I really need a day off (vent)

[backbreaker]

I'm just venting more than anything but man this is becoming a real problem.


I mean, you have to understand in my line of work.. you know you see those commercials late at night where they romanticize working from home. There is this dude with a Hawaiian shirt talking on a cell phone outside and it's like 11am i the morning and the kids come and say hey we want to go play and the dad is like **** it i'm done "working" for the day lol.


real life working from home is nothing like that. It's even worse when it's your company. That is magnified even more when you are in a service oriented business such as web development and when you do the volume of work that we do now, it's always. ****ing.constant. it never stops.


even my "off days" which is typically Saturday, i get up in the morning, check my emails, answer emails, send updates to the clients that need updates to, and if there is a proposal i need to put together that came in from the previous night I do that so even though i'm off I really do about 1-2 hours worth of work. I worked until 7pm last Saturday.



And even on days where I say **** life lol i'm not doing a god damn thing for anyone, I still have to manage my programmers, show them what to do what needs to be done and that takes about an hour to do right.


My point is, my brain never stops. it's always going. I don't get to keep work at work. I don't get to come home from work and bull**** around until work the next day i'm always working.


For the most part I like this. it keeps me busy and it fits my mold. However, there are times, like now, where I really, need a ****ing break.


I remember when I had that seizure.. damn, almost 2 years ago to the day actually, and i was laied up and i came home and my wife basically took all my computer **** away from me for a week or so and would not let me work on anything. I remember when I got back to work i had never been so refreshed in my life. It wasn't the physical rest. I get physical rest. we go on vacations and **** but even then, I'm managing stuff. money never sleeps.

I need a break. a real one. not even a long one. I need basically 4-5 days where my mind is not thinking about work or anything stressful.;

So I decide okay backbraker you'r taking a break, then you have the clients "wah you can't take a break I NEED my site rite naoooo! i'm going to cry" and i basically said deal with it lol. you're either going to deal with me taking a break or i will cut you a check right now but no work is getting done until monday or i'm going to snap .


i had 2 clients, have 2 clients, that the work is too big to say **** off lol and are too urgent to where it can't wait until Monday. I had this all planned out in my head. I was going to send him their **** today and take off until Monday and come back ready to kick ass. ; Programmer decides, he's going to work on something totally different, because that's the project he likes best, even though i told him specifically to work on something else, meaning now i have to work tomorrow


I make a really good living, but that **** is earned. that **** is compensation for NEVER having off. It's compensation for having to always be the guy who takes the fall for someone else's **** up


Entrepreneurship, really is not for everyone. If you like having a kick as social life, it's probably not for you lol. If you like working 4 and a half days a week, it's probably not for you.



I'll be fine i'm just really really tired and i wish people that work for me would do what they are told.



i had a talk with my wife today and starting next week i'm going ot make myself actually take 2 real days off a week. when i had the best work / life balance i basically worked 5 days a week, i worked form monday to friday afternoon, than a little bit sunday morning and that was it. i'm easily working 6 and a half days a week now

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I know exactly how you feel. In my opinion, this is an epidemic in the U.S. far greater than a lot of people want to admit. Practically every other modern nation in the rest of the world, 1 month of leave time per year or more is standard but we're still stuck on the 2 weeks for new folks.

In my mid 20s I realized I value my personal time off more than making more money. I'd rather receive the typical 3-5% annual raises rather than making a big promotion to some senior manager spot. So at some point in your life you have to decide to be in charge of your life again, in a sense. I understand a lot of people have obligations at work...I get called on occasion also if some system breaks. But I've played that game before and told them I'm not giving them my personal cell number, I only gave them my landline. Guess what? I'm not always home. No Blackberry either, no text messaging, none of that ****. They didn't want to pay for it so why should I willingly use my personal property that I pay for myself for their benefit?

Now if they provide it, yes it's a different story and then you have to decide if that's the job you want since it's one of the responsibilities.

Have you noticed these days in this country a whole lot of value is placed on top notch customer service at practically every company? Well they like to say it's their number 1 priority but reality is often different. The thing is, these managers and VPs who emphasize this corporate jargon usually aren't on the front lines and don't study management practices from, say, the 1950s-1960s. One key thing I've taken from that is that no, the customer isn't always right. In fact, there are plenty of times where the customer is simply an ******* and it can be beneficial to cut them loose. But no, you'll never hear anyone in senior management say that to the worker bees.

