"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I need some perspectives

TheHumanist

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Should I hold my ground?

I think I'm probably making too much of it, but let see what you guys think. I'm also going probably sound painfully AFC that I have to swallow, feel free to hit me. Ok, well first for a little background, it is the same girl I mentioned in this thread. Well a month after this, she signed up for ballroom dance lessons (I been taking them for a while) to try out, she loved it and asked me if it would bother me if she bring the guy she toss our prom date over for him to take lessons too. At that moment, thinking since it would bother me and I don't like the idea of dealing with myself seeing the couple in front of me, I said it would. Afterwards it turn into a bunch of arguing and arkward silences in the long walk home saying I'm not over prom incident (I said I was earlier) and eventually I told her it bothers me not becasue I'm still angry but because I'm still bitter for I had feelings for her back then(exact words to explain was that "remember when I asked you to the movies a while go (she did said yes along with becomming a prom date too then)... I was trying to move the friendship to something more")...

Anyways thinking about it now, my stance against those two going to ballroom dancing together might be inheriently selfish. My options is to stick to telling her it bother me and not to bring him or to tell her it's ok and I won't mind (whatever it really does or not). To me I like ballroom dancing, and I don't like the possibility of being bother (stupid ons) cause I having to deal with see the couple together, but I also have to note it is selfish. It is also dishonorable to get in the way of those two and finally to let it bother me is not djish at all (despite it does).
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Michele l'Arcangelo

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oh i get it... you must cave in to NOT be selfish... even if she's being selfish.

you have the right to be selfish...

she taking you happiness away one by one (prom... now this?)... i guess since YOU want to be happy, that's selfish, right?

if you don't dislike her boyfriend (which you shouldn't... unless he's done something where you should)... tell the girl straight up "i honestly do NOT want you there."

well actually i don't know where i was going with "if you don't dislike her boyfriend"... but if i were in your shoes, i wouldn't want her there because the fact she did that to me... not because the boyfriend.

be bold. be selfish... sometimes you have to think for yourself and yourself ONLY.
 

TheHumanist

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Well I don't mind her being there, I do mind the idea of seeing her with her bf (btw, I neglected to metion, her bf goes to another school so I never have to deal with it in school... not sure if that matters, but for the sake of getting a better picture).

Umm... Anyone else want to put some two cents in? Maybe I should have used a better title, not alot of people have went in this thread.
 

Michele l'Arcangelo

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:rolleyes: okay fine change it to.

"i honestly do NOT want your boyfriend there."

now the advice is gold.

???

if you're coming here looking for the answer you want to hear... :down:
 

TheHumanist

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I'm not looking to just listen to an advice that I want to hear, I just want to hear from more then one person.

Edit: Changed the title, the current title looks like it will get nothing.
Edit: Guess I can't...
 
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"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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