I Need Serious Help. Girls Still Think Of Me As Sweet And Tender Eventhough I Am Not

[star_child]

guys please help me. I turned 22 today and girls still tell me Im sweet and tender.

I want to be bad, an *******, **** this middle ground. I want to be the guy they are all begging to **** who treats them like **** and uses the like sexual objects cause you know something.... girls love it. the relish in it.

thing is I only want them for sex but they get the idea about me wanting them for something serious when, first Im too civilized and kind and feel empathy for people and sympathize with them when they talk about how they feel or I ask about how they feel, second Im too curious and intelligent so I talk ask about them cause I want to know who they are out of curiousity and of their past and present and family and such and I tend to ask thingsa that for most poeple are apparently way profound even when I think fo them as being simple and third Im a good hearted human being who cares about what other people feel and wants to make people feel good as long as it doesnt mean putting them first. I also tend to move quite freely and do a lot of hand gestures and my face gestures also are sweet.

all this screws me up. I want to be the guy they have sex with, they beg to have sex with eventhough they know he is ****ing ten thousand other women and they love getting ****ed by him and they go out of their way and make an effort to get in his bed. I want to be that inconsiderate rude prick who treats them like meat and **** and they all want to **** him, but I have my whole nature going against me. Im ****ing becoming insane. I never get much sex, Im always either just a friend o most of the times the potential boyfriend they usually discard because he is too nice. the thing is I dont give em gifts, I dont call them everyday, I dont pay for any of their ****, I dont take any of their **** or rude behavior, I dont walk on eggshells, I dont want to marry them, with most i dont even want an LTR, I dont want to be their friend, I dont agree with everything they say, I dont do any of that afc ****.I just want ****ing sex. sex sex and only sex.

and my problem comes with my body language. my kino is not sexual enough, not wild enough, I am very civilized and elegant when i talk, I tend to talk about intellectual stuff, and I tend to actually be curious about who they are and where they come from and treat them like human beings and I am considerate about their feelings. and my body language is tender. I dont transmit the dangerous/exciting/ o please put your c0ck in me now! vibe. I transmit the sweet cool guy vibe and somehow they think sweet cool guys suck at sex or something.

what can I do guys?
Im out of ideas. its not easy being a prick when your whole nature and esscence is against it.

 

[DonJuanForever]

Hey buddy. You don't have to be a jerk if you don't want to, women are not attracted to jerks, they are attracted to SEXUAL MEN. Men who are in sexual state around them, you can have whatever personality you want to have. Seriously, I laugh when guys think jerks get all the women, because I know a lot of Usher/Justin Timberlake(have way gay) acting guys who walk in the club and get the baddest chicks all the time. You know why they do it? They are very sexual beings. Learn how to be subtle and sexual. Refer to Gunwitch's method, its the best lesson on this. Do a search and you will be fine.

-Don Juan Forever

 

[Bvbidd]

guys please help me. I turned 22 today and girls still tell me Im sweet and tender.

I want to be bad, an *******, **** this middle ground. I want to be the guy they are all begging to **** who treats them like **** and uses the like sexual objects cause you know something.... girls love it. the relish in it.

thing is I only want them for sex but they get the idea about me wanting them for something serious when, first Im too civilized and kind and feel empathy for people and sympathize with them when they talk about how they feel or I ask about how they feel, second Im too curious and intelligent so I talk ask about them cause I want to know who they are out of curiousity and of their past and present and family and such and I tend to ask thingsa that for most poeple are apparently way profound even when I think fo them as being simple and third Im a good hearted human being who cares about what other people feel and wants to make people feel good as long as it doesnt mean putting them first. I also tend to move quite freely and do a lot of hand gestures and my face gestures also are sweet.

all this screws me up. I want to be the guy they have sex with, they beg to have sex with eventhough they know he is ****ing ten thousand other women and they love getting ****ed by him and they go out of their way and make an effort to get in his bed. I want to be that inconsiderate rude prick who treats them like meat and **** and they all want to **** him, but I have my whole nature going against me. Im ****ing becoming insane. I never get much sex, Im always either just a friend o most of the times the potential boyfriend they usually discard because he is too nice. the thing is I dont give em gifts, I dont call them everyday, I dont pay for any of their ****, I dont take any of their **** or rude behavior, I dont walk on eggshells, I dont want to marry them, with most i dont even want an LTR, I dont want to be their friend, I dont agree with everything they say, I dont do any of that afc ****.I just want ****ing sex. sex sex and only sex.

