I need help with this one

[guywhoneedshelp]

The other day I went out on a whim and decided to IM this girl who's screen name had been sitting on my buddy list collecting dust. I met her at a party about a year and a half ago, so I figured what the hell, I'll see if she remembers me.

She remembered who I was and we got into talking. She told me she was going to school in the city and I told her "oh I go there often to visit my Uncle, you should show me around sometime."

She gave me her number and then I sent her another IM 2 days ago letting her no I was going to be there tomorrow (Thursday)

She seemed really excited, saying I was her first visitor, etc. I get into the city yesterday, go sarging with r0cky from this site, then go to McDonalds to eat and then Dave and Busters to watch the football game. I was having fun so I called her at like 9:45 (she said she got out of class at 9:30) and told her I just wanted to finish the game and I'd come over. She told me take my time, so I did, finished the game, and then went over there.

Called her when I got there so she could come to the front desk and sign me in, whatever. I go into her dorm, meet her roommates, have a lot of fun talking to all these girls, she pours me a drink, doing good.

Finally around 11:30 she says "wanna go explore" so we go out together and walk around. I told her while we were in the elevator, "hey I had a lot of fun thanks for having me over". She says something like "yea you should come over on a weekend when we all go out and party! you can bring friends to occupy my friends! It's rare to meet a straight guy around here at F.I.T, they'll be all over them"

we are just chatting and strolling around the street and I said something like "hey your friends are probably jealous then, since you took me outside all to yourself." she responds with a "haha they probably don't even know you're straight. There's mostly gays around here, we're used to it."

We hang out and I kinda stumble here, telling her I was in no rush. But I did say "lets check what time the trains are coming, then I want a drink"

So we go into the station and I see the next train is at like 12 something, so we hang out for a little bit while I drink a snapple.

This is where I have questions. This girl was incredibly nervous. She kept digging for things to talk about, as if she needed to entertain me or something. She'd whip out her phone, show me pictures, tell me stories about them, etc. She's kinda nerdy I guess but I really wasn't turned off by it, it just made it hard for me to read her IOI's (if any)

She got into a conversation with how many guys she kissed since she started going to school here 3 weeks ago. (I know, silly conversation) She says 3 guys so far, so I say "oh so I'd be the forth?" she says "well...I was drunk all 3 of those times...and I've only met you once before today." I give her a comment "oh so we'll have to hang out a third time then since this is only our second time meeting."

We get up so I could see what track my train is on, I told her "well, my train's gonna be here in 10 minutes. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. I know you have to be up early for class" she says "you sure?" I said "yea it's only 10 minutes."

Now I dunno if she was desperate to get away from me or if she really was just nervous because she immediately hugged me and said "okay." I told her "this is where I will NOT kiss you" she laughed a little then took off. As she walked away I stared at her...and this chick to my left gave me one of those "I know what's going on" looks...as I watched her go up the escalator and disappear.

I start writing her a text message, to say thanks for having me over, I had fun. But suddenly I receive a message from her. She says "sorry I'm so lame"

I respond "hey its ok. I had a lot of fun and it was nice getting to know you and meet your friends. Hopefully we can do this again some time"

She hasn't responded and we haven't spoken since.

I've never dealt with a situation like this. I'm not sure if this girl is challenging me, or if she just has no interest. I'm not familiar with the "new york city" lifestyle but this girl seems against whoring around like a sex in the city girl and says she's only kissed people since she's been away.

I have no idea if there was low interest or if this girl was just afraid of boring me. I reminded her constantly that I was glad I came, I had a lot of fun, thanks so much, etc. But the whole time she seemed like she needed to entertainment. I told her at one point when she was showing me things on her phone "you don't need to entertain me. I enjoy just talking to you and hearing your stories (which some were pretty interesting)"

She would say "yea well I'm kinda lame" and I don't know if this is low self esteem or what.

I'm having problems reading this situation. Any thoughts/opinions would be appreciated. I kinda like this girls personality a lot and always did, but the fact that it seems like such a challenge is attracting me to her even more.

I always thought people who made threads focusing on one girl needed to stop worrying about it. But there's just something about this one. Discuss...

 

[sprint]

Well since I read the whole thing I'll say something.

I think that this girl likes you. I mean think about it. She's constantly trying to enertain you and qualify herself to you. That's perfect. You have her right where you want. Now, I don't think you should have gone and said all that stuff about having a good time, but you should be able to recover. You don't need to respond to everything she says. Also, I think when you said "you don't need to entertain me. I enjoy just talking to you and hearing your stories" was pretty lame. You should have used a C&F line like "it's OK you don't need to keep qualifying yourself to me" or just something along those lines.

I can see that you kinda started to turn into an AFC when you realized things were going well. Just remember that being and acting like an AFC is bad. Don't let it happen.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Well since I read the whole thing I'll say something.

I think that this girl likes you. I mean think about it. She's constantly trying to enertain you and qualify herself to you. That's perfect. You have her right where you want. Now, I don't think you should have gone and said all that stuff about having a good time, but you should be able to recover. You don't need to respond to everything she says. Also, I think when you said "you don't need to entertain me. I enjoy just talking to you and hearing your stories" was pretty lame. You should have used a C&F line like "it's OK you don't need to keep qualifying yourself to me" or just something along those lines.

I can see that you kinda started to turn into an AFC when you realized things were going well. Just remember that being and acting like an AFC is bad. Don't let it happen.

In regards to your comments about be acting AFC, you are absolutely right.

We've all been there at one time or another. When you like the girls personality you throw a lot of the DJ rules out the window accidentally. Hopefully it's not too late to recover.

As for your comments about her liking me, I hope you are right, and yea, you do have a point. She is qualifying herself to me and I think I interpreted it as her being a challenge to me, and what I should of been focusing on is me being a challenge to her.

I think I might may an unexpected trip out there on a Saturday or Sunday, while I'm with a friend of mine. I'll give her a call and come visit her, and hopefully by not paying attention to only her I can allow her to continue working towards me. So I really think a wingman might be useful in this situation because it will make her crave exclusive access to me (which I will give her at some point)

Keep the posts coming and thank you for reading a long post of mine it's very helpful to me.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Still haven't heard from her, but me and my friend are going to the city on Friday. Should I tell her the day before? Call her when I get there? Maybe having my friend with me will provide a much more casual atmosphere so she wont be so nervous.