I need some advice,I worry I may be losing touch with reality...

[ItsOnNow]

Well,it still hasn't. I see people,online/myspace,in real life,all with that special someone,all the I loves you's,I have the best person,etc. And it hurts me that I constantly feel so lonely. And these are people who have probably always had more success than me over the years. Plus the sex/intimacy thing as well. I mean,I could have changed this so long ago,yet it's like my mind was locked up and I couldn't do it.

 

[wolf116]

What makes you think they always had success? I was a lonely looser who literally pissed his pants in social situations! When I met my current FB I was shaking and stuttering. Then I spewed up just before she came over!

All it takes is 2 years of hardcore training, diet and research and you will have women.

 

[ItsOnNow]

Because they always did. Either looks/confidence,or one or the other. Or just the personality. Come on, we all know the guys who have always had the girls chasing after them. For whatever reasons,it happens.

I still feel like a lonely loser. I do get a tad nervous in some if not most social situations. I have made very little effort to change over the years. It's like I have been waiting for it to just happen. Alot of setbacks,personality things,if that is a problem,have probably also hindered me. I want it all now though.

 

[wolf116]

I HAVE NEVER HAD GIRLS, BUT NOW I DO BECAUSE I PUT IN THE EFFORT!

Heaps of guys I know are late bloomers! It's common to become good with women later on in life.

 

[ItsOnNow]

That's what I don't like. Like I have missed the boat,like everyone got there start before me,more experienced,and they have the memories of it all. Like I said,I didn't put in enough effort before. I have always wanted to become good now.

 

[iqqi]

Good job, Wolf. But I see what you mean now.

OP, you need to git up, git out and git somethin. Don't let the days of your life pass by.

You need git up, git out and git somethin. How will you make it if you never even try??

Go download some Outkast.

 

[Mavrick]

I'm sick of you pitying yourself. I'm fed up! You're a loser and a loser you will be until you CHANGE. You have no choice, but to change.

Get out! You have to get out of your comfort zone. You have to go out and make it a little wider and wider, day by day. You have stay busy and not even give yourself a chance to sit around and think those stupid thoughts that are only thought by you.

No one makes you think those thoughts, but you. No one can breathe one breath for you, but you. You are all you have, and until you make the best of it (which only you can do), it will not get better.

Man up! Start thinking of yourself as worthy and think highly of yourself.

Stop letting others define you because if you do, they will always have power and control over you and your emotions.

If what I'm telling in this post does not turn a switch in your brain, then there is nothing else I can do for you.

Nothing!

For without the first step forward, the journey cannot begin.
Without the journey, there is no purpose to life.
Without a purpose to life, you cease to live. - Unknown

 

[DonGorgon]

Welcome to life in an excessively capitalist society.. You are not alone... many many people live exactly like you but keep quiet about it.

All other posters are right you need goals and activities etc... but most folks end up with drugs and alcohol or internet porn...

Oh and in a capitalist society you can go as nuts as you want as long as you pay your bills and stay out of jail..

 

[schttrj]

Not to sound scary,but it has got me thinking. I knoiw my posts haven't been the most positive,but it helps.

My life for the past year or so feels as if it has been pretty stagnant. I wake up,go to work,come home,and that's that,or spend too much time on the computer. On day's off,I do what I can to keep myself from going nuts. That,coupled with a constant sense of emptiness,isolation,and loneliness. This has been happening for a long time,and it feels as if everything is constantly routine,there is no escape from it. Like I have no control. Also,whenever I wake up,the bad thoughts always start,and my mind is always bogged down with mental clout of all sorts.

Alot of it I feel is social/personality related. For I always feel like I am not the person I want to be. Yet I look at everyone else and all they seem to be. Happy,confident,successful,attractive. Yet I lack these things that I want. Women,freinds,etc. I really feel like I don't know what my role is. I feel like I don't belong etc. I'll type in more,cause I cannot think straight as of now.

bro, u know what, I can fully understand your situation because I am or maybe was going through like this. I know that you know what is right for you but you don't feel motivated enough, isn't it? Yes, it is the same situation where a runner (athlete) who sees that he is not gaining speed in the last couple of months ultimately stops to put in effort because he is dissatisfied with his speed and now he is absolutely demotivated. But you would see that a runner who is gradually and regularly gaining speed, would keep on doing so for a long time.

Now, let me tell you my explanation on this: Its because it depends on their reality... The former's reality is convinced that he is stuck in there and he cannot improve and the latter's reality is convinced that he can still improve and thus he DOES. you may have heard many people saying this, and this is true. It's either like reality changes beliefs and the same is true for that beliefs changes reality. It is strange, funny and true.

And man, I can tell you I have experienced it myself. So, my suggestion to you is JUST BELIEVE AND ACT LIKE YOU ARE A WINNER! thats it. Man, would you like being called a loser by others? Of course, no. I am not asking you to join a gym or anything. Nothing. It's pretty simple. Just have a fight with yourself and win it. Fight on what? Fight on your reality If the inner voice tells you that you have no options, you haven't got what you deserved or what you always desired, fight with that inner voice and try to REFRAME that reality. Try to go a little deep, if you have got what you wanted or what you deserved, what difference would have been there? Had it been truly good in that case or maybe you would have had some side effects then also?

