I need experts opinion on this chick and situation

[captain55]

I am 23, dealing with a highly entitled, extremely desirable chick in her late 20's that is difficult for me to diagnose. This chick has the creme of the crop of men after her. While Im not rich yet, I am an NPC bodybuilder so very few men can compete with me ( physically) That's what got her to go out with me in the first place. She knows Im a personal trainer and not some big time lawyer or doctor.

- The first date went well. I drove an hour to see her because she insisted, figured she was worth it....I ended up making out with her. The next day I decided to test her interest level and it was there. I successfully got her to drive an hour to my house to take my car to an amusement park with me.

-She knows it's my parents house, I invite her in we talk a bit hang out then hit the amusement park and grab lunch. but my parents were there (no my parents weren't there when I brought her over). I figure there was a possibility that she might of lost interest so I decided to wait it out. Sure enough, she is still talking to me like she didn't care.

-I make dinner plans with her on a Friday morning for saturday night, call and make reservations and she agrees. But this ***** wont stop texting me. Saturday morning she greets with a good morning text which I took a few hours to respond to, then flakes last minute.

-I still keep gaming her, and she invites me to the gym with her. I only have about 30 minutes and Im in jeans and a dress shirt so I just talk with her for a bit, but I still manage to make out with her in the parking lot. Again I test her interest level.......5 minutes later after I see her she blows up my phone. I had successfully sparked her interest again just by seeing her.

Anyways we keep talking after that but before i could even plan the next date we get into it over a few things. Not a huge deal for me, I know from experience that the ego needs to be punctured before the ***** opens by reminding women in their late 20's they are NOT as hot as they were at 22. I told her straight up these games wont be tolerated by you, if you were 20 maybe I would let you get away with it but I dont deal with this **** from a 27 year old.

After I told her that she responds....I ignore her. The next day she decides she doesn't wanna talk to me. I think I hurt her feelings, she has told me before that she "doesn't feel pretty anymore" so what you think fellas? I think what I said really hit her hard because it was a nice dose of reality.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Would she care about hurting your feelings?

Why do care if whether or not if she wants to talk to you?

What is your end goal and do you think what you've done thus far is facilitating achieving those goals?

 

[captain55]

Would she care about hurting your feelings?

Why do care if whether or not if she wants to talk to you?

What is your end goal and do you think what you've done thus far is facilitating achieving those goals?

I dont care about any of that. I just want to date her, or at the very least sleep with her. To answer your last question yes bro I do, because I know the game I had with her would of worked with the most difficult of women in her age range and of her caliber. How many legit 9/10's out there wont sleep with a guy because he has too many bad boy type tendencies? That's almost unheard of.... that's why I am truly puzzled. Women that hot usually don't fear the pump and dump in my experience. I also honestly feel that had I lived closer things would of turned out differently, she expressed to me before even going on a date with me that distance makes it difficult to get close to a person, but that she would be "open minded" to it. So part of me knew it was gonna be tough...

 

[Desdinova]

Anyways we keep talking after that but before i could even plan the next date we get into it over a few things.

WTF did you talk about? You left out the most important part of your story.

I told her straight up these games wont be tolerated by you, if you were 20 maybe I would let you get away with it but I dont deal with this **** from a 27 year old.

You cannot lay down the law with a new woman that you're dating. She needs to be significantly emotionally invested in you before you can do that. Her IL may have been high, but she wasn't invested emotionally.

This one's done. It's time to move on.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Ok first of all how long have you been seeing this chick

Secondly apart from kissing her what have you done sexually with her ?

When you meet a new girl you’ve got a window of around 2-3 weeks in which you have to facilitate an opportunity for her to sleep with you

theres no if’s or buts you have to penetrate her in this time or she will start convincing herself your not interested in her

Its a paradox because women say they don’t want men to pressure them for sex early on in the relationshipbut in reality thats exactly what they need and want

 

[Lozboss]

WTF did you talk about? You left out the most important part of your story.



You cannot lay down the law with a new woman that you're dating. She needs to be significantly emotionally invested in you before you can do that. Her IL may have been high, but she wasn't invested emotionally.

This one's done. It's time to move on.

This.

It seems you are affected by your ego.

Note: Ego does NOT equal having pride/dignity.

You can't lay down the law so early on. If women create drama then let them, just remove yourself from it. They will soon learn that you won't play ball.

As Yoda says: much to learn you still have young Padawan

 

[RangerMIke]

You have already lost with this woman. You are way too invested and you are spending WAY too much time thinking about her. If you want to be a true DJ then you MUST control your emotions and NOT put any woman on a pedestal.

Trust me she knows exactly how you feel about her. When you get in a situation where you are thinking too much about one woman you MUST go out and ask other women out. This is what I do... you MUST go against your instincts with women, if you don't really have feeling for a woman, go ahead and pursue her for sex, when you start getting feeling you MUST back off.

If she thinks she has you then she is not going to think about you, if she isn't thinking about you she will not fall for you. It's really that simple.

