I need insight on how I lost this girl in one day..

[pipe007]

so I met this Puerto Rican chick a month and half ago
we met up, got to know each other a bit.
second time, we went for a walk to the park, we ended up kissing...
the last time we went out alone I took her to the beach, and some heavy touching and kissing, but she was on her period supposedly so we stopped there....

she seemed into me, the were some red flags though, she would take up to 6 hours sometimes more time to text back...

another red flag for me was the fact that her parents are divorced and each one has been married twice and the father has been married 3 times

so this was no long term relationship material in my book, however she is hot, and I wanted to keep dating her for a bit longer...

last saturday she said we should go clubbing, I said thats ok, and she took her other 3 single girl friends

so the night started out great, girls got in for free, i had to pay 20 bucks to get in,, no problem.... I took extra 20 in case I had to pay for her ticket... so I used that money to buy couple drinks...

(one week before this we had gone clubbing just her and me, and I spend 40 dollars in our tickets and another 40 on drinks, they were expensive inside, and I felt a bit angry with myself to be spending 80$ a night with a girl who im just meeting and is no LTR potential,,, which am not even ****ing.. just touching and heavy kissing)

anyway back to the story with her gfs, we got in, it was me and her girls all dancing in a circle, bunch of drunk guys getting rejected one after the other, and me teasing them... it was fun at the beginning... my girl seemed to be into me and dancing, and making sure I was next to her

so she wanted another drink, and I took care of it, then 30 mins later she wanted another drink, and I said I didn't want to I was ok... (hinting I didnt want to spend more money) so she said, oh I'll pay for mine,,, and she did... she even asked me if I wanted a drink, and I said no...

ok so we go back to the group, and something changed... she was not making eye contact with me as much, and kinda dancing on the side and not with me... I just went with the flow, and didnt try to reach after her...

all of a sudden some random tall guy starts talking to her, and she seems all smilie and happy to talk to him in front of me!!..

i didnt think much of it, so we went to another side of the club and we (the whole group) sat in one of the chairs... all of a sudden the random tall guy comes in with his friend and they start talking to the girls in my group, and the tall guy sits next to my girl and starts talkin to her, and she kinds gives him full open body language and gives me the back... lol

and she seemed to enjoy the conversation... now I came in her car, so I couldnt just walk away to my car and leave, so I had to swallow such disrespect...

I got up and started dancing with one of her friends, then the guy gets up and leaves, and my girl comes to me and she is like "oh he is a good friend of mine, and he told me kinda likes one of my friends"

I thought it was BS, because this guy never made Eye contact with any of her friends... and later on I went up to him and asked him how long had he met my girl, and he was like "oh no, we just met here at the club"

my girl (I feel discusted I say my girl, but I do so so you guys know who) also, told him " oh why are you leaviing, and kinda grabbing him" when he got up and wanted to go for a walk... I heard her... I was in shock,,, how did she lose interest in me in such a quick way???

did she wanted me to take charge and call her on her B.S behavior? which I never did since we are just dating..
did she get turned off by me not spending more money on her drinks??? maybe?

I think she might have gotten turned off by me not stepping in and taking charge when the other guy was talking to her, but she was enjoying it, she is not my serious gf, we just dating, and I was like I just wanna get to know who the real her is.. and I did, I was dissapointed...

so we left the club....and she came back to me as we were walking to the car, she grabbed my hand... it was really cold outside and I kinda hugged her because she was almost passing out from the cold...we got to the car, (we all came in her car) my girl was too tipsy to drive, so her friend did, and she went on the passanger side, I was in the back,, just hating the night....

after that I never contacted her again, its been like 5 days, and SHE HASNT CONTACTED ME EITHER!!!

I'm just shocked... she used to text me at least 3 times every day, and she was into me, that night when we got there, she was really into me... and it slowly died...

women are selfish beings sometimes....

 

[pipe007]

I deleted her number at the end of the night to make sure I wasnt the one who reinitiates contact.... and I never did again, so I dont have her number

and that seems to be the end of it

sux, I wish I could ask her, what happened.. so I can learn

maybe I subconsciously telegraphed jealousy? even though I was really calmed and didnt make a scene.. I was just always around to make sure that the guy didnt try to escalate on her

 

[cordoncordon]

I deleted her number at the end of the night to make sure I wasnt the one who reinitiates contact.... and I never did again, so I dont have her number

and that seems to be the end of it

sux, I wish I could ask her, what happened.. so I can learn

maybe I subconsciously telegraphed jealousy? even though I was really calmed and didnt make a scene.. I was just always around to make sure that the guy didnt try to escalate on her

No. I don't think she ever really had any true interest in you romantically. She was more or less using you to take her out, buy her dinner and drinks, ticks to the club, etc. And I'm sure her excuse of being on her period was just her way of getting out of having sex. Then, when you told her no to another drink, she realized her little free ride from you was ending. So her fake interest ended as well.

I would totally forget this girl and move on to someone who genuinely enjoys being with you, instead of being with someone who just wanted to use you.

Good luck.

 

[pipe007]

thanks, appreciate your honesty

it would only make sense that she was using me for free stuff... but there were some nights we would go for a walk to the park or the beach, and I would not spend money on her...

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Tough call,

My thought is that her interest level was just hovering around the 50% mark, and probably was less. She was using you. You buy her drinks and show her some attention and she likes it enough to give you a little action... Someone comes along who she "digs" more and the scale quickly tips and her IL for you drops quickly. Not to mention the whole thing started when you denied to buy her another drink.

My strongest advice is to leave her alone and move on. Don't question, assume, guess or ponder it too much. Outside of working on your own personal game, there's nothing you can do. I hate this term, but you kinda got AMOG'd

If you ask her what's up or what happened, you'll not get an honest or straight answer and will be left with probably more unanswered questions. Women do not want to be held accountable for this sort of stuff. Move on.