I don't have a girlfriend. Cool, I am escaping all those little mind fvcking games of that woman, they always play. I have my freedom. I am not getting enough chance to do what I wanted to do. Am I not benefiting from my present situation? Yes... I am. So always remember the present situation is very good and you just need to improve on that. You are not into a pit, but you need to fly. So go on and take your chance wherever you have that and try to make the most of that. And man, no peer pressure, nothing, just focus on doing what you feel like, if you feel like you want to dance on your roof top naked, do that! LOL Why bother about girls, man? We all need girls but not that everyone is born to be a PUA and being a PUA would not make you a GOD, not even if u have fvcked all the girls would make you feel better. When you know you are living life on your OWN TERMS, then you are truly happy!

I think so.

 

[Mad Manic]

All it takes is 2 years of hardcore training, diet and research and you will have women.

Sorry but this is the most ridiculous advice I've ever heard.

There are many more important things to women these days than muscles. Muscles are a very nice addition and if other things are in place then they can really boost you ahead of all the other 'quality' guys out there and bag you women.

But in itself muscles are far from the be all and end all. I love bodybuilding and I put my heart and soul into it but it has nothing to do with developing a social circle, meeting women, having great game/personality, etc. If anything it has hindered me moreso in these areas as I just spend time bodybuilding and getting my 6 meals per day in, rather than going out and whatnot (not like I can as I am a recluse these days who has no friends at uni, being honest).

If the OP has no social circle and social prospects then somehow he needs to work on developing that, I'm not sure how else I wouldn't be in my current situation but you need to attack it head on. Spending several years training your arse off, eating perfectly and hoping your genetics are good is one of the least efficient ways of making friends, meeting women, being social etc.

MM

 

[Mad Manic]

That's what I don't like. Like I have missed the boat,like everyone got there start before me,more experienced,and they have the memories of it all. Like I said,I didn't put in enough effort before. I have always wanted to become good now.

I think there's a big difference between being bad with women per se but having the other things in your life sorted, and just not really having much of a life thus having no friends, meeting no women, etc. I think like me you are probably in the latter camp. It's not really women problems, but life/social/mental problems holding you back. Right now I'd take a cool social circle over a hot girl to fvck any day.

MM

 

[DonJuan11]

That's what I don't like. Like I have missed the boat,like everyone got there start before me,more experienced,and they have the memories of it all. Like I said,I didn't put in enough effort before. I have always wanted to become good now.

This is like the 1,093 thread that has started with "I have no job, no friends, no girl, no muscles, no good outlook on life. Help me sosuave. Give me two lines of advice so I magically transform into a rich and sexy Don Juan who the girls want to sleep with."

I think a couple of years in the army may do some people on here some good.

 

[MacAvoy]

ItsOnNow, your not alone, this is somewhat naturally, we all go through phases like this. The key is to not get stuck there for too long. A very well respected and inspirational poster is going through something similar. Have a read Here's his thread. He's in a different position than you but the moral of the story is, its good to reflect and look at things but sometimes you have to kick yourself in the azz and move on.

 

[Gubby]

There's not really much to say that you couldn't predict. I guess you're just stuck in the same hole as everyone who comes to this site. It's called LIFE, there's no instant-win cheat code, but that's what makes it fun. Read book of pook, fingers, krassus; make a change, any change, or don't, and wait until you're so sick of your life you get the bravery to do so.

 

[saber]

Stop placing other peoples life on some pedestal!!

most people are bored and unhappy and lots of them are lonely, depressed, addicted, ect ect

I climbing out of a similiar hole and lemme say this...

How can you feel worthy to hang out with people you think so greatly of??

Lately I have felt the same way cause thigns have kinda slowed down for me.
However I will let it blow over and keep putting myself out there

 

[Mavrick]

How can you feel worthy to hang out with people you think so greatly of??

This is a question that I needed to ask myself today. Thanks!

 

[Mad Manic]

This is like the 1,093 thread that has started with "I have no job, no friends, no girl, no muscles, no good outlook on life. Help me sosuave. Give me two lines of advice so I magically transform into a rich and sexy Don Juan who the girls want to sleep with."

I think a couple of years in the army may do some people on here some good.

Yes agreed but since this site focues on game so much then that shows why people aren't really being helped. Because they need to fix things in their life. As I said there's a difference between problems in life meaning no women and having most things sorted but specifically sucking at getting women. I bet if most people here got some cool buddies, a better body and a better outlook they'd get girls, but that's MUCH easer said than done.

MM

 

[Bonafide]

...

 

[Bonafide]

Well,it still hasn't. I see people,online/myspace,in real life,all with that special someone,all the I loves you's,I have the best person,etc. And it hurts me that I constantly feel so lonely. And these are people who have probably always had more success than me over the years. Plus the sex/intimacy thing as well. I mean,I could have changed this so long ago,yet it's like my mind was locked up and I couldn't do it.

Just know that they are doing that for you. They are trying to bring you down even more...now the question is...are you going to let them? Man up! Man the **** up! MAN THE **** UP!

 

[ezily]

therapy may help. You seem to be experiencing a depressive episode.

But they're going to tell you the same things we've been telling you. So don't waste money if you don't want to change. But I still think you should go and actually talk to someone in person about this instead of over the net.