 

[kingofthelions]

I am 23, dealing with a highly entitled, extremely desirable chick in her late 20's that is difficult for me to diagnose. This chick has the creme of the crop of men after her. While Im not rich yet, I am an NPC bodybuilder so very few men can compete with me ( physically) That's what got her to go out with me in the first place. She knows Im a personal trainer and not some big time lawyer or doctor.

- The first date went well. I drove an hour to see her because she insisted, figured she was worth it....I ended up making out with her. The next day I decided to test her interest level and it was there. I successfully got her to drive an hour to my house to take my car to an amusement park with me.

-She knows it's my parents house, I invite her in we talk a bit hang out then hit the amusement park and grab lunch. but my parents were there (no my parents weren't there when I brought her over). I figure there was a possibility that she might of lost interest so I decided to wait it out. Sure enough, she is still talking to me like she didn't care.

-I make dinner plans with her on a Friday morning for saturday night, call and make reservations and she agrees. But this ***** wont stop texting me. Saturday morning she greets with a good morning text which I took a few hours to respond to, then flakes last minute.

-I still keep gaming her, and she invites me to the gym with her. I only have about 30 minutes and Im in jeans and a dress shirt so I just talk with her for a bit, but I still manage to make out with her in the parking lot. Again I test her interest level.......5 minutes later after I see her she blows up my phone. I had successfully sparked her interest again just by seeing her.

Anyways we keep talking after that but before i could even plan the next date we get into it over a few things. Not a huge deal for me, I know from experience that the ego needs to be punctured before the ***** opens by reminding women in their late 20's they are NOT as hot as they were at 22. I told her straight up these games wont be tolerated by you, if you were 20 maybe I would let you get away with it but I dont deal with this **** from a 27 year old.

After I told her that she responds....I ignore her. The next day she decides she doesn't wanna talk to me. I think I hurt her feelings, she has told me before that she "doesn't feel pretty anymore" so what you think fellas? I think what I said really hit her hard because it was a nice dose of reality.

Your to invested. Shes showed you that shes insecure so get her comfortable When you see her again escalate the situation past making out.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Honestly, guy: as soon as you said you saw her the next day, I knew this thing wasn't going to last...

 

[fastlife]

I am 23, dealing with a highly entitled, extremely desirable chick.

Pick one.

I am 23, dealing with a(an) extremely desirable chick in her late 20's that is difficult for me to diagnose.

Pick one.

This chick has the creme of the crop of men after her. While Im not rich yet, I am an NPC bodybuilder so very few men can compete with me ( physically) That's what got her to go out with me in the first place. She knows Im a personal trainer and not some big time lawyer or doctor.

See ego investment. See manipulation.

The first date went well. I drove an hour to see her because she insisted, figured she was worth it....I ended up making out with her.

Nice dynamic you got going on. Do you see any contradiction between the blue and red statements? So, she's the prize, right? And you're unsure of your self-worth, right?

The next day I decided to test her interest level and it was there. I successfully got her to drive an hour to my house to take my car to an amusement park with me.

Make outs...amusement parks... You're 23. You can't **** a girl at an amusement park. I'd drive an hour for you to take me to an amusement park, too.

I still keep gaming her,

Why?

and she invites me to the gym with her. I only have about 30 minutes and Im in jeans and a dress shirt so I just talk with her for a bit, but I still manage to make out with her in the parking lot. Again I test her interest level.......5 minutes later after I see her she blows up my phone. I had successfully sparked her interest again just by seeing her.

Hmmm, never had a girl I hadn't already slept with try to turn me into her gym buddy. Why would you go--are 30 minutes of her time so valuable and yours so cheap?

Anyways we keep talking after that but before i could even plan the next date we get into it over a few things.

Never argue with a girl you're not ****ing. Screams over-investment.

After I told her that she responds....I ignore her. The next day she decides she doesn't wanna talk to me. I think I hurt her feelings, she has told me before that she "doesn't feel pretty anymore" so what you think fellas? I think what I said really hit her hard because it was a nice dose of reality.

Male hamster in bold. I think that she could give a rat's ass. You're not a good orbiter (you expect too much). And you're not the bad boy who makes sex happen because...you don't. So you add value to her life...how, exactly?

To answer your last question yes bro I do, because I know the game I had with her would of worked with the most difficult of women in her age range and of her caliber.

No.

How many legit 9/10's out there wont sleep with a guy because he has too many bad boy type tendencies? That's almost unheard of.... that's why I am truly puzzled.

Bad boy tendencies? Make outs, amusement parks, dinner reservations, visiting her at the gym when it wasn't on your agenda....

Women that hot usually don't fear the pump and dump in my experience.

You never tried to **** her.

I also honestly feel that had I lived closer things would of turned out differently, she expressed to me before even going on a date with me that distance makes it difficult to get close to a person, but that she would be "open minded" to it. So part of me knew it was gonna be tough...

