"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

I need help in finally making the change to get girls

Deicide

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2007
Messages
491
Reaction score
4
I need help to finally make the change to get girls. I've read most of the DJ Bible, at least the beginner stuff, and have an idea of what you do to get girls, but I can't apply it. So far it doesn't fit my personality. The first time I read about giving a girl subtle signs you liked her, but never doing it vocally, it just seemed weird to me and still does. It's like "Do all these rules that don't make sense but in the end they will. I'm not trying to criticize the Bible, I just have difficulties putting it into action, and I still send Comments and Messages to a girl I really like but basically know I have no chance with who turned me down 2 and a half years ago and now has a boyfriend. I'd just like to finally get better with girls and quit being so needy and desperate and terrible with girls. And I can't pull the trigger with girls who may have interest, still seem horrified of talking to a girl on non-friendly terms. I have no problems talking to girls, but it must be on friendly terms. But finally I actually want to make the change. But so far despite all the reading, I haven't changed much at all since I was in high school. I seem to scare off girls on a regular basis. I'm also very picky with girls, if I don't have a crush on a girl I don't feel the need to ask her out and I don't seem to get crushes much anymore. I know i'm one of those nice guys and have little confidence but we all have to start somewhere. But the fact that I admit my flaws and actually want to change is something.:D :D
So what do I need to get good with girls and change? Reading the DJ Bible didn't help much, what would be the next step since you've read my flaws and problems?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

SickAgain

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 9, 2007
Messages
414
Reaction score
11
Location
Orange County
The best advice I can give is to really put yourself out there as a guy who at least TRIES to get chicks. The reasoning behind this is that girls most likely will not try to get you. If you're waiting around for a girl to seduce you, it probably won't happen. You really need to alter your mental state to where rejection doesn't affect you.

Furthermore you need to expose yourself to a situation with a lot of women just so you get used to it and you aren't a nervous wreck when you are with one. You need to break down some walls holding you back. I suggest going to a stripclub and getting a few lap dances. It's a okay to be a loser in a stripclub. Just be honest with strippers, say you're shy and you're no good with chicks. They'll be nice to you as long as you pay them.

If you're having trouble thinking about chicks in non-friendly terms, i say you do a 180 and only think about chicks in non-friendly terms. In other words, FROM NOW ON look at every chick as a girl you can get with and subtly communicate that you want to "get" with her, EC, jokes, etc. Forget about all the girls who already know you because it's be stamped in their mind that you're a non-threatening type. I personally don't give a **** about having chicks as friends. The only purpose they serve is social proof. I hate having girls as friends because all I think about is how I wanna fvck them, which I know won't happen.

As far as being picky, here's a quote, "guys can get a hard on without even thinking". I hope that puts something in perspective. But don't get me wrong you need standards and self-respect.
 
Joined
Apr 1, 2008
Messages
294
Reaction score
2
Dude this is what you do...and it is exactly what I did...
You go out there to the place you have a crush on a girl at, and talk to her...be sincere, and ask her out .

Don't act nervous..you need to practice that.. Do meditation before you leave, and tell yourself.. "I'm doing this..I'm going in there, and I am not backing out".. Set your goal simply... expect a rejection, and don't get discouraged. Remember...not every person is compatible with you..

Practice, practice, practice... Go out everyday and compliment at least one girl a day.. This is what my councellor had me do... I had to give a compliment to 10 girls a week, and I did. I even bought flowers for one.
After a while your confidence wil go up, because you'll see that girls don't think your wierd, or creepy.... They will usually smile and think you're a cool guy..when you give compliments...

Compliments should be simple... IE.. "you're the only one here that puts the right amount of mustard on my sub without having to tell.."

# " I really like talking to you about movies here....So far every movie you told me about, I have enjoyed."

# "Can I ask you something?.... You're such a cutey...seriously... " They blush everytime, lol..

Practice this for a while, and you'll get less nervous... Eventually the holy moment will come ... When you actually ask a girl out.

It's quite a feeling.... I never thought I could do it, but I made it a point in this year to get it done.. I did it, and I put many demons back into the closet that will not hunt me anymore... I'm more confident, and as of right now...... I'm searching for "The One"

If I can do it you can do it, bro.. Be true, confident, and practice your moves... Build your character and show girls that you are intrested in "them" not just a piece of A$$..
 

Deicide

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2007
Messages
491
Reaction score
4
Yeah, I like these ideas, I'd like to go to a stripclub because I've never seen tits in real life. I can tell this is going to work and it doesn't look like I'm going to do this overnight either.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Top