So everyone gets to suffer because management doesn't want to put any effort into the problem.

 

[Desdinova]

And that's why I don't run my own business. I've finally come to terms with that. I mean, it sounds really good to have 5hitloads of cash from having your own business, but I can't work like that.

I love my ME time. I have a job that pays decent, saves me money in certain aspects of my personal life, and it gives me a lot of "ME" time. Some days, I work 4 hours and get paid for a full day. I'm going to be up to 5 weeks of holidays in 4 years. I get boat loads of sick time to use. And the work is usually quite easy.

This is my dream job for the simple fact that I can support myself and have lots of time to do whatever I want. It's a rarity to get all these aspects in one job, and I have no plans on quitting. Life is good!

My long term plan is when I inherit my parents' house, I'm gonna sell it, pay mine off, hire a guy to renovate it, and then hire a fvcking maid to do all my boring chores. The bottom line? More ME time.

But enough about me... BB, take a goddam week off. Shut your cell phone off. Unplug your computer. Money ain't no good unless you can enjoy it once in a while. Your company won't sink from taking a week for yourself.

 

[backbreaker]

your name is all. there are times where I know the customer is full of it but i have no choice but to cave in. It's not worth winning the battle. I had a client not that long ago basically steal a website and paid for it, and because her credit card compay would not approve a merchant account demended that we give her a full refund. You kno wwhat? i did it. $2100 dollars. Beucase 2100 dollars is not worth her going on a rampage on the internet telling everyone she got "ripped off". It's a business expense, I'lll get it back on my taxes, not the end of hte world.


I don't so much care about my personal time lol, I mean I like personal time but i'm not one that... you know you have people who work so that they can go home and have a life, and you have people who go home so they can rest and go back tow ork. I'm the type of guy who rests so he can go back to work the next day. But even that saying, I still need days where I don't have anything to do with work.


lol I'm still working. on my day off. but tomorrow seriously i'm going to check my email in the morning as i Have something urgent to give to a client and everyone is going to hell. The dude that bull****ted me today the programmer he got fired as well. I'm done babying ignorant programmers who can't follow directions. I'm too nice in that regard.

 

[Bible_Belt]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWKS-XaBsxY

 

[VladPatton]

I run my own business, too. Clients are both a blessing and a curse, so you need to set aside time for yourself, because your clients can and will work you to a pile of hot ashes. Then they just move on to a different company providing the same service as you. They don't give a fück about your mental state, your physical state or your family. Guaranteed.

So, at one point you have to draw the line, chill out with no emails, no replies and no services, or you're just toast. All you need is 7-10 days. You're the boss, right? Well then make it happen. No one is going to do it for you. And if you absolutely can't afford it, then you have to examine the inner workings of your business and see what's wrong.

Good luck.

 

[guru1000]

Work hard; retire young. F*k the rest

 

[logicallefty]

BB, take a goddam week off. Shut your cell phone off. Unplug your computer. Money ain't no good unless you can enjoy it once in a while. Your company won't sink from taking a week for yourself.

^Yes take a week off^. Or it's gonna kill you.

BB I used to be just like you. Worked 60 hours a week at one job because I wanted to get things done. Left it and walked RIGHT into another one that down right expected 70-100 hours a week. Once I was told "Don't expect to see you family too much until Project X is over".

It's only really been in the last 7-8 years that my mindset changed from "Gotta work till I drop or I might not finish everything and loose my job" to "Gotta get my rest and ME time in or I am GOING to drop (dead)".

In my job now I work 40 hours, period. I'm on call 24x7x365, so I don't ever get to really fully relax cuz there is always that chance of a call. Luckly I don't get called off hours a lot, maybe once overy 2-3 weeks. Bet your a$$ I take comp time to make up for the on call time, and the net is always 40 hours.

I hope you listen to all of us and take some time for yourself. Accidently loose your phone if you have to, or go somewhere that just happens to not have coverage. Oh darn.

 

[Yo'Mama]

BB,

I'm a corporate lawyer. I make good scratch but absolutely hate my job. Actually the work is fine but I hate the daily grind and most of all being in an open plan office (bank not law firm) full of utter tools, having to listen to their woeful chat all day. I am one of the people that fantasises about working from home.

Anyway, that's not really the point. My point is from other posts I had thought you were pretty much a multimillionaire. If I had that much saved I'd never work again. I know some people say they'd get bored but I'm not one of them. I'd do stuff I really enjoy (more in the arts than business).

