I need to become a DJ again... what happend? (long)

[xomel]

Relationships really can kill the DJ inside of you. Before coming to the DJ forums as a highschool student almost 3 years ago, I never kissed a girl. After about 3 months of being here I developed some game, I started talking to girls more than ever, getting interest from girls more than ever. After five months of frequenting the DJ forum I made out for the first time, the next week I made out with a different girl, and the following week another girl. The next week I got my first blow job,

After dumping all of those girls I got my first girlfriend, after losing my virginity I put an end to my quest as a DJ. (keeping in mind I went through 3-4 different girls in just a period of a month all without the aid of any drugs or alcohol) I gave up being swave and totally gave into being a nice guy. A year later after 12 months of an honest relationship (on my part) she cheated on me, I broke up with her and since then (It's been a year) I haven't gotten with a girl I've liked.

I've gotten flings, but I backed out because the girls weren't up to the physical standards of my last girlfriend. I've gotten chances with alcohol, but I find it even harder to make the move when I'm drunk just because I get so lazy. Both chances with alcohol involved, the girls have turned out to become my friends and then I just see how problematic they are and I want to get the **** away from that, and never consider them an option again.

I don't want to start out a relationship with a night of drinking, but it seems thats how all of my friends are getting some. Do I have to resort to that?

There was once a time that I was rolling(on ecstasy) with a girl and two of our friends (a total of two girls and two guys) and we were cuddling, talking, flirting and she said "When I'm rolling im down to do anything." I really liked the girl, probably more so than any other girl I met in the last year but I liked her so much I couldn't bring myself to make a move on her while she was ****ed up, because I would feel like I was taking advantage of her? Did the nice guy inside me get the better of me?

Really now, I just want to find that Don Juan that i was once before I had a girlfriend. Whats wrong with me? I did gain a little weight 5'11/180lbs to 6'0 205lbs but it isnt THAT much, is it?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Relationships really can kill the DJ inside of you...

Not true. If it were truly a part of you, there would be nothing to lose. There's a difference between being a DJ and acting like a DJ.

Brush up on the DJB before believing that you need to act like your friends that aren't quite DJs. Understand that it's not parlor tricks or memorized lines that make you a DJ, it's attitude and understanding.

 

[Phyzzle]

There was once a time that I was rolling(on ecstasy) . . . I liked her so much I couldn't bring myself to make a move on her while she was ****ed up, because I would feel like I was taking advantage of her? Did the nice guy inside me get the better of me?

No matter: most guys can't get it up when amphetamine-based chemicals are afoot.

Therefore, roll for the sake of rolling. Besides, there is something sad about a guy who can't muster the confidence to make a move when he's sober.

But I know what you mean. I do know at least 2 relationships that formed when the guy went caveman when both people were trashed. But trust me: the overwhelming majority of (decent) relationships did not begin with drunken rutting.

 

[xomel]

has anyone else been here before?? any ideas??

 

[Latinoman]

How old are you?

 

[wayword]

I gave up being swave and totally gave into being a nice guy. A year later after 12 months of an honest relationship (on my part) she cheated on me, I broke up with her

That's the problem - you wanna go legit but as you do, you can feel it backfiring with every little step...

I've learned that I have to be much more Machiavellian in reltationships, as a means to an end. I'd rather just be nice, but that just doesn't work. I'm still kinda torn on this, because I wonder if I have to play hardball with EVERY girl, or am I just meeting the wrong ones? In short, I don't want to needlessly hurt the wrong girl who doesn't deserve it. But, are there really any of those? Anyways, I will do what I have to do to keep the girl (within ethical limits).

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

That's the problem - you wanna go legit but as you do, you can feel it backfiring with every little step...

