"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

I need some motivation to stop being a pvssy and ask this girl at my gym out

.Paradox.

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Don't understand what's wrong with me... I've already done the hard part--talk to her and build some rapport, but I'm being a complete pvssy on the asking-her-out part.

Timeline is this:

-See her in the gym all the time. Pretty sure I've seen her checking me out too, and I KNOW her girlfriend has a crush on me.
-Sunday before last I talk to her for the first time just to build some rapport. Didn't go for a close.
-Tuesday & Thursday I saw her in the gym. Lots of playful playground-esque teasing.
-Didn't see her again till tonight when I first walked in the gym, where I poked fun at her super baggy outfit.

I was thinking the entire time, "ok, I'm going to wait until she actually does something (workout) and I'm just going to go right up to her and say we should go out saturday."

Buuuuut she never did. She literally just talked to different people the entire time and was never alone or worked out. Maybe this is dumb, but I wasn't trying to ask her out in front of people we know, because I know that can be awkward for a chick.

At the end part of my workout she was just talking to this dude who works at the gym. For like 30+ minutes. Then she was gone. Don't know if he got her number or they're just friends or what. She's always talking to these people who work at the gym. If you're wondering, I'm older (26), taller, and all around better looking than the guy (not bragging, I'm just saying on PHYSICAL LOOKS I'm more attractive than him before you all stick on this part).

Still planning on asking her out when I get the "chance", but that's the thing, I'm over-analyzing the HELL out of this and sabotaging myself.

Motivation? Advice?

If you're wondering, I AM spinning plates. It's just that this girl interests me more than my other "plates".
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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EyeBRollin

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Ask yourself if you could do it if someone gave you money. It takes three seconds:

"<Name> what is your phone number?"

Gym is kind of off-putting for women, so your best bet would be to either catch her in a class or introduce yourself first (so you're not a stranger) and wait it out a couple weeks until you see her a few more times. Then randomly ask her.
 

.Paradox.

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Ask yourself if you could do it if someone gave you money. It takes three seconds:

"<Name> what is your phone number?"

Gym is kind of off-putting for women, so your best bet would be to either catch her in a class or introduce yourself first (so you're not a stranger) and wait it out a couple weeks until you see her a few more times. Then randomly ask her.
No offense, but did you read my post fully?

The money thing does hit home though. If someone came up to me and said "I'll give you $1000 if you ask that girl out within the next 5 minutes", I'd literally walk up to her wherever she was in the gym and interrupt whatever conversation she's having and just do it.
 

mikey2012

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Don't do it unless you on handsome scale of 11/10. You will get shot down.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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SgtSplacker

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Don't treat this like some kind of challenge, just ask her what she's doing this weekend and see how she responds.
 

nismo-4

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I'ma make this simple cuz she's not that attractive.

1. Ask her out.
2. Just do it.
3. She says yes, take the lead.
4. She says no, just ignore her forever more. Your Beats By Dre headphones are more reliable anyway.

Or just don't do it and she'll either friendzone you or keep you as an orbiter.

Case closed. Grab your balls.
 

.Paradox.

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Asked her out tonight. She got all flustered and looked like she was going to blush. Said she wanted to, but has a boyfriend, but he treats her like **** so she was gonna breakup with him soon. Got her snapchat (purposely asked for SC rather than her number).

She texts me on snapchap later saying: "Hey I really appreciate you asking if I wanted to go on a date. I'm happy with my relationship now. We just got through a rough patch but I'm happy. That took a lot of balls to do. There's not one guy that's ever come up to me and asked me on a date like that."

In a three hour time frame goes from breaking up with him to happy in her relationship. Lmao women. Happy I did it, and we'll still be on good terms. Plus if she actually breaks up with her BF, which she probably will in the near future, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the first guy she hits up/tree branches to.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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xstang77

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Well sheet I guess that's a positive loss,no harm no foul,props for doing it.
 

Atom Smasher

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Asked her out tonight. She got all flustered and looked like she was going to blush. Said she wanted to, but has a boyfriend, but he treats her like **** so she was gonna breakup with him soon. Got her snapchat (purposely asked for SC rather than her number).

She texts me on snapchap later saying: "Hey I really appreciate you asking if I wanted to go on a date. I'm happy with my relationship now. We just got through a rough patch but I'm happy. That took a lot of balls to do. There's not one guy that's ever come up to me and asked me on a date like that."

In a three hour time frame goes from breaking up with him to happy in her relationship. Lmao women. Happy I did it, and we'll still be on good terms. Plus if she actually breaks up with her BF, which she probably will in the near future, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the first guy she hits up/tree branches to.
:up:
 

AlphaNate

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I wasn't trying to ask her out in front of people we know, because I know that can be awkward for a chick.
Never ever had this problem. The opposite, in fact. Chicks like it when I blatantly flirt in front of people.
 

Von

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Asked her out tonight. She got all flustered and looked like she was going to blush. Said she wanted to, but has a boyfriend, but he treats her like **** so she was gonna breakup with him soon. Got her snapchat (purposely asked for SC rather than her number).

She texts me on snapchap later saying: "Hey I really appreciate you asking if I wanted to go on a date. I'm happy with my relationship now. We just got through a rough patch but I'm happy. That took a lot of balls to do. There's not one guy that's ever come up to me and asked me on a date like that."

In a three hour time frame goes from breaking up with him to happy in her relationship. Lmao women. Happy I did it, and we'll still be on good terms. Plus if she actually breaks up with her BF, which she probably will in the near future, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the first guy she hits up/tree branches to.
Like a Pro.

Just go NC for a while... let her initiate if anything happen.

Maybe do a followup every 3 months or so... casual one.

For the rest... spin plate and enjoy life.

Never ever had this problem. The opposite, in fact. Chicks like it when I blatantly flirt in front of people.
I always wondered that too.... its totally ''contrary to logic.... so women would love that''. Also, it shows 1) Her value in front of her people 2) You have balls 3) You act for what you want.

I need to work that better
 

RangerMIke

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Don't just go up and ask her out.... stalk her for a little while... follow her home, wait for her outside in the morning and follow her to work... if you really want to impress her, camp out on her lawn. You will know she is ready for you when the police show up... then confront her! When she slaps on a retraining order THEN ask her out. If instead you get arrested... well then you will know she has low interest.

Okay... now that we had a little laugh, my advice is to not take any of this seriously. Just do it, but do not overthink sh!t. You should already have some kind of plans, since hopefully you have a life... then you invite her along. If she says no... not a problem, you go solo. Your problem is that you are already overthinking this, and putting too much stake in making this happen.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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