and my problem comes with my body language. my kino is not sexual enough, not wild enough, I am very civilized and elegant when i talk, I tend to talk about intellectual stuff, and I tend to actually be curious about who they are and where they come from and treat them like human beings and I am considerate about their feelings. and my body language is tender. I dont transmit the dangerous/exciting/ o please put your c0ck in me now! vibe. I transmit the sweet cool guy vibe and somehow they think sweet cool guys suck at sex or something.

what can I do guys?
Im out of ideas. its not easy being a prick when your whole nature and esscence is against it.

From your name and the way you type I can tell what the problem is.

 

[DonJuanForever]

Bvbidd come on, that really is no ness. He asked an important question, he is on here seeking to self-improve himself, how does that make him a retard?

You being online with nothing better to do with your time but read through posts and post comments like that show that you have shyt else to do with your time and basically.....with all the things going on today that a guy can get into...that would make you a retard.

 

[Gubby]

You need to realise that it's perfectly alright to want what you want, and act like, if someone thinks you shouldn't want what you want, THEY ARE WRONG. If someone dissaproves of how you are, oh well. Their problem. Don't even spend time thinking about it.

It takes a radical turnaround in the way you think, so baby steps is all I can say. Whenever you think of an action which demonstrates how you don't want to be, think of how you would have liked to have done it. Start acting like having sex with hundreds of chicks is normal for you. Make sexual jokes. Keep your goal in mind always, you'll get there.

And read up on the DJB, double your dating by david deangelo (great ebook, def. worth the money), whatever. There's no quick fix, but that's good because instead of waiting to find the quick fix eternally you can take matters into your own hands. Good luck.

 

[DonJuanForever]

There is no quick fix? Really?

Most people who say this really don't understand the "fix."

Guys, let's re-program our minds to understand life is not about a constant battle but rather a evolution of the mind and using wisdom to achieve results.

The quick fix is wisdom, choose the right one, and you will get there quicker than using the wrong ones? Makes sense?

I come from the sales background and my managers always told me that, I didn't listen to them and I researched how top sales guys made it happen. There is a "quick fix," you just need to find wisdom on how its done. When considering women, be sexual around them, approach, have a life. There's no need to read 1,000 articles, do 1,000 pushups, and "get there" in 5 years. No, get there in 5 minutes. Peace.

 

[Gubby]

There is no quick fix? Really?

Most people who say this really don't understand the "fix."

Guys, let's re-program our minds to understand life is not about a constant battle but rather a evolution of the mind and using wisdom to achieve results.

The quick fix is wisdom, choose the right one, and you will get there quicker than using the wrong ones? Makes sense?

I come from the sales background and my managers always told me that, I didn't listen to them and I researched how top sales guys made it happen. There is a "quick fix," you just need to find wisdom on how its done. When considering women, be sexual around them, approach, have a life. There's no need to read 1,000 articles, do 1,000 pushups, and "get there" in 5 years. No, get there in 5 minutes. Peace.

Heh, that's useful advice in some contexts but you don't become a miraculous, lady killing Don Juan in five minutes do you? He hasn't so far, and he can only be dissillusioned if he does end up believing that.

It's easier than you think, but it's not instant. Change comes from the inside. The best all the resources in the world can give you is a guide to making that change.

 

[Wiesman44]

awwww, you're so sweet and tender star child.

 

[MetalFortress]

You don't need to become a total prick to become a ladies' man. Are not the best of the old-school players, guys whose sweetness is a form of their game?

 

[JHeights83rd]

Manhood

You sound like you were raise by a single mother, so you probably aren’t that familiar with manhood. You probably give off a real feminine vibe, and this will keep being a problem for you. What id recommend doing is playing some sports, and hanging around some real men. When you hang out, be looking to change your body language. Its great that youre intellectual but with girls you wanna keep it light, and not flex knowledge a little bit in a subject she brings up. You might know how to keep it light, just watch more movies and entertainment stuff. You get more familiar with man hood. You don’t just become acquainted with manhood when you turn 18.

