I need your input on this pleass

[Stephen89]

You guys say to ignore them the uncles mainly and some aunts who ostracise, do not wish to acknowledge me and give me the support and appreciation for years and also put me down, comdense, gaslight and manipulate me, bad mouth me behind my back.

They think I'm nothing.

And you guys did say to cut them off.

Unfortunately they'll never acknowledge it or me.

They just want to overpower and control me to use me as a scapegoat, black sheep to cover their insecurities, problems and for their own pride. And not be below the pecking order. They wish for me to fail. Use me as a scapegoat.

I think they know I proved them wrong and they refuse to acknowledge anything positive about me and life.

They will try to control and manipulate me for marriage, they'll conspire and interfere.

It is very sad how they treated me and be very rude and cruel.

 

[Billtx49]

You guys say to ignore them

They think I'm nothing.

And you guys did say to cut them off.

they'll

They

their

They

they

they

They

they'll

they

Refer to our advice about ignore…
It’s a simple concept, implement it.

 

[Serenity]

Unfortunately they'll never acknowledge it or me

As long as you desire validation from them they'll have power over you. Hence you should cut them off, ignore them and do what you want to do. Don't respond to their negativity at all, it should be like they're talking to a brick wall. Defy them, when they tell you what to do that you don't want to do then go ahead and don't do it, do the opposite or do something else entirely. Defiance by action is like giving a huge middle finger to them. Enjoy the frustration that ensues when they realize how powerless they are to affect you.

Don't compete, you'll only be playing their game on their terms. Reject the rules and substitute your own.

I've been a rebellious a$$hole for large parts of my life, I know this works. The more mad at you they become, the more you're winning. Anger is expensive in terms of energy, make sure they waste more energy than you.

Adopt the mindset that no matter how much they try to control and manipulate, you don't have literal strings attached to your limbs. Their words cannot make you physically move to perform the actions they desire unless you allow it. You can stop answering texts or calls, no matter the content. You can put one leg in front of the other and physically move away from them if they're physically present.

It's your choice. If you blame them and try to change them (gain their approval) you're giving away your power, let them be the horrible people that they are, let it not affect you and do what's good for you.

 

[zekko]

And you guys did say to cut them off.

Unfortunately they'll never acknowledge it or me.

They just want to overpower and control me to use me as a scapegoat, black sheep to cover their insecurities, problems and for their own pride. And not be below the pecking order. They wish for me to fail. Use me as a scapegoat.

I think they know I proved them wrong and they refuse to acknowledge anything positive about me and life.

Advice to cut them off is for you, not for them. You don't cut them off so that they will change their mind about you. You cut them off because they are a negative influence on your life and for your own peace of mind and success.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Welcome to the club. I've been there and the advice you are given here is probably the most healthy choice.
Will you miss them? Sure. Will you feel doubts? Probably so. Is it worth the trade-off of finally getting out of this unhealthy loop? It sure was for me.

Dynamics seem to have this strange pattern.
In school, there's always a class clown.
Growing up, there's always a bully.
In a neighborhood, there's always that 'one family' that's a little different.
And.. in every family, there's always that 'one' that is a target.

I think it's just human nature that we want approval and acceptance from our surrounding family. I sure did.
Personally, I got tired of the defeat. I had a great friend base and so I knew that I was functioning normal and 'it wasn't me.'
I attended family funerals out of respect, but no longer felt obliged to join in family situations that would prove no good.

Sorry to read that you are experiencing this. I healed decades ago, but I remember very well the dilemma that you are currently experiencing.

Good luck.