I need some advice...

[ItsOnNow]

Im up right now at quarter to 7 because I could not get to sleep because I had some sort of serious anxiety attack. I cannot change my negative thoughts,I cannot find the motivation and inspiration and drive to do what I want to do,instead,I am on this constant one track that I cannot seem to get off of. I find myself in this constant pattern of work/home,work/home.

When I am not at work,I seem to do whatever I can to take my mind off this emptiness. Whether its non-productive activities like drinking,being on the computer constantly,or going out and trying to buy stuff to fill the void. Obviously,none of this helps. But some of the problems may go deeper,some of them may be identity related,as to who I am,what I stand for,etc. I have serious feelings of low self esteem and self worth,and this has affected me in many areas of life. You can read so much on here,but until you take action,nothing happens.

I suppose in some ways it could be masculinity/sexualy related as well. Also,a disorder like add,and learning disability,and various social problems. This stuff always goes through my head,and I can't seem to turn it off. I know what half of the answer is,I know what it has always been,yet it has seemed so far off. I guess it's a combination of lazyness,procrastination,and getting way too comfortable. I mean,I have been putting off way too much,and for what? nothing really. Nothing of worth or substance. Just drinking,watching porn,buying stuff. I am trying to break out of this,I am trying to find an answer. I am trying to become the person I want to be.

One thing that's always been bothering me is I just can't push myself to try and meet women or new people in general. I feel like I have no game,or I am just not attractive,or I wouldn't be able to tell when and if someone is attracted to me. I definitley have a buffer against rejection as well. I mean,I can see myself in my head doing all this,but I can't push myself. The approacing,number close,meeting,seducing,etc. I don't know what it is,serious self doubt perhaps?

In alot of ways,the first half of this post describes me:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=139348

 

[judoguy]

I am going to be honest with you man, I think you need to see a professional. Noone on this forum knows you well enough to tell you how to fix all of your problems. It sounds to me like you are seriously depressed and need to get help.

I would stop worrying so much about girls and get your life together. Girls are just extra **** on the side. Get your life together where YOU are happy with it and the girls will come , I promise.


My $0.02

 

[ItsOnNow]

I have been seeing a professional,I don't know if it has helped much. I have needed help and needed to fix my problems for a while now. That's just it. I haven't been doing anything to make it happen. Just keep letting it get to me. Yet it seems like everyone else is on top of there sh!t.

 

[judoguy]

When I was in my lowliest state (pretty damn low) I designed myself. I took a piece of paper and wrote down exactly the person I wanted to be. I am talking everything, even completely crazy stuff like... I want to be a millionare, have a great G/f, be muscular, run a marathon etc.

I then wrote down on another piece of paper exactly how I would achieve each one. I didnt exactly know how I would achieve all of them but I said **** it and devised a plan anyway, regardless of how impossible it seemed. This accomplished two things...1. it put my life in persepective. It gave me goals to work towards and a purpose in life. 2. It gave me confidence because I know that I would either die trying or accomplish all my goals. This allowed me to project an image of not caring what people thought because I knew what I was going to accomplish. Yes there were alot of haters but you know what? Forget them, what are they to you?

After I wrote these goals down, I stood in front of the mirror (alone of course) and just went completely ape ****. It sounds crazy but you must stare yourself in the eyes and force yourself to unleash the person you know you are. After this I got so pumped up that I knew no matter what, even if I failed 900000000000000 x , I would keep pushing to accomplish what I know I could accomplish in my life.

I recieved these ideas from Tony Robbins . I suggest pickin up Tony Robbins' tape, Personal Power II. This has changed my life but it only works if you follow it to the T. Its pretty expensive but WELL worth it in my opinion.

You can do it man. Have Faith.

I still advise you keep seeing the professional but YOU must work to change YOUR life.




MY $0.02

 

[ItsOnNow]

That's it, I have this idea for the person I want to be,yet I am not. It's like the thought is there,but the action is not. Perhaps self pitying? I have made,or tried to make several goals,some I have achieved,some not. I want to be the confidence,not care what others say or think type of guy.

That's it. I have never even really tried. That's what really has gotten to me. It's like,I give up too soon.

 

[judoguy]

This is the last im posting in this thread.


Man the **** up and do it. Its inside you I know it is. YOU know it is.


Nothing left to it, just to do it.



This is unless you are manicallly depressed, which if it is the case, you must get professional help before you can start improving.



*disclaimer* I am not a psychiatrist but this again is


My $0.02

 

[ItsOnNow]

I will try. Thing is,I never even really tried to meet girls. I just thought it would happen as it seemed to for everyone else. Was I wrong. I have only slept with 2. Well,there's college years down the drain. Highschool sucked too. Hell,I didn't even go to college for that long. Yet here's all these guys in my age that have been with like 50 plus chicks. Wtf. See where I'm coming from?