"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I need to improve myself

Jokerlsk

Master Don Juan
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I'm young, but i know i've got a lot of things to work on. I'm cynical, judgemental, arrogant, competitive, malicious, and jealous. Just to name a few bad qualities. I always feel like i have to validate myself, or prove myself because i'm not comfortable with the way i am, and that's my biggest flaw. I'm introverted, but it's weird because i prefer it that way. I have a few good friends, and a lot of other people i just talk to at school. I get along with guys a lot easier than with girls and it's because i'm not comfortable with girls. I don't know how to handle them, and it's made me resent them. I've got a lot of qualities that only my family and best friends know about because i don't know how to let people see my upside instead of the negatives. When i first meet someone i subcontiously judge whether they're worthy of me, or if i'm worthy of them which is something i have to fix if i'm going to be a successful person. There are some people i feel like i can't compete with and i've tried to fix this, but sometimes it gets the best of me. When i talk to girls it's only brief because i ask myself, "Why would they want to talk to me?" when the dj mindset should be "why should i talk to them?" I constantly get judged as the smart kid, but i'm not put in the nerd category. I don't have a problem pinpointing my problems, but i do have a problem fixing them. I can tell myself something and i won't do it because i'm weak. You know, my dad taught me when i was little what a man is, and i'm constantly reminded how much of a boy i still am. I don't go drinking, smoking, or to parties. I'm a good kid, and i obey and respect my parents. But i can't be myself with some people. Particularly girls. I grew up having a best friend who was and still is better than me at everything, and we hardly speak now. I feel like i'm so introverted that people are intimidated by me. Like there's a brick wall separating me from other people. For example, I can write really deep, well thought out, poems or songs, and not many people thought i could before this year on a few assignments. I'm ashamed of my gifts because i wish i could trade them for something else. There are just a lot of things i want to fix. If you guys have any advice i'd be happy to hear it
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Desert Fox

Master Don Juan
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http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=154195

That's how. I have the same problem as you and yes I've fvcked up many times over the same fvcking mistakes...I am egotistical, narcisstic, low self esteem, not even good looking. But I am going to change and I will never giveu p. I know there is more to this life than me just going day in day out at half my maximum potential.
 

Igetit!

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What's up man? Haven't seen you on the boards in a while.

So,you say you need to improve yourself. My first question would be what made you come to this conclusion? Why "now"? What happened?

Actually,this should be a goal for EVERYONE. Nevertheless,your first step should be to accept yourself just like you are,imperfections and all. Improving yourself is an ongoing process. In other words,as long as you're alive,you'll ALWAYS have a higher level to reach for,a better person to become. There's no advice anyone here,or anywhere can give to you that you can take that'll make you say one day,"Ah,finally. I've gotten rid of all my problems and personality flaws. I'm perfect now". That's not going to happen in the future,and it DEFINATELY won't happen right now at 16/17 years of age. You're ALREADY ahead of most people. At least you have a knowledge and a awareness of some of your shortcomings. That in itself is already a first step. One thing you can do is realize that everyone on this planet is equal,in that they're unique,there's only one of them. In that respect,no one is better than anyone else. And everyone deserves respect,from the president right down to the homeless alcoholic who lives in the streets. You know why? Because you could easily find yourself in either one of those situations. You're not so high and mighty that you couldn't end up homeless,and you're not so low,worthless,and beneath people that you couldn't grow up to become president.

This applies to everybody,including YOU. That should help you to not look down on other people,but also to not think that other people are so above you,that you're intimidated and think you're somehow inferior to them,because you're not.

Anyway man,that's my 2 cents. If you really need some advice on improving yourself,you know who to go to....the man,Interceptor himself.
Heck,even I've learned a thing or two from his posts.

Anyway,good luck man.
 
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