I need HELP!! ASAP

[Reykhel]

you've got to break all dependencies compadre

you are but a slave otherwise

 

[salinechow]

Guys, I appreciate your care and responses. Im serious. Especially in this deframed post of mine, and somewhat, with this girl, deframed state. The advice though can seem a little canned at times. I literally do not have the time for all the plates I have spinning and am constantly dropping and qualifying girls because I am just to busy with life and chicks. I have actually created a monster. I am constantly being approached, girls giving there #s friends of mine to have me call or take them out. PLATES, is not my f^cking problem.

Many of the lessons here I have actually adopted into my own game. Its mine now. Guys ask me all the time how I do it. They give my # to their friends to call me for help and advice. Im not saying my game is even close to perfect. But with all the blue pill chumps out there, even 25% real execution and adaptation of a DJ mindset, you stand out and tall amongst most.

My point, is not to brag, actually the contrary. I come here for the tough love, balance, rawness and opinions, to constantly progress and refine and recalibrate and share. Yet, the canned 101 stuff is not something I need.

I have said it many times, I have a weak spot in text, because I tend to over think things in writing. I have a weak spot for this oneitis. For whatever reason, the more girls I date, have sex with, or even develop with and enjoy, makes me remember more than forget, how I would love another interaction with oneitis.

Call it deep seeded psychological issues. Fine, I can accept that. I even have awareness of it. I have shared that here too. Part of me even finds life a little banale with constant wins. Call it masochism maybe, but I never did better in my whole life till I loved this girl and got broken by her. Call it insecurities, maybe, maybe its is. Maybe no matter what I conquer I dont feel like I add up until I attain the golden fleece. Perhaps.

Yet, I still dont see, why, when a man comes before you seeking advice for achieving decision he already made, and feels equipped to handle, no one comes along side him. I just have trouble seeing the value in how one dimensional the advice can be sometimes.

Look, I want this girl. Live or die. Pass or fail. I can handle the fallout. It will NOT change my game. I want to see if what I say I am, what I say I am capable of is indeed real. I even think a fail at this, will be as beneficial as a win.

Im not even pedestaling the way I thought I might. I see her flaws. I know she wont add up to the "ideal", parts of my mind have created. Maybe its pride? Maybe sheer blindness or stupidity? But...

Maybe, maybe even likely, doesn't anyone want to see if I can take the value of this community and apply it to the real test of seeing if I can overcome a oneitis enough to have her chase me?

Tinder game...Check+
Gym....Check++
Professional progress.....Check
Cold approach.....Check+
Personal development projects....Check
Plates....Check
SEx....Check
Self worth and value progress....Check
Helping others, Volunteer work.....Check
Style and hygiene....Check+
Combat sport and hobbies....Check
Mental and psychological heath pursuits....Check
Social network......Check

This girl has absolutely no chance of derailing that. And I landed her before I ever really even knew any better.

I am confident enough for the win, but more importantly I am confident enough for the fail.

Either way, I still am humble enough to understand, there will be great value in all your inputs. Yet, Id love a little more than mana. Substance please.

That is, if she answers. Or than indeed, I have my answer and this is all moot.

Thanks.

-Saline

 

[Asmodeus]

I have said it many times, I have a weak spot in text, because I tend to over think things in writing. I have a weak spot for this oneitis. For whatever reason, the more girls I date, have sex with, or even develop with and enjoy, makes me remember more than forget, how I would love another interaction with oneitis.

Alright, you made your choice I can see. You are a self willed person so it was your choice to make. However, just keep your guard up. There is a weak spot there, you are more vulnerable to this one than you honestly think you are, maybe a bit of pride that is blinding you to that weak spot. If you are dead set on talking with her and going out with her then just remember to keep your guard up as best as you can. People here just do not want you to make the same mistake. The mistake that broke you down and brought you here. You changed a lot in your life, made things better for yourself since you have been here. Just remember what brought you here and what you learned. And if you make the same mistake, then perhaps it will be just as good for you as a learning experience. Time will tell...

