I need some advice,I worry I may be losing touch with reality...

[Social Calibration]

Your outlook on life is extremely low and you need to fix that ASAP. All this forum is here for is to give you advice, not a miracle pill to take and all your problems go away.

It's your choice to take the advice or not. It's your choice to change for the better or keep waking up with depressing thoughts. You want to change?

Then ****ing change.

All this pickup, inner-game, self-help stuff won't do **** for you if you don't implement it. No one wants to hear you continuously complain about how life sucks or that you missed the train or whatever. In your profile it says that you're 22, you have your whole life ahead of you and I used to be in the situation that you're in right now.

You know what I did about it? I did something.

I don't remember what. But I did SOMETHING because I would not be where I am today if I didn't do SOMETHING.

Go out there and do something, keep telling yourself that you love yourself because you ****ing should. And I don't care if you look like Quasimodo or something, you better love your Quasimodo self if that's the case.

Live life, be great, and love yourself. The girls come along, trust me.

 

[wolf116]

Sorry but this is the most ridiculous advice I've ever heard.

There are many more important things to women these days than muscles. Muscles are a very nice addition and if other things are in place then they can really boost you ahead of all the other 'quality' guys out there and bag you women.

But in itself muscles are far from the be all and end all. I love bodybuilding and I put my heart and soul into it but it has nothing to do with developing a social circle, meeting women, having great game/personality, etc. If anything it has hindered me moreso in these areas as I just spend time bodybuilding and getting my 6 meals per day in, rather than going out and whatnot (not like I can as I am a recluse these days who has no friends at uni, being honest).

If the OP has no social circle and social prospects then somehow he needs to work on developing that, I'm not sure how else I wouldn't be in my current situation but you need to attack it head on. Spending several years training your arse off, eating perfectly and hoping your genetics are good is one of the least efficient ways of making friends, meeting women, being social etc.

MM

No one knows your game on internet dating/sex sites and there is know need for a social circle. On some of the bodybuilding sites I visit, the guys swear they get masses of ***** doing it this way.

Yes it is inefficient for meeting people (something I don’t care for) but do you really think that studying game for two years will wield better results (sex not friends).

 

[schttrj]

guys, please stop word-fighting with each other. It is the ITSONNOW's post. We either need to help him or curse him or keep shut. Everyone has his own opinions but why force it on others. The only time we can force our opinions on others if we have solid proof that we are right. At least, I cannot show you the pics of my girlfriends or how people admire me, so I would never force my opinion on others.

To the OP, dude, what would you gain by hearing all these advices? Even I am talking of my advice. Do you wish to get a therapy here on this thread? If yes, I would suggest you to go read some true Man's biographies. That may help. And another thing to therapy is that you have to truly believe in that.

I will say, getting physical with a woman makes her more connected to you. There can be two reactions to this: "It can be correct, why not try this out?" and "How can it be? I don't believe it" So whatever advice we give you here, just forget all about them. Just go on and live an animal's life. Not that you have move around naked and hunt on your four limbs or anything, but what I am saying is just go out, give a roar to let others know you are here and LET GO!! I believe there can be two ways to go on with your life: either change it or accept it. If you want to change it, give your best shot and don't give up until you have changed it. If you don't have the motivation or opportunities to do so, then let go and accept what you have got, and I mean accept it and be satisfied with it.

 

[Erasmus]

If you want to fix yourself:

Start a journal. Make it an enormous focus of your life. Write about the previous day every morning, or about the current day every night. Be *incredibly* diligent about it, and write with some level of detail.
Next, pick something that you don't like about yourself. Make a specific, clear, concise goal with a time limit, to change (or even slightly improve) that part of yourself. Make sure that there are *specific* actions you can take to accomplish this. "Be more masculine or alpha" is terrible, but "Be more masculine or alpha by choosing one conversation per day, and stopping my supplicative behaviors for that one conversation". Is good. Every day, write about how well you did whatever it was that you had to do, along with anything else you want to journal about.
Once a week (probably on the weekend), read over all the journals for the week, and decide whether or not you're making progress. If you aren't, then either make the goal/action easier or smaller, or choose something else entirely. Always be cognizant of when you aren't making progress, and *change* something so that you start making progress.
If you're having a hard time finding the motivation to do *anything* with yourself, then make your first goal to do something like improve your personal hygiene. Tell yourself, "I will brush my teeth every morning and night, and floss once a day". Focus your attention on your goal, write it down, read it every morning, and keep on journaling. If you can't bring yourself to do that, then make it just brushing once a day and flossing once a day, or even just brushing once a day. Once you get that down, increase to other things until you're in top form every day.
Always, always, always keep on journaling about *every* goal you've given yourself, so that you don't slide back. If you add something new and at the end of the week it's obvious you've slid back, then take it away, give yourself a week to get back to where you were, and then add it again, in a smaller form this time.
It may seem like this would take a long time to get to where you want to be (and believe me, it will), but a year from now you will be a dramatically different person, and it'll be ingrained deep in the core of your being. You won't just decide to change yourself, fail, do it again, fail again, do it again...

If you try to start journaling and do another goal at the same time and it doesn't work for you, then just make your goal journaling. Take however long you need until it's absolutely ingrained in your psyche that you MUST write about your day.
Personal change is about awareness, focus, and effort. You must stay aware of your progress, you must focus on one thing at a time, and you must give it a great deal of effort.

Later on, you can set monthly goals, bi-yearly goals, yearly goals, 10 yearly goals, whatever you want. You can incorporate them into your journaling, to allow yourself to always keep track of where you are, and where you want to go.

