Wiggadude, listen, I understand your problem. I'm the same way. The DJ rule you are breaking here is this one: "protect your heart". That's right. It's not that you don't find these girls attractive, it's just that you are one of these guys who gets smitten very easily and falls in love. It then takes you those five fvcking years to properly get over it! And when your mind is properly clean again, then suddenly you find the new one to fall for. It's not because you finally found someone attractive enough. It's because a change took place inside you: you no longer have a broken heart over the last one. FIve years is a long time. You might think you're over it long before that, but there are lingering effects. You still carry that idealized image of the girl in your mind, and compare every girl to her. No real girl makes you feel like that idealized image and so you think they are not attractive. But in truth, the girl who started it doesn't really fit the idealized image either.
You see, Wiggadude, statistically, if an attractive girl came at about a rate of one every five years, then it wouldn' t be exactly five years in between these girls. The encounters with these girls would not be that evenly distributed into the years: think about it. Moreover, you could speed up finding that girl by meeting a lot of them, to make it take less than five years. So the problem is not at all that you find only a small fraction attractive. In fact when you get properly over your hurt, you find quite a big fraction attractive and that's how you end up doing it again.
So what you have to do is break out of your pattern and start following the "protect your heart" rule. You can do it; you have control over your emotions. Don't let yourself slip into that state. Try to have a fling with a girl and don't fall in love with her. (You basically did that, but it was during one of these five year periods).
Draw on your experience to make you stronger. For instance, if you find yourself leaning toward being clingy with a girl, think about the time when you carried the ideal image of The One girl in your mind and as a result you weren't desperate or clingy for any real girl. Try to have that ideal image, but in a healthy way, not an obsessive way. The DJ should carry an ideal image in his mind, but it shouldn't be a religious icon.
I think there is a link between religious fervor and this type of unreturned loving. In the human mind there seems to be a need for worshipping deities and some people turn that into obsessive loving. Christians say that love God, but God never makes any contact with them (existence discussions aside). They see God's influence into everything and presence everywhere. When you love these girls in that way, they became like that God. You have no contact, and yet you see their influence everywhere in your life, and every night you pray to them, etc.
Ditch the girl religion, man.
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