 

[dustmuffin]

Guys, I appreciate your care and responses. Im serious. Especially in this deframed post of mine, and somewhat, with this girl, deframed state. The advice though can seem a little canned at times. I literally do not have the time for all the plates I have spinning and am constantly dropping and qualifying girls because I am just to busy with life and chicks. I have actually created a monster. I am constantly being approached, girls giving there #s friends of mine to have me call or take them out. PLATES, is not my f^cking problem.

Many of the lessons here I have actually adopted into my own game. Its mine now. Guys ask me all the time how I do it. They give my # to their friends to call me for help and advice. Im not saying my game is even close to perfect. But with all the blue pill chumps out there, even 25% real execution and adaptation of a DJ mindset, you stand out and tall amongst most.

My point, is not to brag, actually the contrary. I come here for the tough love, balance, rawness and opinions, to constantly progress and refine and recalibrate and share. Yet, the canned 101 stuff is not something I need.

I have said it many times, I have a weak spot in text, because I tend to over think things in writing. I have a weak spot for this oneitis. For whatever reason, the more girls I date, have sex with, or even develop with and enjoy, makes me remember more than forget, how I would love another interaction with oneitis.

Call it deep seeded psychological issues. Fine, I can accept that. I even have awareness of it. I have shared that here too. Part of me even finds life a little banale with constant wins. Call it masochism maybe, but I never did better in my whole life till I loved this girl and got broken by her. Call it insecurities, maybe, maybe its is. Maybe no matter what I conquer I dont feel like I add up until I attain the golden fleece. Perhaps.

Yet, I still dont see, why, when a man comes before you seeking advice for achieving decision he already made, and feels equipped to handle, no one comes along side him. I just have trouble seeing the value in how one dimensional the advice can be sometimes.

Look, I want this girl. Live or die. Pass or fail. I can handle the fallout. It will NOT change my game. I want to see if what I say I am, what I say I am capable of is indeed real. I even think a fail at this, will be as beneficial as a win.

Im not even pedestaling the way I thought I might. I see her flaws. I know she wont add up to the "ideal", parts of my mind have created. Maybe its pride? Maybe sheer blindness or stupidity? But...

Maybe, maybe even likely, doesn't anyone want to see if I can take the value of this community and apply it to the real test of seeing if I can overcome a oneitis enough to have her chase me?

Tinder game...Check+
Gym....Check++
Professional progress.....Check
Cold approach.....Check+
Personal development projects....Check
Plates....Check
SEx....Check
Self worth and value progress....Check
Helping others, Volunteer work.....Check
Style and hygiene....Check+
Combat sport and hobbies....Check
Mental and psychological heath pursuits....Check
Social network......Check

This girl has absolutely no chance of derailing that. And I landed her before I ever really even knew any better.

I am confident enough for the win, but more importantly I am confident enough for the fail.

Either way, I still am humble enough to understand, there will be great value in all your inputs. Yet, Id love a little more than mana. Substance please.

That is, if she answers. Or than indeed, I have my answer and this is all moot.

Thanks.

-Saline

I hope it works out for you. We are just concerned about your well being. keep us updated.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

The thing is, it's just never been done before so none of the guys here can give you advice on what to do based on experience, rather, just what they WOULD do given the chance.

If you were another person looking at this situation, what advice would you give yourself?

 

[dustmuffin]

Guys, I appreciate your care and responses. Im serious. Especially in this deframed post of mine, and somewhat, with this girl, deframed state. The advice though can seem a little canned at times. I literally do not have the time for all the plates I have spinning and am constantly dropping and qualifying girls because I am just to busy with life and chicks. I have actually created a monster. I am constantly being approached, girls giving there #s friends of mine to have me call or take them out. PLATES, is not my f^cking problem.

Many of the lessons here I have actually adopted into my own game. Its mine now. Guys ask me all the time how I do it. They give my # to their friends to call me for help and advice. Im not saying my game is even close to perfect. But with all the blue pill chumps out there, even 25% real execution and adaptation of a DJ mindset, you stand out and tall amongst most.