Ok obviously your mom taught you to be interested in woman’s personalities. and this is good, but you have to be a little less interested in them at the start. Make them earn your interst. Only know surface level stuff (ie what she did today) then be playful about what theyre doing. But you have to cut this feelings thing. Being sensitive and understanding of a woman’s feelings, woman might like it, but it’s a feminine thing to do. From what your telling me, girls probably will get dressed in front of you, and sleep in the same bed as you. Don’t try to become a jerk or a tough guy, b/c itll look mad fake, start hanging out with other real men. Youre a man, your goal in life is to get power and influence on a part of the world, and with power and influence, comes money and sex at the man’s disposal. You don’t get this by being nice, understanding, compassionate. You feel like a million bucks, you feel pissed off, or like I don’t give a f. This is how a strong man feels the majority of the time. Youre a man, so therefore, you have to learn how to develope your jerk side, b/c just saying 'no' or 'stop it' in an attempt to stand up for yourself isnt gonna cut it. Look at what happens to spongebob squarepants.

I don’t really agree with the advice about your sexual state, its good but its not going to solve your problem. Pumping your penis up, will not do you any good b/c it sounds like you don’t have a lot of exposure to true manhood. If im wrong about you don’t take it personally but I don’t know any straight man who likes talking about feelings with girls. Maybe you tolerate it b/c that’s may be all you know. But anyway, hang around more manly men.

 

[JHeights83rd]

Metalgear, people who use the sweet, and gentlemanly things, use them sparingly enough, and the have such power and influence in society (which is the best of manhood) that they can lean over into a little sweetness and feminity. you probably dont have that power and influence of a club owner or Martin Luther King, or JFK, or a CEO, so women arent just drawn to you. Us regular guys, cant just pour our f in guts out for her.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

I found a book that might help you and it got good reviews (I havent read it)
The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks
Dan Indante, Karl Marks

you can find it in amazon.com and other places

 

[star_child]

You sound like you were raise by a single mother, so you probably aren’t that familiar with manhood. You probably give off a real feminine vibe, and this will keep being a problem for you. What id recommend doing is playing some sports, and hanging around some real men. When you hang out, be looking to change your body language. Its great that youre intellectual but with girls you wanna keep it light, and not flex knowledge a little bit in a subject she brings up. You might know how to keep it light, just watch more movies and entertainment stuff. You get more familiar with man hood. You don’t just become acquainted with manhood when you turn 18.

Ok obviously your mom taught you to be interested in woman’s personalities. and this is good, but you have to be a little less interested in them at the start. Make them earn your interst. Only know surface level stuff (ie what she did today) then be playful about what theyre doing. But you have to cut this feelings thing. Being sensitive and understanding of a woman’s feelings, woman might like it, but it’s a feminine thing to do. From what your telling me, girls probably will get dressed in front of you, and sleep in the same bed as you. Don’t try to become a jerk or a tough guy, b/c itll look mad fake, start hanging out with other real men. Youre a man, your goal in life is to get power and influence on a part of the world, and with power and influence, comes money and sex at the man’s disposal. You don’t get this by being nice, understanding, compassionate. You feel like a million bucks, you feel pissed off, or like I don’t give a f. This is how a strong man feels the majority of the time. Youre a man, so therefore, you have to learn how to develope your jerk side, b/c just saying 'no' or 'stop it' in an attempt to stand up for yourself isnt gonna cut it. Look at what happens to spongebob squarepants.

I don’t really agree with the advice about your sexual state, its good but its not going to solve your problem. Pumping your penis up, will not do you any good b/c it sounds like you don’t have a lot of exposure to true manhood. If im wrong about you don’t take it personally but I don’t know any straight man who likes talking about feelings with girls. Maybe you tolerate it b/c that’s may be all you know. But anyway, hang around more manly men.