Stop rationalizing. This whole post reeks of cognitive dissonance. But back to your initial problem:

I am 23, dealing with a highly entitled, extremely desirable chick in her late 20's that is difficult for me to diagnose.

Chick seems pretty normal to me. But it's probably time for self-reflection.

 

[captain55]

WTF did you talk about? You left out the most important part of your story.



You cannot lay down the law with a new woman that you're dating. She needs to be significantly emotionally invested in you before you can do that. Her IL may have been high, but she wasn't invested emotionally.

This one's done. It's time to move on.

After I ran into her at the gym on a wedenesday and we made out in the parking lot, after I had successfully regained her interest and she was blowing up my phone....she hits me with "why do you ignore me". I didn't ignore her i just didn't text her unless she texted me, and she didn't like that. We got in a conversation about something involving something one of her coworkers did to her, I gave her some advice on how to handle the situation. (not that I really cared I just wanted to sound like I wasnt completely ignoring her)

She took it the wrong way as "you were telling me me what to do and Im not about that". All the traits about me other women equal to her hotness found attractive in me (offering advice, being aggressive and getting physical quickly, being aloof) seemed to turn her off. She said she just wants a "nice guy" and I have too many bad boy tendencies lol

 

[captain55]

Pick one.



Pick one.



See ego investment. See manipulation.



Nice dynamic you got going on. Do you see any contradiction between the blue and red statements? So, she's the prize, right? And you're unsure of your self-worth, right?



Make outs...amusement parks... You're 23. You can't **** a girl at an amusement park. I'd drive an hour for you to take me to an amusement park, too.



Why?



Hmmm, never had a girl I hadn't already slept with try to turn me into her gym buddy. Why would you go--are 30 minutes of her time so valuable and yours so cheap?



Never argue with a girl you're not ****ing. Screams over-investment.



Male hamster in bold. I think that she could give a rat's ass. You're not a good orbiter (you expect too much). And you're not the bad boy who makes sex happen because...you don't. So you add value to her life...how, exactly?



No.



Bad boy tendencies? Make outs, amusement parks, dinner reservations, visiting her at the gym when it wasn't on your agenda....



You never tried to **** her.



Stop rationalizing. This whole post reeks of cognitive dissonance. But back to your initial problem:



Chick seems pretty normal to me. But it's probably time for self-reflection.

I did push for sex. Invited her over to my house a couple of times. She doesn't hookup with guys she told me this before she went out. She said "Im not going to hook up with a guy just because he's hot and Im horny thats what toys are for" She doesn't drink either which made it even more difficult for me. I tried to get sexual with her as well, shed only let me make out with her....I told her in great detail what I would do to her over the phone and she never took offense to it either. She also admitted to me that it turned her off that I was grabbing her ass and all over her "so soon". then again the day after she said that we were standing in line at this restaurant and she was all over me making out and stuff.

 

[captain55]

Honestly, guy: as soon as you said you saw her the next day, I knew this thing wasn't going to last...

Didn't see the big deal considering she was the one who drove an hour to my house? Not like it was a Friday night either, I asked her last minute on a Sunday afternoon

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Didn't see the big deal considering she was the one who drove an hour to my house? Not like it was a Friday night either, I asked her last minute on a Sunday afternoon

Right - and that's the point: you didn't see the big deal, which is why it was the beginning of her losing interest in you.

It's small mistakes like this guys make that they don't realize contributes to a girl's dwindling feelings for you. It doesn't matter if she agreed to see you or not (since girls are typically agreeable and don't want to make a guy feel bad by rejecting his offer), nor does it matter if she thought it may be a good idea (because women don't consciously think about the things a guy may suggest that will negatively influence her feelings for him).

The mistake most guys make - which I've seen time and time again on these boards, as well as in my previously bad dating life and the dating lives of others around me - is that when you try to spend too much time with a woman in the beginning, there's a high probability she's either going to get tired of you a lot sooner OR you're going to make some kind of mistake that annoys her, both of which result in her not wanting to see you anymore.

Had you taken her out the first day, and then waited a few days before calling her up for another date, you would have given her a few days' time to reminisce about the date and develop stronger feelings for you, as well as a stronger desire for her to want to see you again.

And this is just the first mistake in a line of mistakes you made - from taking her on a second date that lasted WAAAAY too long... to having her meet your parents (I know what you're going to say - and the answer is, "I know you live with your parents, but you shouldn't have created a situation where she could meet them this early on")... to getting into some kind of fight with her before even having a 3rd date... to agreeing to a last-minute gym meet up...

All of these things caused her to ultimately LOSE interest in you. And I've seen it happen time and time again, because guys don't have a set-up game plan for how to date women in a way that gets them into relationships.

If you want help to learn what things you should or should not be doing when dating, go HERE. In the meantime: for any future girls you meet, do NOT stack dates so close to each other - this one tip alone will get you more second and third dates with women, and will keep them interested a LOT longer.