"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I really have no idea how to talk to girls.. I'm too boring short FR

Xchange

Don Juan
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Something tells me the way I talk to girls is what turns them off from me... this is what basically happened today

I'm sitting studying in a secluded part of the library and a girl is there with an empty seat in between us. So anyways I study for awhile and after a bit she gets up and asks me if I can watch her stuff as she goes somewhere, I say sure. So she puts her bag on the empty desk and goes and does whatever. Well she comes back a bit later says thanks, and moves her bag back to her own desk. Anyways a bit later I then get up and go to the bathroom, and come back. When I come back I notice her jacket is off, while she had never had it off the whole time I was there before and when I arrived initially it was still on.

So I sit down and start some fluff talk

So what are you studying?
Just some pysch,
Yea I take that too
What are you studying
Some bio
*makes a face*
then i go yea its rough
im in pysch too though what yr are you? 1st?
no im in second
oh yea me too, what course is that?
personality....

I was taking the same course so we went on to talk about how the class was and whatever else, and about how the first lecture was boring and yada yada and we talked about another class we had taken a boring research design class where I tried to make fun of the teacher, I think I said something along the lines of "hes funny cuz he always tries to make jokes, but then right after just goes uhh nevermind about that tho."

Even tho i knew it was a boring topic I was trying to transition out, and I thought I was doing alright because she was preening or whatever and at least seemed somewhat interested, but she kinda kept looking like she wanted to get back to reading, so I let her and then got up and left again. I was gonna come back and be like I actually have to go, but lemme get your number so we can (study/chill sometime.. wasnt sure which one I was going to say) anyways when I got back she was talking to some other guy who had left before, but wasn't studying with her or whatever and her body was completely turned away from me like all I could see was her back because of the way she had propped her arm up on the desk and was facing away. I basically figured I fvcked up somewhere.. so I made this thread to ask you guys

where did I mess up? how would you have done it/broken the ice/gotten the number? hoooowww do i become funnier and keep girls interested in convo... i hate talking to girls about books, but i don't know what else to break the ice with.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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tobby

Don Juan
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I think you're just in one of those "weird" situations. You didn't **** up from where I see it. She just is open and wanted someone to talk to while she was talking "a breaK" from studying.

You see she also randomly chatted with another guy in the library. Girls are just like that all the time. You can't read them most of the time, so you either make your move or you don't.
 

penkitten

Master Don Juan
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tobby is right, we do talk all the time. some of us (me included ) will talk to anything that listens.
luke was right when he said to make conversation funny , because some of us go gah gah over a guy that can keep us laughing.
 

Rex Man

Master Don Juan
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Yeah, you gotta keep her on her toes; heres how you coulda added some flavor to the convo.

Xchange:So, what are you studying?
HB: Just some psych.
X:Yeah, I take that too. Damn, I got a serious boner
HB: What??
X: Nothing.
HB......So, what are you studying?
X:Some Bio
*HB makes a face*
X: Don't you ever make that face again, you fvcking slutbucket.
HB: What did you just say?!?!
X: I SAID why don't you and me hit the bathroom so I can drop this off in your drawers!!!

I'm sure you can handle it from here. :up:

Now that's EXCITING!

You don't have to thank me bro. ;)
 

rrrrr

Senior Don Juan
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First of all, she did not give any input, just answered your questions, this makes it harder, second, yes, I think you need to practice ****y funny. This will actually make her want to talk to you if you make her laugh.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Thomas94305

Senior Don Juan
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I'd borrow some stuff from Juggler. When you initiate a conversation, be ready to carry about 90% of it. Why? Well, you are feeling comfortable to talk, but she is feeling a little anxious to open up at first. You need to get her through the "state change" (Juggler's phrase) from nervous to relaxed.

How to make convo like that? Ask an open ended question, but it should be a topic you can talk about. So, after her answer, you make statements about yourself, just like you do with friends. You have built in conversation engineering.. through YOUR questions, you go to topics of interest to you, stimulating, and that you can talk a lot about.

you:What are you studying? (that's really a close ended question, as it just elicits a one word answer).
HB: Psych
you: ya, me too. I really like explaining how people work. I mean, we're sometimes so unpredictable. Seeing the stuff going on, the internal drama, really changes my views. Like the other day, someone did.. blah blah blah.. And I though, man, he has SEVERE penis envy!
HB: OMG, ya.. or this gal did blah blah blah.. she's soooo caught up in her anal stage...

She may not open up this soon. But, she will open up earlier than before. You've lead by example, and you've given her plenty of material to work with. Point is, lead with a question, after her answer, really open up. Show her talking is the thing to do by your example. You can present another open ended question as needed, but avoid interrogating her.
 

rrrrr

Senior Don Juan
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Thanks Thomas, I'm going through the same thing, I find that when I approach women, they don't turn into rattle boxes and make it easy for me, even open ended questions are small answers. So it takes practice.
 
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