I personally use gmail to journal. I just use my normal gmail account, though I've been toying with the idea of making a specific journal account.
I send emails to myself, and then mark them with a 'journal' label, so I can visually tell what's what, and so that I can pull out all my journals any time I need. I send one in the morning, with my wake-up time, and other little bits about what I do in the mornings (work out, etc), and what my big goal for the day is. Then the next morning I reply to the original email, and write whether or not I achieved it, how I kept up on all my other habits/goals that I've formed, and other parts of my day that I feel are relevant. What you feel is relevant is up to you, and as long as you're diligent about it, you'll come to an equilibrium that works for you.

 

[Mavrick]

The "One" DOES Exist!

Originally Posted by Survivor

The "One" DOES Exist!

Over the years, I’ve seen much written on this forum about the elusive “One”. Some have even claimed that the “One” does not even exist, that it’s a figment of our so-called "AFC" imaginations. While such claims are well intended, they are not completely true if viewed from a slightly different perspective.

You see, I’m sure that in your journey towards bettering your interactions with women, you’ve still secretly waited and hoped for the “One” to come along and end all of your pain and frustration.

As a veteran here, I can guarantee that your noble quest for the "One" is not in vain. However, discovering the "One" is ultimately something you will have to figure out, learn and accept for yourself. You're not going to find the "One" by reading the DJ Bible a hundred times.

Nevertheless be of good cheer, because…

THE “ONE” DOES EXIST.

Yes, men. The “One” DOES exist.

You see him every time you look in the mirror.

That girl you’ve been obsessing over is NOT the “One”. You are.

YOU are what you’ve been hoping, dreaming and aspiring for.

Once you realize and accept this, “Oneitis” immediately becomes a good thing to have, doesn’t it?

And you know that pedestal that God gave you? Guess what? He intended for YOU to stand on it.

Not her. Not anyone else. You.

Take a good look in the mirror. There’s a reason you don’t like what you see.

Its because the “One” has been ignored, mistreated, and neglected by you. Right now he’s not too pleasing to look at. But he’s still the “One”. And behind all of those imperfections that you see reflected through that mirror, lies that perfect “10” that creeps in and out of your dreams. Your task is to redefine him such that he reflects what you want to see.

You cannot choose another “One”. Trying to do that is what got you in this mess in the first place. He’s all you got. And he’s all you will ever have.

Was it not you who said, “If I could just find the ‘One’, I’d be forever happy and all would be right with the world.”?

Well here’s your chance. Supplicate to the “One” like you always wanted to.

Treat him to a better body, mind and spirit.

Mobilize your comfort zone so that he’ll have a chance to shine.

If you don’t demonstrate admiration and respect for him, no one else will.

The “One” is the most important person in your life.

Act like it.

...

 

[DonGorgon]

Welcome to life in an excessively capitalist society.. You are not alone... many many people live exactly like you but keep quiet about it.

All other posters are right you need goals and activities etc... but most folks end up with drugs and alcohol or internet porn...

Oh and in a capitalist society you can go as nuts as you want as long as you pay your bills and stay out of jail..

bump

 

[MacAvoy]

Originally Posted by DonGorgon
Welcome to life in an excessively capitalist society.. You are not alone... many many people live exactly like you but keep quiet about it.

All other posters are right you need goals and activities etc... but most folks end up with drugs and alcohol or internet porn...

Oh and in a capitalist society you can go as nuts as you want as long as you pay your bills and stay out of jail.

bump

Sometimes your posts are just gold and this is one of them.

 

[Mad Manic]

No one knows your game on internet dating/sex sites and there is know need for a social circle. On some of the bodybuilding sites I visit, the guys swear they get masses of ***** doing it this way.

Yes it is inefficient for meeting people (something I don’t care for) but do you really think that studying game for two years will wield better results (sex not friends).

I think studying game is a waste of time because I don't believe in it, but I think it's more important to build a good social circle and have a healthy social life rather than having muscles. It's hard to get laid and get into relationships if you don't have high social value. As I said my social position is a disaster at the mo so I don't know how to solve these issues, but what I do know is that muscles are not the be all end all. To get a good social circle tbh you're going to need to get one from work or from uni/college from what I see, unless you get a girl and get one through her.

MM

 

[wolf116]

I think studying game is a waste of time because I don't believe in it, but I think it's more important to build a good social circle and have a healthy social life rather than having muscles. It's hard to get laid and get into relationships if you don't have high social value. As I said my social position is a disaster at the mo so I don't know how to solve these issues, but what I do know is that muscles are not the be all end all. To get a good social circle tbh you're going to need to get one from work or from uni/college from what I see, unless you get a girl and get one through her.

MM

A social circle is unnecessary for meeting women.

Muscles aren't the be all and end all, but there is a small percentage of hot women who will overtly peruse you if you are muscular.

If all you wanted was sex, just make a profile on an adult matchmaker site, I'm sure you will be successful. Women go on those sites and chose souly based on the picture, and they are looking for muscles.
A guy in a bodybuilding forum had great success using www.sexintheuk.com
and www.funshag.com in the UK.
If your interested in reading the thread on the bodybuilding forum shoot me a PM.

But I don't think that is what you want, you just want some friends. My advice for that would be to move into share accommodation. And don't assume you will be judged based on your race. I have Indian and pacific islander friends who are pimps (maybe it's because I live in Australia but exotic guys get the women).

 

[ItsOnNow]

Well, I don't know what to say. I realize what the solutions are,I think I have realized that for a long time,but there is something that is holding me back. I will try to talk about it more later.