Yes I was raised by a single mother. Yes she taught me to be interested in peoples personalities (not only womens) and now that I think of it, being interested in people actually comes a lot more from my intellectual curiousity of the human mind ( I am a student of psychology at college) than from my moms world. I have a great problem. I dont know any manly men. Most guys I know are AFCs. The guys I might know that are like that are people I dont have like a friendship with. I will try to think of whom I know that is like that and try to hang out with them, but simple minded manly guys like that generally clash a little bit with me. We could only hang out if we went somewehre to pick girls up and not talk much cause if I hang out regurlarly with them they might get tired of me being too smart.

you know something very funny? check this out, cracks me up. I was just reading an article on askmen.com that said:

"While I do know some men who are no doubt "naturals" when it comes to attracting women, I also know a lot of guys who are considered by most to be naturals but who actually made themselves so by cultivating the qualities inside themselves that are attractive to women.

Yes, you read that right. Naturals can be created. And you can do it.

We all have to learn how to socialize, deal with women and make the most of our lives.

So start by doing all you can to make yourself great in your own eyes...

That might mean working out and eating right, learning to play an instrument or learning a second language, taking a trip to a foreign country, or working with a charity to do some good in the world.

When you do these things, women will notice. And as you take the steps to make your life great and improve yourself as a person, you'll start to notice that your life -- and especially your dating life -- is exponentially better and more fulfilling."

very funny thing is this: I work out (today I swam for over an hour and my abs and biceps show) and I eat right (I have a flat belly and healthy eating habits), I play 4 musical instruments (guitar, piano, voice and harp) and you can check out my music at www.myspace.com/adriandonneaud, I not only know a second language - I ****ing speak 3 languages (english, spanish and french), I am going to travel all over europe in about 3 months and yeah =) you guessed it, I also ****ing do charity work. and guess what man....

no women. no ****ing women. how do you even begin to explain this?

I have made out with 6 girls since january and had sex five times in total with 2 of those. but no girls really. I have to try hard for it. I apporach a lot of girls but most are not interested. Im a good looking guy too and outgoing. I just dont get whats wrong with this girls. why the hell do they think Im sweet? cause I care about saving the enviorement and I have a good relationship with my mom and talk feely about it and I talk about how much I love my dogs. what? doing that automatically makes me lousy in bed in their minds? makes me sexually unattractive? wats their deal man?

no. girls dont dress in front of me unless I undressed them first and when girls lie in a bed next to me its because we have something sexual going on. in fact when I play sports, other guys complain that Im just too agressive (pussies I say to them) and its been like that ever since I played mad violent soccer with the soccer team at 9. I have a ****ing testosteroine overload everywhere in me (I have tons of ****ing hair and Im driven as hell and I don not surrender - how do you think I went from no girls to 6 girls in about 3 months?) but somehow they still ****ing think Im sweet or some **** like that.

now, Im an artist and I am very sensitive. it is because of this that I cannot feel as pissed as those simple minded jocks and instead I feel sad. I feel sad when I hear about the rainforest dissapearing or about the hunger of children in africa and ironically enough i also get ****ing sad about my incredible lack of sex. its also the reason I like to talk about feelings. also Im going to be a psychologist and have at least to 2 PHDs in social sciences man! I am supposed to like to talk about feelings. Its in my nature! thats what us psychologists do! I love to know how people feel and hink about all kinds of stuff. its in my nature. thats why I went for psychology and not for accounting or some square profession like that. my body language is only interpreted as feminine by those macho men or macho liking women who think a man doesnt move. I flow in my movements, almost like a dance when I speak. I am an artist dude. No one ever told joe ****er he was gay when he sang moving his hands in his own strange way. but hey those were other days. women were better, sex was easier and safer, and sites like this were not needed. everyone got laid. conssumerism ****ed us up. guys here talk about feminism but its really consumism what ****ed up seduction and sex.