I guess you're passionate about your business but if you have all that cash why bother with all the stress? If I had millions I sure as hell wouldn't be taking sh*t from anyone!

 

[synergy1]

Far be it for me to comment being that I work a regular ( and easy job) - but i'll throw in my 2 cents. It sounds like you are in a constant state of fire fighting. Perhaps its time to consider an organizational structure to your business to afford delegating some of that responsibility , thus freeing you to pursue other endeavors ( such as growing the business or what have you)?

While I do not know 10% of your situation, your most recent posts here seem to suggest your life is in a precarious stressful point. You are going to have to make a change for your health, family, and most importantly, your own self.

Good luck. Your resourceful as ****, you'll figure it out.

 

[backbreaker]

Its not about the money. I truly love what I do. I truly set out goals and I am that driven to accomplish them. I'm afraid if I take a break I am giving up on my goals and dreams as.twisted as that sounds but I'm starting to realize I will never get there burned out and while I love what I do I have to take more breaks. I didnt even work my first company this much. I have a plan and over the next 3 months im going to make some changes. Starting wirg firing people i have to babysit. Thats my real issue too much dead weight

Even Michael Jordan didnr have a basketball game every day

 

[backbreaker]

:I'll say this. the misses and I had sex no less than 5 times last night. I dint know what got into me ( but I know what got into her lol) and I was perfectly fine today physically. Usually I have to ration thevsex to keep my day to day energy. I think my sex / fatigue issues were stress related. Almost like the testestorone was keeping my stress in check

 

[Atom Smasher]

I too run my own business and I found that by setting boundaries with clients and walking away from the business for recreational pursuits I was able to give 100% of myself to my business instead of the usual exhausted 70%.

The only way to sharpen the axe is to stop chopping.

 

[synergy1]

Its not about the money. I truly love what I do. I truly set out goals and I am that driven to accomplish them. I'm afraid if I take a break I am giving up on my goals and dreams as.twisted as that sounds but I'm starting to realize I will never get there burned out and while I love what I do I have to take more breaks. I didnt even work my first company this much. I have a plan and over the next 3 months im going to make some changes. Starting wirg firing people i have to babysit. Thats my real issue too much dead weight

Even Michael Jordan didnr have a basketball game every day

Yeah, the people you have on board make a big difference. Implicit trust will alleviate the babysitting you have to do. At the minimum you want people who can do the work competently. At most, you want someone who can contribute meaningfully. Ironically enough, if people are given more responsibility and put the onus on themselves to produce with the right rewards ( they don't always have to be monetary), you might actually have to manage them less actively. Therein lies the Irony - more management can be counterproductive. Put yourself in their shoes ( assuming they aren't maliciously trying to be bad at their job) - if they **** up and you have to fix it, that will kill their self esteem and stir resentment. As Dale Carnage said , Give people a change to redeem themselves.

Delegating a little more won't speak to your dedication to your business. Actually in the eyes of some venture capitalists, it shows MORE dedication.

 

[backbreaker]

Good points especially synergy I've just had such bad experiences delegating its kinda like dating I suppose you can't stop trying because you had a few. Bad experiences you have to spin more plates. Finding people I trust is, tantamount to success long term

 

[Alvafe]

I had experience with own bussiness workign at home, my dad too, you know what did happen in both cases? its 10PM at night you taking a bath and a client wanting to know something right now calls you, same for weekends and holydays, pretty much they will find you and you don't have a place to hide, so we don't work at home anymore, if at most check e-mails during weekends just to see if anything will be needed to be done on mondays mornings, but mostly I don't even look up my e-mails during weekends and holydays.

thing about you being a owner of a company having all the time is a stupid lie, you being the boss means you will have less time for you then your employers, but also you need to learn how to work smart not harder, smart saves you problems and money, harder jsut tire you out.

BB since you work with websites, don't know if you work with projects at time plus maintenance of then, but the good thing you should, like in all IT jobs, is take rests when you can, even if you are not so tired, things tend to break like hell when you are the most tired, annoyed (Murphy's Law),

One thing I do here is choose clients, we normally don't work with comerce, we tend to avoid then altogether, they are never willing to pay the price for the work and they are the ones who gives more workload to be done, most clients here are medics (btw I work on accounting, so everything related to taxes,RH, and laws), and we like to keep it like this.