"I need time to think"

[dbx]

So I've been dating a girl for about three months, most of the time it's great and we quite often spend whole weekends together.

The only problems that we've had have been because of me. I've been cheated on and as a result have questioned here a few times and perhaps put a little pressure on her to commit.

Over the weekend, we fell out over this and she says she needs time to think. She says she's scared about having to say the right thing all the time etc. She's going away on holiday over the weekend and says we'll speak when she gets back. Also, she said regardless of her decision, she'll see me once she's back.

I'm a bit lost. I don't know if she's trying to break up with me nicely, whether she genuinely needs to think, whether I should move on, whether I should give her space or try convince her things can be different.

I've stopped contacting her for now and don't plan to until she gets back (in about a week) - I'm hoping she'll simply get in touch when she's back or before!

What do you guys think? Have I ruined it? How should I proceed?

Thanks!

 

[In2theGame]

you should usually let them push to commit. Be a challenge. Other than that, its possible she just wanted to fcuk around on vacation without the guilt of cheating.

Sounds about right.

 

[betheman]

Sounds about right.

indeed! has a good time, new experiences, she might get back to you if its not a good time, seriously though, back right off her and do what she is doing...find another girl

 

[bigneil]

= "I need time to dink". (Not yours)

She'll come back and conveniently be a different person.

 

[comic_relief]

either game over and move on OR back the fvck off. Next time you see her, never mention what happened again.

- comic_relief

 

[dbx]

Sounds like it's game over. Unfortunately, I quite like her. Should I contact her to end it before she comes back or wait and see what happens? Sometimes they do just need time to think?

 

[switch]

^sometimes the decision is not whether to do one action or the other but TO TAKE NO ACTION AT ALL...just wait for now...
but always trust your gut...ALWAYS

 

[dbx]

It's strange that you would say to trust my gut as that's what made me question her. I feel she is holding back for some reason.

My gut feeling before reading these sites etc. was that she's trying to make me think I've lost her in order for me to change my ways. My opinion has changed only after reading other people's comments, so not sure what to think.

It's a nightmare though! Can barely function!

 

[Desdinova]

"I need time to think" is one of the standard statements a woman give a man when she has low interest in him. It's along the same lines as "I need to do things for myself", "You're like a brother to me", "I don't see you in that way" and the list goes on.

It's possible that she has a raised interest level in someone she's going to be interacting with while on holiday.

Personally, I'd cut a woman off at the sign of low interest and move on.

 

[Gro0ver]

I wouldn't jump to any conclusions unless you have good reason to do so, just give her some space, focus on your own life and see what happens when she gets back. Don't overthink it and just use the time to focus on improving you.

Perhaps this girl isn't for you if she's not making you feel secure. We all have different needs at different times in our lives, you admitted its your fault so you need to change your expectations of her or get a different girl.

From her perspective, it's not so much needing to think so much as seeing if she actually misses you when she's away. That's pretty much going to decide it. Sounds like she felt a bit suffocated recently. Try to stop yourself doing this as it shows weakness of character.

 

[dbx]

Unfortunately she is going back home to see family and friends, so doubt she will miss me too much. Think I should move on, but so difficult... Also, I do think she likes me.

Will not contact her until she contacts me, just hope I won't cause more damage doing that.

 

[GADavid]

I read this here, I think: never talk to a woman about serious things; no good can come of it. It's true, so let this "issue" go. You certainly don't want her to thinking you are needy and sat around all week thinking about her.

She's feeling pressured, so back off. It won't do damage. Pestering her to commit and being overly available will. Get busy; you don't have time to be wrapped up in chick that needs time to think, right?

 

[dbx]

So I folded and called. Completely made things worse! Absolutely fcked it! It's all but over.

Why didn't I listen!?

For anyone else going through the same situation, DO NOT CALL!

 

[Tiguere]

its ok...let yourself fail. you live and learn. delete her facebook(block her) her number email everything. dust off your fishing rod and get busy...plenty of fish left

 

[dbx]

So annoyed with myself.

Called to try force a decision so I could move on and made things so much worse. It is 99% certain that it's over, but left me with the smallest bit of hope, so I'm in the exact same position but fcked it further! I'm so whipped, it's just embarressing now!

I imagine it would take some serious Jedi mind trick to turn this around, but is there anything I can do to try turn things around?

 

[Desdinova]

is there anything I can do to try turn things around?

The best thing you can do is to leave her alone for one year or more. That is the best way to try and get back with a woman.

But here's the question... Why would you want to go back to a woman who's not all that interested in you? My ideal woman is going to shower me with attention, tell me how much she appreciates me, and fvck me like my d1ck is made of gold.

There's thousands of women out there, and there's a VERY good chance that you'll find one who is better looking, is more emotionally stable, and will appreciate being with a good man. You just need to go out there and date lots of women until you find a woman who fits that criteria.

And if you haven't done so yet, scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on "DJ Bible" and READ.