My point, is not to brag, actually the contrary. I come here for the tough love, balance, rawness and opinions, to constantly progress and refine and recalibrate and share. Yet, the canned 101 stuff is not something I need.

I have said it many times, I have a weak spot in text, because I tend to over think things in writing. I have a weak spot for this oneitis. For whatever reason, the more girls I date, have sex with, or even develop with and enjoy, makes me remember more than forget, how I would love another interaction with oneitis.

Call it deep seeded psychological issues. Fine, I can accept that. I even have awareness of it. I have shared that here too. Part of me even finds life a little banale with constant wins. Call it masochism maybe, but I never did better in my whole life till I loved this girl and got broken by her. Call it insecurities, maybe, maybe its is. Maybe no matter what I conquer I dont feel like I add up until I attain the golden fleece. Perhaps.

Yet, I still dont see, why, when a man comes before you seeking advice for achieving decision he already made, and feels equipped to handle, no one comes along side him. I just have trouble seeing the value in how one dimensional the advice can be sometimes.

Look, I want this girl. Live or die. Pass or fail. I can handle the fallout. It will NOT change my game. I want to see if what I say I am, what I say I am capable of is indeed real. I even think a fail at this, will be as beneficial as a win.

Im not even pedestaling the way I thought I might. I see her flaws. I know she wont add up to the "ideal", parts of my mind have created. Maybe its pride? Maybe sheer blindness or stupidity? But...

Maybe, maybe even likely, doesn't anyone want to see if I can take the value of this community and apply it to the real test of seeing if I can overcome a oneitis enough to have her chase me?

Tinder game...Check+
Gym....Check++
Professional progress.....Check
Cold approach.....Check+
Personal development projects....Check
Plates....Check
SEx....Check
Self worth and value progress....Check
Helping others, Volunteer work.....Check
Style and hygiene....Check+
Combat sport and hobbies....Check
Mental and psychological heath pursuits....Check
Social network......Check

This girl has absolutely no chance of derailing that. And I landed her before I ever really even knew any better.

I am confident enough for the win, but more importantly I am confident enough for the fail.

Either way, I still am humble enough to understand, there will be great value in all your inputs. Yet, Id love a little more than mana. Substance please.

That is, if she answers. Or than indeed, I have my answer and this is all moot.

Thanks.

-Saline

How did it work out?

 

[salinechow]

The thing is, it's just never been done before so none of the guys here can give you advice on what to do based on experience, rather, just what they WOULD do given the chance.
If you were another person looking at this situation, what advice would you give yourself?

I loved this insight. I dont like to talk in "always" and "nevers"....yet maybe you are right. Maybe that's why I happen feel like a lonely voice when asking for opinions and advice.

More so, I do what you suggested ALL THE TIME! I constantly ask myself, what advice would I give myself if I were listening to the experience and helping a friend. Its incredibly wise advice to give to me, its also, incredibly wise for me to give that advice to others. And I do, whenever approached from the guys I help out in real life. BUT, and its a big BUT....Thats exactly were the blue pill AFC beta insecurity cancer dwells. No matter how good you get at adopting certain concepts, ones ego ALWAYS thinks ones own situation is special. The girl is special. The things you felt together are special. The things she said, are special. The sex, her body, smells, tastes, and laughs, are all more special. In that, it becomes so hard to advise yourself. And easy, to objectively advise others. The internal wrestle of fantasy and reality. The tunnel vision of ones own experience.

Thats why I come here. The many voices of reality. Same as I would offer another. Not that I accept it, maybe, always. But...At least I hear it. There is value in that. A lot of it. Why?

Because, even when I live the truth( a truth I could not always see mind you) I can still fantasize. If you can balance that, I think there is ba lls involved, wisdom and gain. There is HOPE. And hope takes ba lls. Hope takes ball s because it means you take shots, but never are dependant on the outcome.

I came here for advice on this situation because I knew you would all try to help me take the best shot I could at hope, and, if it didnt work, I was completely ready and grounded enough in the life and progress I have made to mot care if it didn't work out. I just wanted my best shot. Casue if I got it, I also knew, I could succeed with it. -------->

How did it work out?

