundamentalist, far-right Christian family. I love my parents, nothing wrong with the way I was raised; its just not for me. So as you can imagine it was always taught that I would abstain from sex until marriage. I'm a freshman in college. I have had MANY opportunities to have sex with some very attractive girls, but I have always turned it down. Sex just holds zero appeal to me. I'm still a virgin; I like making out, oral, everything except sex. Its getting to the point where I feel really bad not going further after a lot of foreplay with a girl, and im starting to get self conscious about it.

tl;dr: I don't desire sex at all, I feel bad letting girls down, is something wrong with me?

 

[WaterTiger]

If you're comparing yourself to a monk, no, nothing wrong with you at all.

If you compare yourself to the guys HERE....yeah! BIG problem.

You might be happy munching on peanut butter sandwiches and telling your pals :"No, I don't want any ribeye steak. I've no desire to eat it. I'll wait till I'm older to eat that.":nono:

It's because you've only eaten peanut butter and have no idea what a fine cut of steak tastes like. Once you have the steak, peanut butter will never make you happy again.:rock:

So if you REALLY want to wait till you get married, then wait. But there's no going back once the deed is done.

 

[Da Realist]

If you've gotten oral, you've had sex already, so the virgin thing is out the window. The thing your having problems with is either doing what you've been raised to do or striking out on your own. The truth is that you should make a choice and man up either way. I'm not ging to encourage you to go one way or the other because truthfully sex outside of marrige can put you in some messed up situations if you're not up to the challenge. There is nothing scarier than a condom breaking and a women saying she is going to keep the kid whether you like it or not.

The truth is though if you're going to have sex, you need to make it so you can manage what ever happens. It's a great feeling, but you're going to have to take responsibility for what comes )) of it. If you're not going to do it, it is a lot better to stop get those bj's because all it's going to do is make you want to do more when you're already driving yourself crazy thinking about this stuff. Either way, choose your path and be man enough to stick to it.

 

[dj_jazzybrad]

Thanks for the replies. It's not that I'm OPPOSED to sex; so its not like I want to wait until marriage. It's just that I have no DESIRE to have sex. But I think WaterTiger's analogy hit the nail on the head. I'll give it some more thought and see what the fvck is up.

 

[thefonz]

Sex just holds zero appeal to me..... I'm still a virginI like making out, oral, everything except sex......I don't desire sex at all[\QUOTE]

I will NEVER understand this way of thinking. It must be a religious thing

 

[dj_jazzybrad]

Sex just holds zero appeal to me..... I'm still a virginI like making out, oral, everything except sex......I don't desire sex at all[\QUOTE]

I will NEVER understand this way of thinking. It must be a religious thing

I don't understand it either. It's not like I WANT to not desire sex... it's just hard to explain. Basically, it's not my mindset, its a subconscious thing that I can't control.

 

[SamePendo]

Read chapter 11, on sexual transmutation. Why not use this to your advantage and not let your life slip away because you were busy thinking about sex and chicks and that stuff.

 

[Masked_angel]

I'll try to make this short. I grew up in a fundamentalist, far-right Christian family. I love my parents, nothing wrong with the way I was raised; its just not for me. So as you can imagine it was always taught that I would abstain from sex until marriage. I'm a freshman in college. I have had MANY opportunities to have sex with some very attractive girls, but I have always turned it down. Sex just holds zero appeal to me. I'm still a virgin; I like making out, oral, everything except sex. Its getting to the point where I feel really bad not going further after a lot of foreplay with a girl, and im starting to get self conscious about it.

tl;dr: I don't desire sex at all, I feel bad letting girls down, is something wrong with me?

I am the same way. Dude having sex isn't success. Having opportunities are! Be proud of yourself! No need of feel bad. Nothing is wrong about you.