"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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i need help. please read.

rapsta

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anyone ever felt this way?

i find no joy in what i usually would. i mean.. i do things almost daily that would get me all excited and stuff. things that would get me all WOW and then at the end of the day just think about it and be all happy.
but the only thing that brings me joy is being with my girlfriend.
and she's been away for 3 months now and i wont see her for 2 more months. then i will see her only 3 weeks, and after that i wont see her again for 6 months.
i get all depressed and shyt sometimes. i seriously find NO joy in nothing. i even go clubbing with my friends every weekend. i dont really wanna go clubbing.. i just do it for my friends' sake. I find no joy in it. I'm tired physically all the time. I mean.. some things are fun but its not real joy.. i don't go WOW. I feel all asocial as well. I wanna be around people as little as possible. I wanna be all for myself. And mostly i feel all down and depressed.

why the hell am i feeling this way? i can't think of it myself since my mind is all fvcked up. there gotta be a solution? have anyone felt this way before? what did you do? what can i do?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Alen-Delon

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your fuking cry baby dude. maybe it because your madly in love. jezz you sound like a chump. see your problem that you have this feeling that you gf belongs to you and your attached to her. and nothing is fun if she not around. just let it go and dont think about it too much. be fuking man not a chump

peace
 

Raptured Phoenix

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I'm a little confused....

You said:
____________
i find no joy in what i usually would. i mean.. i do things almost daily that would get me all excited and stuff. things that would get me all WOW and then at the end of the day just think about it and be all happy.
but the only thing that brings me joy is being with my girlfriend.
___________________

You find no joy in what you usually would, and the only thing that brings you joy is your girlfriend? When she was around, did you enjoy other things or was she the only thing you enjoyed?


It's always tricky to adapt to changes, and if you were ver attached to your gf, having her not be there is a significant change in your life. If she is going to be away for so long, I think you will eventually snap out of this phase.

How long has it been since shes left?
 

rapsta

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she's been away for 3 months and yeah i do find joy in other things when she is around. and yep you're probably right im a chump but what the fvck should i do? as i said.. i DONT wanna feel this way but i do..
 

squirrels

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This sounds like classic depression.

Before I suggest that you medicate it away, I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that you've got it in your head that your girlfriend has become a necessary or validating part of your life. Thus, without her, you slip into depression.

This is something that you need to address in your own head. You need to lose that dependency on things outside yourself to make you feel "complete."

I'm not saying you should dump your girlfriend or anything stupid like this. But one thing you SHOULD realize is that your life is not defined by your girlfriend's life. It is not validated by her presence. Your life is defined by YOU ALONE. It is validated by NO ONE, except maybe God if you believe in such.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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