It didnt. I sent her this message back. " Great song. Now, lets listen to it together. Meet me in the city this weekend."

She responded with nothing. Its been 3 days.

My thoughts:

She was drinking and lonely on a Sat. Night. She has been thinking about me and our deep connection and my unique value in her life. EXACTLY why, she is not that interested in it. Its too much, its to real, and even though she is frustrated with her more shallow interactions, she is not completely done with them yet. I know this girl. She cant handle, what it is, she know she wants.
The simple thing is, she heard a song, thought of me, got lubricated enough to tell me, and the next day, recoiled. At least I know where she stands.

No big deal. I am happy I polarized her. I got my answer.

Do I love her...? In my minds eye yes I do. Do I need her, no I do not. My love for her, for me, does not require possessing her, having her, or needing to f^ck her. She is my oneitis and I have found a place for that. She can stay right where she is. Its helped me more than hindered me. If she decides to show up, I will keep that same mentality. I love you Ly. But I dont need you.

In a way, I think that's one of the greatest lessons one can take from our community. Be in touch with what you love, what you want, what you need, but also, be completely independent of it.

I like that I can still feel her, hope for her, want her, use her, as my yardstick. It motivates me. I Tinder on. I play on. I enjoy other women. I enjoy working out. I enjoy professional growth. I enjoy life. A lot. If we ever rekindle, she'll enjoy me again, with the upgraded package. If not, Im sure another girl like her will eventually come along. If not either, Ill still enjoy the pain and progres without either outcome.

THATS the value of the red pill I think. I prepare my frame for whomever can seize its value. If her, awesome! A huge win for all! If not her, someone else perhaps. If no one? Its a lot of fun trying.

Look, overall, I had a really good gut feeling about this. I thought, this weekend, I would be with her. In all ways. Yet, I promise you, I really dont care that I wont be. I was sort of surprised actually, how easy it was to not care.

P.S Dont ask a girl out on Easter weekend. I didnt pick up on that till after I sent the message. F^ckin oneitis for ya. Tunnel vision.

Anyway, thanks everyone.

Ill keep you posted.

-Saline

 

[Tictac]

It didnt. I sent her this message back. " Great song. Now, lets listen to it together. Meet me in the city this weekend."

She responded with nothing. Its been 3 days.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. It's a low probability thing at best. But you gave it a shot and it doesn't seem like you're blowing yourself up over not hearing back.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Hindsight is 20/20, heh ...

I have always taken the position that the minute I engage the "what ifs," I have already lost.

The girl is supposed to think the "what ifs" about YOU.
The girl is supposed to fantasize about YOU.
The girl is supposed to reach out to YOU.
The girl is supposed to make herself readily available for YOU.
The girl is supposed to willingly submit to YOU.
...

I never wonder. Unless the door is FULLY open for me to proceed, I will close it. This is the only frame which you should engage from.

 

[JohnChops]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. It's a low probability thing at best. But you gave it a shot and it doesn't seem like you're blowing yourself up over not hearing back.

this. if you were going into a mental breakdown after just sending her that text and her not responding back after 3 days then you'd have an issue. I say you have your emotions under control bud, better luck next time.

 

[dustmuffin]

I broke up with my current x three years ago. I sent her a text a year ago and we got back together. Then she dumped me a year later. You can get back together. She just has to be in the right mood to try. I just happened to be lucky when I sent her that text. Right time, right place, right feels. Won't happen again though.

 

[salinechow]

P.S Dont ask a girl out on Easter weekend. I didnt pick up on that till after I sent the message. F^ckin oneitis for ya. Tunnel vision.

She responded:

"Its Easter"

 

[Jordski]

She responded:

"Its Easter"

Awwwwwww, just that? Arent you one of those guys who gave great advice? Although i think that means game over but i do hope youll get back with this girl. Love is a mean thing.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I loved this insight. I dont like to talk in "always" and "nevers"....yet maybe you are right. Maybe that's why I happen feel like a lonely voice when asking for opinions and advice.

