i need help bad

[mongoose01]

I'm going thru a breakup with my gf of about 2.5 years. She informed me that she's gonna start dating again (she's gonna start going out and she put up a profile on dating websites).

The breakup was messy, but not to get into details it involved an abortion and a wedding ring that I took back (because of some words we had).

My problem: She wants to be friends and we talk everyday but I want her back and keep asking her for forgiveness and to come back to me. Should I just stop and say fvck it.

 

[DoubleA]

Mongoose,

I don't know what to tell you. Maybe she'll calm down and speak to you. Look, it all depends on what you want. If you want her you better step up. If not then I think you should look into trying to sell the ring and move on with your life. Use this as a hard lesson learned. In some ways you'll never really get over it but you'll learn to deal with it. I'd say see if you can talk it out with her before throwing everything away. And straighten out someof the issues that you two are having.

 

[Desdinova]

She informed me that she's gonna start dating again

You've recieved your answer. She doesn't want you back. There's nothing you can do that will change her mind at this point. There's nothing magical that you can say that will make her come back to you. This kind of 5hit sucks to go through.

Being friends will her is continuing to allow her to drag your feelings through mud and rocks. You have to break away from the hold she has on you if you want to recover.

Keep the ring until you're ready to completely move on with your life, unless time isn't working with you on getting a full refund. Take small steps and you'll find yourself making progress, no matter how slow you go.

 

[jiggy]

Originally posted by mongoose01
My problem: She wants to be friends and we talk everyday but I want her back and keep asking her for forgiveness and to come back to me.

Mongoose: First off, sorry to hear about that man, it's her loss.

Here's a little advice from a friend, I just got out of a 3 year LTR myself. After the breakup, I decided to embrace my DJ heritage and started hitting on every woman that moves.

When the occasion came around that I would speak to my ex, I would drop a hint that I wasn't able to talk because I had company. Or I was busy. Sometimes I was alone, but she didn't know that! Bottom line is she was left curious as to who i was dating, how many women are there and if i was having sex with any of them.

I would/and still remain very vague about her questions. I'll just give a "yea, things are going nicely", or "she's a good girl" but I'll never tell her details about the girl, where we've gone, what we've done. I let my ex fill in with her own imagination. Which is always 1000 times worse in her mind than anything i could say......LOL

You're focus is to give a signal that "I can date other woman than you" and "You need me a lot more than I need you". I feel that this approach keeps the ex's mind focused on trying to "catch" you and "win" you back. I think this will give you more control over a relationship (that is if YOU choose to rekindle the LTR), and from this day on, don't ask for her forgiveness. The power goes right back to her. In fact, don't ever ask a woman for forgiveness ever!

A little side note, after dating a couple other women, you might decide that you like one of the new girls more than your ex. So just keep going forward, no looking back!

Good luck bro!

 

[NewMan]

Ditto Jiggy....

Right now there is not much you can do...

The one thing you should do is NOT CALL HER.

Be busy... "Miss" a few of her calls... That kind of thing.

 

[mongoose01]

the last convo i had was around 7 yesterday. she calls me today and asks why i didn't call her back or this morning (i'm usually always calling and always call in the morning).

i just say why didn't you call me? if you wanted to talk you had all last night and all day today to call.

what the fvck yall.

no i'm not gonna call her...dudes.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by mongoose01
the last convo i had was around 7 yesterday. she calls me today and asks why i didn't call her back or this morning (i'm usually always calling and always call in the morning).

i just say why didn't you call me? if you wanted to talk you had all last night and all day today to call.

what the fvck yall.

no i'm not gonna call her...dudes.

Let me tell what's going to happen: You are going to keep being her friend thinking you are working on getting back together, and she is going to keep being your friend so she doesnt feel guilty about 1 breaking up with you 2 the dude or dudes she is screwing. Then you are going to find out about one of these dudes and feel like an dummy, and angry; she will calmly let you know that "me and you are just friends" and "I already told you I was dating around".

Whenever you are chasing a woman to get back together with you that means she doesnt want to be with you like that. And trust when she said she wants to start dating again she really means that. She will be if not has been already screwing any piece put in front of her homey.

 

[NewMan]

Agreed...

There is nothing that will put off a woman more than...

"I don't want you to call me anymore - we cannot be friends"


Use it.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Gooseman, why torture yourself by keeping a daily account of a woman who doesn't want you?? I know it is difficult cosidering the amount of your previous commitment to her but today is a new day and you cannot see things between you two as they once were. She is moving on with her life - I suggest you do the same - there is another woman out there for you to cherish - this girl is not her!! Do not continue your contact with her - u r too emotionally involved!!

 

[mongoose01]

You guys are right. I'm cutting off contact. The sh!t right now is painful. I just read in a book (48 laws of power) that you should ignore what you cannot have. The book suggested that law is one of the most powerful in the book. It also said to ignore wounds and let them heal. I'll check back in later.

Yo-I kinda like the gooseman instead of mongoose

 

[cave dweller]

hurt.......

Hey,

As bad as it hurts you must cut it off 'cold turkey'.

Stop all:

Phone calls.....
Seeing her.....
E-mails.......
What the hell ever...............

You must break off all contact with her and move on.

Trust me.

cave dweller

 

[flexion_]

Yep its painful but you should cut all contact.
She may deserve a "I don't think we can be friends" line so she knows you are cutting contact but just be direct.

If in some way you want to start things up someday in the future its the only way it will happen - nothing you do or say can help and can only make things worse.