"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

I need some advice

V

vato

Don Juan
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This has nothing to do with women..

I have known one of my closest friends for 9 years now.

Two years ago in 2011 we travelled and he borrowed $932 because he couldn't afford the ticket.
I haven't asked for the money in two years because as friends I believe I don't need to pressure him for it.

Last year his house caught on fire and the building burnt down.
Luckily he had insurance so he had a place to stay until they re-built the destroyed building.
But there was 1 week where he didn't have any place to stay.
So I let him sleep and eat at my place for more than a week.
As a friend I'm meant to help a friend in need.

I've been there for him everytime he has needed my help.

3 weeks ago I talked to him on the phone on a thursday and before hanging up I vaguley told him "let's do something tomorrow night"
and he replied with a "yeah sure". Later that night my fb texted me and asked me if I'm free tomorrow night and I told her that I am.
I said yes because I didn't make any concrete plan with my buddy.

So the next day my friend texted me and a bunch of other friends: "let's go out tonight and get drunk!"
I called him and told him that I already made plans with my fb.

And now he's acting like a ***** and is mad at me. He hasn't answered my phone calls or texts in a month.
I understand what I did was wrong
But he's overreacting by not contacting me in 1 month and not talking about it.

Fine, we didn't see each other that friday but there is a next friday and a friday after next that we can go out.

If the scenerio was reversed I wouldn't mind him meeting his fb instead of me, because I know where me and him stand.
Our friendship should not be based upon "a friday night I didn't go out with the guys"

I've been there for this guy everytime he's needed my support and this incident is blown out of proportion by his side.

I've called him several times and he's not answering.

What should I do?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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E

Epimanes

Master Don Juan
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I would say .. Don't worry about it. Everything happens for a reason and everyone you know is meant for a time. People are generaly selfish.. And don't have empathy for others. Let it roll off your back. Its his loss not yours. Just remember this for the next time he wants your help. To me.. He was just taking advantage of your hospitality. I know that one well.
 
U

user name

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Go NC.

The same principles with women work in other areas of life.
 
Greasy Pig

Greasy Pig

Master Don Juan
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I had a friend like that. He'd get all butthurt if I cancelled plans or was late.
All my other friends are cool guys. If I have to cancel something or I'm late, they just shrug their shoulders and we organise something else.
This guy would go off his head. One thing he did teach me was the importance of sticking to plans when they're made.
But in the end, I had to cut him loose. Being his friend was like being with a jealous girlfriend.
 
T

Tiguere

Master Don Juan
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How much of the 932... has he paid you back???
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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V

vato

Don Juan
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Greasy Pig said:
I had a friend like that. He'd get all butthurt if I cancelled plans or was late.
All my other friends are cool guys. If I have to cancel something or I'm late, they just shrug their shoulders and we organise something else.
This guy would go off his head. One thing he did teach me was the importance of sticking to plans when they're made.
But in the end, I had to cut him loose. Being his friend was like being with a jealous girlfriend.
Click to expand...
yeah that's exactly how I feel. If I wanted drama in my life I would get a girlfriend.
 
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