now, I am an only child and my single mom is a an intellectual feminist who has challenged many of mens barriers on women professionally speaking (she was one of the first women to go to college in mexico in the 60s!) and we can have the most beautiful and profound conversations about the nature of mankind but sadly enough she just doesnt get it when it comes to women and never made the effort of teaching me about that because she herself doesnt understand it either. I have a deep respect for her which, if freud was anywhere near right with his edipus complex (which I think he was), I guess makes me unable to naturally treat women badly and harshly and like meat (stuff which totally gets you chicks in bed) and makes me treate them kindly and as equals. I grew up without a dad and missed on the chance of watching a man interact with a woman in a sexual way and incounciously learn the body language required. To compensate for this lacking I have been training myself in the art of seduction since I was 17 but with very limited reuslts still. Still its getting foking better by the minute. The thing is Im not progressing fast enough. hey smetimes I have been the bad boy ****ing the girl who just LTBFriended some afc. sometimes I have even been called bad by girls. god, just thinking about that makes me mentally ***. but most of the time dude I am said to be sweet and nice and all kinds of **** that doesnt get you laid. I am not interested in marrying or finding one steady woman for a long time. I dont think I even want to have kids, not until Im like 45 or 50 anyway. for a single feminist´s son I actually turned out to be very manly dude. for me girls are for sex. and sure with some you can also enjoy tenderness and love (I ve been in love once and it was wonderful with a wonderufl girl) and that makes it so much better. but in the end its all about the sex with most of them. there is no one. there are many. and I want to fock them all.

 

[star_child]

also my goals are not power and money and influence. my paradigm is a bit different. I am all about compassion empathy love pleasure enlightening and enjoyment. fock money and power and prestige and unnecessary luxuries, superficial trappings of the current materialistic order. give me sex, women, art, philosphy, life, health, compassion, nature, fun, youth. thats me. and I love being me. I think Im poretty confident when it comes to who I am.

so if I cant really be a jerk and an as$hole cause it will look super fake, what can I be? will it work for me to just be more bold and sexual but still be the way I am and just hold back on talking about feelings? I do know fortune favor the bold. I am very bold in all areas in life and moderatly bold with women. maybe I just need to be very bold there as well and **** it all. dont give a **** about it. do not even think about ti. abandon this site and all thats stuff completly. I mean I know my ****. dont thhink about it. just do ti when you see a girl you find hot. act indifferent, do not talk about emotions, follow the basic rules, be bold, be sexual, work on bosy language and kino so they are more sexual, be more confident sexually which is the confidence I lack and presto- I can still be me. that might work dont you think?

I hope you get to read this Heights 83rd. I wrote all this for you man. Now that you know about my background more. how would you asses my situation now?

 

[future dj]

cause I care about saving the enviorement and I have a good relationship with my mom and talk feely about it and I talk about how much I love my dogs. what? doing that automatically makes me lousy in bed in their minds? makes me sexually unattractive? wats their deal man?

nothing wrong with these things but why do you have to talk about it? and yes it makes you feminine....and i think that really is the problem... dont take this the worng way but when i read your posts they sound like a gay guy.....my mum is great but i dont tell women i meet about her....if i were a girl, some guy telling me about how much he loves his mum and his dogs would make me cringe

you can be a nice guy and get laid...i get told i'm a nice guy all the time....but with that same token i've have women who are engaged (@ work etc) tell me that if i was willing to have a relationship with them they'd break up with their fiance and i dont have much problems getting laid either....

 

[Tomatoes]

This thread is full of hostility. I just spent time reading the posts. Time thats wasted. I could write meaningful advice but i feel it will fall among deaf ears. So screw it.

 

[flippinfreak]

This thread is full of hostility. I just spent time reading the posts. Time thats wasted. I could write meaningful advice but i feel it will fall among deaf ears. So screw it.

PLEASE!!!!!!:cheer:

 

[Bvbidd]

You look like a little kid or VERY gay.

Then I heard you sing..

 

[star_child]

oh so now I sound and look gay? this is the most stupid thing I have ever heard.
what kind of stupid ideas have you adopted in this place that makes you think that? your definition of what a man is is very limited and poor. if someone isnt into cars, doesnt like watching sports and cares about the enviorement he is automatically gay? its pathethic. guys come in all shapes and sizes. not only uber macho meatballs are straight. Im glad Im moving to europe soon where people are smarter about this.

 

[flippinfreak]

Gay is a philosophy