I've learned that I have to be much more Machiavellian in reltationships, as a means to an end. I'd rather just be nice, but that just doesn't work. I'm still kinda torn on this, because I wonder if I have to play hardball with EVERY girl, or am I just meeting the wrong ones? In short, I don't want to needlessly hurt the wrong girl who doesn't deserve it. But, are there really any of those? Anyways, I will do what I have to do to keep the girl (within ethical limits).

wayword, can you give me an example of how you describe being "nice" and what you do instead?

 

[wayword]

wayword, can you give me an example of how you describe being "nice" and what you do instead?

Too nice basically means oneitis and being too compliant...in short, giving her too much control. As if she's the irreplaceable Prize.

Instead would be the opposite of that - specifics would depend upon the girl and your exact relationship with her though. But in short, regaining control. Letting her know she's always replaceable and you're the Prize.

Ironically, this requires a lot of RESPECT for women. Women are easy to underestimate because they are small and cute. However, don't believe they are innocent and don't play hardball. You must respect them as worthy foes in the game of love and not be afraid to dish it out. Don't worry - they can take it, and may even need it.

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

Women are easy to underestimate because they are small and cute. However, don't believe they are innocent and don't play hardball. You must respect them as worthy foes in the game of love and not be afraid to dish it out.

wow. I never thought of that, but its so true.

 

[xomel]

i dont know how much more i need to relearn, how much better i need to get but i pretty much forgot all about being the catch, being the prize. It helps a lot. Remembering this, I got my first non-drug-related kiss in 6 months this weekend. "I'M THE PRIZE! IM THE PRIZE! YOU WORK FOR ME! I only work to show you whats NOT YOURS!"

D'OH! I can't believe i forgot all about being the prize for them to get.

As I learn more I'll post in here, I'll keep you guys updated.





I've never had problems getting dates... from here on out it should be tremendously easier for me... im tempted to call it smooth sailing... except I really dont want to make the mistake of thinking I'm an "accomplished DJ" again.

 

[comic_relief]

Not true. If it were truly a part of you, there would be nothing to lose. There's a difference between being a DJ and acting like a DJ.

Brush up on the DJB before believing that you need to act like your friends that aren't quite DJs. Understand that it's not parlor tricks or memorized lines that make you a DJ, it's attitude and understanding.

Francisco you are the man, That is so true.

I have been in a relationship with one girl for a little over a year and a month or so. I still get girls giving me their numbers. Just yesterday, I went out to go swing dance with a girl and she showed me her bed. I could have very easily bedded her, but I left her house just in case anything would have happened.

I am still a DJ and still in a relationship.

BTW Wayword, you can be nice, but yet firm. I have broke my girlfriend of that hollywood dream of a relationship. I am nice to my girlfriend but by no means will I take her sh!t. She tried to make me that gentleman, but I told her, "NO FvCKEN WAY are you changing and if you try, I am gone." She stopped that sh!t quick. You guys need to stop being pu$$y and become a DJ.

Alright, I gotta go to swing dance class (guys try taking swing because you get to hold girls tightly and you meet some new people. I could have easily gotten more girls from it :cheer: )

Comic_relief

PS. Xomel, you just made me think of how long I have been on this board too.

 

[comic_relief]

i dont know how much more i need to relearn, how much better i need to get but i pretty much forgot all about being the catch, being the prize. It helps a lot. Remembering this, I got my first non-drug-related kiss in 6 months this weekend. "I'M THE PRIZE! IM THE PRIZE! YOU WORK FOR ME! I only work to show you whats NOT YOURS!"

D'OH! I can't believe i forgot all about being the prize for them to get.

As I learn more I'll post in here, I'll keep you guys updated.





I've never had problems getting dates... from here on out it should be tremendously easier for me... im tempted to call it smooth sailing... except I really dont want to make the mistake of thinking I'm an "accomplished DJ" again.

Good, good good. Thats the friggen attitude.

Believe me, incorporate it into your life and make it you. I do it all the friggen time. I started to lose it almost, but I realized and I went back. I am the prize and she has to constantly try to keep me. Not the other way around.

good luck my friend.

don't forget it is all fun.

Comic_relief