"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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I only seem to get so far...I've got a glass ceiling!

nismo-4

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Normally, I notice when I talk to a girl, she may start flirting with me and all, complete with touching, but I get rejected the moment I make a move, and the flirting comes to a screeching halt. I nowadays don't speak to a lot of girls cuz things go as I expect (even though the result is bad), meaning that:

1. I'll get turned down
2. Freeze up and walk off
3. Kill the conversation myself if it gets too awkward
5. Somehow manage to end up getting physical only to have the girl toss me aside like a smelly gym sock a day later.

Sure I get kudos for trying, but I only seem to make it easier for the next person to win the girl over. :cry:

I know I'm not a superstar right now (and I don't wanna wait for my future fame to get women), but I try what I can to understand women...seems to fail. I wonder to myself if I'm even MEANT to get an attractive woman. often times I get TOLD to talk to an attractive girl, :nervous: but I end up saying something like "I bet ya 500 dollars she got a boyfriend! She wouldn't find me interesting! What could she see in a chucklehead like me?" or "To get rejected and ridiculed in front of everybody? Hell no! If I wanted to make a comedy, I'd call NBC Executives! Often times, I spare the embarrassment by having someone else make a move and I just pray that they lose so I have a better chance of winning. It ain't much, but...

It seems I can't get past being friends even though I kino and keep my hygeine up! Any suggestions?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Beyond_AFC

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When you expect rejection, that's exactly what you get. Try caring less.
 

Don Juanabbe

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That's a very good answer. You sound almost exactly like I used to be nismo, and when you worry about it too much, your timing is off and you inevitably make mistakes. I still relapse into that on occasion.

Think about all the times that you've been successful with a woman - it was easy right? It all came easy, didn't it? It literally is like getting comfortable riding a bike or learning to ski right off the bat. I still screw up from time to time. Fairly often actually. That's mostly because of lack of practice on my part. But there's no substitute for truly not giving a ****. Frame is so important in everything you do.
 

nismo-4

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Powerful stuff, Beyond afc. 'Preciate that much! No wonder how come I was f**kin' up like I was...I was making the most unusual mistakes! Thanks again, guys!
 
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