Good job on deleting her number.

The red flags should be your goal posts, in this scenario. Use them to remind yourself why you should stay away form her.... She's obviously flaky and not to be trusted.

 

[pipe007]

I got AMOG'd that's it

I was standing there, watching it live happening for the first time, first time it happens to me, I've read a lot and seen it happening to others...

the guy had game, he came to me and tried to disarm me by being super friendly to me and introducing himself....

He did disarm me, but I was confused,

If I told him to go, or grabbed her to my side, I would have seemed insecure and low status,,, and she would have lost more attraction...

How could I have handled this situation?

I just maintained my cool and responded to him in a friendly way and just trying to get distracted... at the end she told me its ok should dance with one of my friends, next thing I did Iwas dancing with all her friends, and some of them kinda liked me.... when I turn around, she was talking to the guy

ouch!

 

[vatoloco]

did she get turned off by me not spending more money on her drinks???

DING! DING! DING! We have a winner folks!



Dude, you're lucky! You only dropped $120 on this broad. Could you imagine going out for 5 or 6 more dates!? You got off cheap!

 

[jophil28]

DING! DING! DING! We have a winner folks!



Dude, you're lucky! You only dropped $120 on this broad. Could you imagine going out for 5 or 6 more dates!? You got off cheap!

Pipe - three guys here are telling you the same simple explanation for her cold switch. She was using you for some freebies until the BBD came along , and he did.
One of the giveaways was her arranging a few of her girls to go clubbing with you. Why did she do that ? Because she knows that a bunch of chicks together in a club looks like a bunch of single available women with one guy as a "friend".
That is how women behave when their intention is to position themselves in an attempt to attract new men.
Your refusal to buy her a drink gave her a "justification" for her to shift up a gear and start chatting to the next male who comes her way .

Tough break, BUT you broke one of our rules to avoid just this kind of female exploitataion of men - you spent money on a woman who had not qualified herself sexually with you and had not earned your "investments" .

 

[pipe007]

thanks guys

I can see how she was using me for freebies...
sux, she really seemed to be interested in me...

I didn't spend that much money luckily, but a hunch in my stomach told me that this is the kind of girl that will end up cheating on a lame AFC who spends all his work and money to make her happy

hellll noo, well it took me 5 dates to find out lol

 

[jophil28]

I can see how she was using me for freebies...
sux, she really seemed to be interested in me...

" ..she SEEMED interested in me .."
Of course she did. She had to offer you some 'interest' in order to keep your wallet open. She knew what all women know - showing interest in a guy will bring him closer . Some genuinely want a realtionship with you, and others genuinely want a relationship with your Visa card.
Hard to tell the difference when you are spurging on gifts, dinners, tix and drinks.

 

[Kailex]

The one of the giveaways was her arranging a few of her girls to go clubbing with you. Why did she do that ? Because she knows that a bunch of chicks together in a club looks like a bunch of single available women with one guy as a "friend".

Everything seemed virtually fine until I read THAT part.
A girl with high level interest wouldn't take you to a club with her friends. She'd want to have you all to herself. Why? Because there's no way she'd risk one of her own friends trying to snatch you away.

Once she included friends and I had read you guys didn't have sex, I knew right away that something wasn't right, specially since she's Puerto Rican. You can lay the sexuality a little more on them than say a Caucasian woman. When I saw that third date and then the "period"... GAME OVER.

Once she had to buy her own drink, she knew it was REALLY game over.

If I find out that a girl I am going out with invites her friends over, I either decline or I take my own car just in case I want to leave with someone else.

Consider this a lesson learned. Everyone in this thread is right on the money.

 

[Mike32ct]

I don't recommend taking a date to a club unless it's someone you trust and have been dating a while. There's too much aggressive sausage to distract a girl that you are only casually seeing.

I also agree that it was no longer a "date" once she brought friends.

 

[saab1981]

It may take a little while to realise, but you had a lucky escape dude, think of it as a lesson well learnt!

 

[pipe007]

Wow, I did get my insight!!

learning that lesson!!!!

and I thought I knew all this material, and it happened to me, first time I understand the part that she really invited other 3 single girls in the car and me... its true, she probably told them I was just the friend that comes along....

truth is I could have hit on them If I wanted to...
I was gonna give her the benefit of doubt that night, since last time she told me she had her period, my plan was to tell her to drop her friends first at the end of the night and then to park in my house and then get some action inside the parking lot where its safe to have sex in the car, and if she said again that she had her period, then I knew what to do and next her...

but it didn't happen

when I decided not to spend more money on her, its because I could sense that something was wrong, and also, I hate to spend more money than I have to on a night..... lol

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

OP let me tell you an experience I had with two women I was dating a while back that could relate to your post.

I asked a girl out which I've met 1 on 1 around 6-7 times. I told her a couple friends are coming out with us as well. She responded, "It's okay... If you want to spend time with your friends we can hang out another time"

This made me think "Oh sh*t, she wants me all for herself" which is a good thing. I changed the plans so it was just her and myself, she later became my gf.

The point is you should keep this in mind for next time a girl wants you to join her and her friends. If she doesn't setup another date with you or change her plans, she's just not that interested.

The second example would be a girl I dated who was super into me. She had an all girls night out. She texted me a few times, I asked her if I could come along. She saiid "Sorry I can't let you join us, I don't want my girlfriends hitting on you".

The point is she wanted to keep me for herself. (We were FB's)

Don't bring a girl you are dating to places that are meat markets where she can be possibly picked up by other guys. Don't call her out with your friends either.

By the way guys... Doesn't Mystery mention not to take a girl out for dinner or spend a lot of money on her if you're not getting anything physical? I'm pretty sure he does.