More so, I do what you suggested ALL THE TIME! I constantly ask myself, what advice would I give myself if I were listening to the experience and helping a friend. Its incredibly wise advice to give to me, its also, incredibly wise for me to give that advice to others. And I do, whenever approached from the guys I help out in real life. BUT, and its a big BUT....Thats exactly were the blue pill AFC beta insecurity cancer dwells. No matter how good you get at adopting certain concepts, ones ego ALWAYS thinks ones own situation is special. The girl is special. The things you felt together are special. The things she said, are special. The sex, her body, smells, tastes, and laughs, are all more special. In that, it becomes so hard to advise yourself. And easy, to objectively advise others. The internal wrestle of fantasy and reality. The tunnel vision of ones own experience.

Thats why I come here. The many voices of reality. Same as I would offer another. Not that I accept it, maybe, always. But...At least I hear it. There is value in that. A lot of it. Why?

Because, even when I live the truth( a truth I could not always see mind you) I can still fantasize. If you can balance that, I think there is ba lls involved, wisdom and gain. There is HOPE. And hope takes ba lls. Hope takes ball s because it means you take shots, but never are dependant on the outcome.

I came here for advice on this situation because I knew you would all try to help me take the best shot I could at hope, and, if it didnt work, I was completely ready and grounded enough in the life and progress I have made to mot care if it didn't work out. I just wanted my best shot. Casue if I got it, I also knew, I could succeed with it. -------->



It didnt. I sent her this message back. " Great song. Now, lets listen to it together. Meet me in the city this weekend."

She responded with nothing. Its been 3 days.

My thoughts:

She was drinking and lonely on a Sat. Night. She has been thinking about me and our deep connection and my unique value in her life. EXACTLY why, she is not that interested in it. Its too much, its to real, and even though she is frustrated with her more shallow interactions, she is not completely done with them yet. I know this girl. She cant handle, what it is, she know she wants.
The simple thing is, she heard a song, thought of me, got lubricated enough to tell me, and the next day, recoiled. At least I know where she stands.

No big deal. I am happy I polarized her. I got my answer.

Do I love her...? In my minds eye yes I do. Do I need her, no I do not. My love for her, for me, does not require possessing her, having her, or needing to f^ck her. She is my oneitis and I have found a place for that. She can stay right where she is. Its helped me more than hindered me. If she decides to show up, I will keep that same mentality. I love you Ly. But I dont need you.

In a way, I think that's one of the greatest lessons one can take from our community. Be in touch with what you love, what you want, what you need, but also, be completely independent of it.

I like that I can still feel her, hope for her, want her, use her, as my yardstick. It motivates me. I Tinder on. I play on. I enjoy other women. I enjoy working out. I enjoy professional growth. I enjoy life. A lot. If we ever rekindle, she'll enjoy me again, with the upgraded package. If not, Im sure another girl like her will eventually come along. If not either, Ill still enjoy the pain and progres without either outcome.

THATS the value of the red pill I think. I prepare my frame for whomever can seize its value. If her, awesome! A huge win for all! If not her, someone else perhaps. If no one? Its a lot of fun trying.

Look, overall, I had a really good gut feeling about this. I thought, this weekend, I would be with her. In all ways. Yet, I promise you, I really dont care that I wont be. I was sort of surprised actually, how easy it was to not care.

P.S Dont ask a girl out on Easter weekend. I didnt pick up on that till after I sent the message. F^ckin oneitis for ya. Tunnel vision.

Anyway, thanks everyone.

Ill keep you posted.

-Saline

I remember reading an intuitive post from the DJ Bible by cinetix and your writing style and intuition match his.

Very insightful post otherwise, you did give way into other aspects of the red pill that most otherwise wouldn't have thought about. Anyway, sorry it didn't work out for you. But like you said, it takes balls to hope, for anything really. Nice job on everything else leading up to this because you aren't destroyed by this, and don't really seem ro care. And that mastery over oneself is true power.