I need new friends

[SayWhat]

This is going to be a thread just to let out my frustrations, I know what I have to do.

I've been friends with my current friends for about 12 years. They've always been good friends and we had some really great times.

Lately though I get more and more frustrated. Some of them prefer to play games on their computer till 22h on friday and saturday evenings before going out to have a drink. Even on hot summer days they prefer to play their stupid pc games instead of going out and enjoying the sun. And when we go out, it's always the same old pub.

They have no life vision and want a boring, normal life. In short, since I found this site I know what I want in life and it is basically completely different from what they want. Even though it should be no problem, it does on subjects like travelling or how to spend some free time,…

They are very pessimistic over everything. Everything that happens in this world and to them has to be said in a very negative way. It has come to a point where I feel ashamed to go out with them and am starting to avoid them.

I know I need new friends, but it has always been hard for me to make new friends. So how rude this may sound, I think I’ll ‚keep’ them until I found some new ones.

This is just a banter post, I know how to try to find new friends, it just had to get out of my system.

 

[Asmodeus]

This is going to be a thread just to let out my frustrations, I know what I have to do.

I've been friends with my current friends for about 12 years. They've always been good friends and we had some really great times.

Lately though I get more and more frustrated. Some of them prefer to play games on their computer till 22h on friday and saturday evenings before going out to have a drink. Even on hot summer days they prefer to play their stupid pc games instead of going out and enjoying the sun. And when we go out, it's always the same old pub.

They have no life vision and want a boring, normal life. In short, since I found this site I know what I want in life and it is basically completely different from what they want. Even though it should be no problem, it does on subjects like travelling or how to spend some free time,…

They are very pessimistic over everything. Everything that happens in this world and to them has to be said in a very negative way. It has come to a point where I feel ashamed to go out with them and am starting to avoid them.

I know I need new friends, but it has always been hard for me to make new friends. So how rude this may sound, I think I’ll ‚keep’ them until I found some new ones.

This is just a banter post, I know how to try to find new friends, it just had to get out of my system.

Bad apples, and those bad apples can spoil you with their negativity. Finding new friends is a good choice, you want to keep yourself fro being like these friends that you have. It is better to be alone than to be with people who bring you down.

 

[Slime93]

I've never had many friends so id be greatful for what you have.

But just go to new establishments and try to meet new people I guess.

Sports might help a lot too. I think guys who play together usually go out together too. So maybe find a game at your school or park.

 

[logicallefty]

They key is finding friends you can tolerate, and for that matter, who can tolerate you. I'm one of those guys who was AFC 'nice guy' to the core for so many years and that's how 85% of the people who know me at all know me to be. When I barely began my transformation into being a real man roughy 10 years ago people even then noticed that I was 'different'. I had a friend I have known for over 20 years just the other day say "Sometimes you are just an azzhole, Lefty". I don't think I am an azzhole based on most folk's actual definition of it. I just don't take people's sh|t anymore in any way, shape, or form. I speak my mind and if they can't handle it then I don't genuinely care. It's a two way street though. The guy who called me an azzhole is a guy who is one of the biggest married AFCs I know. I get sick to my stomach whenever he talks about the dynamic between him and his wife. I can only handle so much it because I want to set him straight because I do care about him, but I know there is no way he will ever hear what I have to say. He, and many of my other friends, are like this. They will have to fall on their own, and I will be there for them when they do.. But in the mean time, I can only handle them in moderation. A meet for a few hours once every few months at most.

 

[SayWhat]

They key is finding friends you can tolerate, and for that matter, who can tolerate you. I'm one of those guys who was AFC 'nice guy' to the core for so many years and that's how 85% of the people who know me at all know me to be. When I barely began my transformation into being a real man roughy 10 years ago people even then noticed that I was 'different'. I had a friend I have known for over 20 years just the other day say "Sometimes you are just an azzhole, Lefty". I don't think I am an azzhole based on most folk's actual definition of it. I just don't take people's sh|t anymore in any way, shape, or form. I speak my mind and if they can't handle it then I don't genuinely care. It's a two way street though. The guy who called me an azzhole is a guy who is one of the biggest married AFCs I know. I get sick to my stomach whenever he talks about the dynamic between him and his wife. I can only handle so much it because I want to set him straight because I do care about him, but I know there is no way he will ever hear what I have to say. He, and many of my other friends, are like this. They will have to fall on their own, and I will be there for them when they do.. But in the mean time, I can only handle them in moderation. A meet for a few hours once every few months at most.

Can you call them friends then? Once every few months for a few hours are not friends and just people you know in my eyes.

Friends for me are people who are there when you want them to be there, when you ask them to go grab a beer who gladly say yes unless they genuinly have something better to do, who are there for a real talk or some stupid banter. Things I miss with my 'friends'.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

My mother doesn't understand why I don't call this one friend from high school when I go back and visit home. He's a nice kid, gives her discounts, and make no mistake, we had an awesome time in high school/college. The point is now 5 years later he is 60 pounds heavier, lost all his hair, and is still working at the same grocery store he was as a teenager. And now he's getting married, virtually anchoring himself to this reality for life. Suit yourself, but we have zero in common now and that's why I don't call. I am struggling mightily with finding direction in this life and have virtually shut down until I find it, and I'll be damned if I'm going to associate with men who peaked at 17 are are OK with this.

Another friend I have is in the process of being phased out. He's 26, is lazy, entitled, hasn't lived on his own a day in his life, and is an outright narcissist. He's into this new age spirituality drivel where he feels the universe is speaking to him. And he's blamed every single failure in his life on a pinched nerve in his neck. Seriously. I've stopped answering his texts.

I also had two guys I knew from the age of 10 completely freeze me out about 2 years ago, likely because I wouldn't STFU about my BPD ex. It stung, but I understand it now.

Beyond all this I still have about 5 guys who are a net positive to my life, so I'm lucky there. But DON'T feel bad about trimming the fat. You have a responsiblity to yourself to do just that.

Join a sport or travel. Stay at hostels and meet people from all over the world. It's very invigorating and enlightening to hear their stories.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Boohoo, your friends have different hobbies than yours.

 

[Bingo-Player]

many "friends" have come and gone through my life over the years , there are a few who have been there for me for a long time but i think the key is too keep a nice variety

i keep 3 different groups

1) gym friends , these are people i see maybe 3 or 4 times a week in the gym i rarely will tend to socialise with these outside of the gym but i know the offer is always there if i am bored

2) work friends , I'm lucky enough to work in a different city to the one i live in so i have developed a few friends through that , again i will rarely socialise with these at say the weekend but i have been known to spend the odd weekend away with them

3) core social circle - these are my friends i will spend most of my weekends with or go on trips away / holidays it stays fresh because i rarely see these friends during the week anymore because we all have priorities in the week

luckily none of my friends have really found serious relationships yet so most of us can do whatever we want whenever we want