"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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I need expert advice

White_Rabbit

Don Juan
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I need some serious advice here, please unless you have actually been in a serious relationship with somone who actually likes you... dont respond.
I just need some quick advice on how to approach this, My girl is fukin FLAMIN mad at me ... lol very mad, she really likes me alot I know that for a fact but, she keeps flaking on me I'm trying to be patient but I think i'm losing her she was willing to talk and call me to hang out but all of a sudden she stoped callin me back lol... I need to apologize like NOW, but she wont meet me, I got a dozen roses and a little stuffed bear so i could appologize in person but ... she is making things very difficult. whatdya think? I could leave the roses and bear on her car seat... or I could try to talk her into meeting me ... yeah call it oneitis or whatever... some girls are just worth the trouble...
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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uzio

Don Juan
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Yes. And buy her diamonds, and then cut your balls off and give her as earrings.

Geez - why do boys think that awarding someone for being mad will make things better?

If you had a quarrel then you need to talk about it, resolve the issue and continue. Buying her stuff will solve nothing. Except maybe making you smaller in her eyes.
 

thederekeffect1

Master Don Juan
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Do you even know what you did or are you just assuming that you did something? And as a result you decided the best way to fix this is to shower her with gifts and tell her you're sorry - despite the fact that you have no idea what you did. Anyway, I don't think anyone here can help you if you don't tell us what the exact problem is (if there is one) and/or why she's mad at you.

Another thing, don't automatically assume that showering her with gifts will make everything better. There's a time and a place for gifts, and this isn't one of those times or places. Gifts are meant to reward - They're not a cure for relationships.
 

White_Rabbit

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Well its a long long story id rather not get into it... I just figured you guys might know a good way to smooth things over... the roses and teddy bear arnt a reward... they are an apology because she deserves one. It probably wont work out but I mean to try anyway she is a really great girl imo dosnt want me to pay for things at all never asks me for a damn thing... cleans up after me... does almost anything I ask. She deserves flowers ...
but just to give u a slight idea why she is mad, I had a bad month, I got kicked outa college, had to move back with my parents, met one girl... saw her for a while, she decided to move to washington and sleep with my best friend before she left... then I met this other girl the one i'm talking about, shortly after I got fired from my bank job for false sexual harrasment charges... and I went on a 5 week drinking binge... and I'm not a good drunk... i'm an ******* when i'm drinking thats why i dont drink... so yeah I was really **** to her for a while, but I'm not drinking anymore and I got a great job in manufacturing robotics so i'm doing well again and I'm hoping this girl will remember that I'm still the same guy she really really liked before I got hammered for a month straight.
 

uzio

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There are three mistakes you do:

1. You assume guilt. Dunno 'bout you, but after what has happened to you the chick you are seeing should:

a) support you when you were at lows
b) be darn impressed, that you manged to get straight once again so fast

2) You assume yourself to be of lower quality then the chick you are seeing. Come on - "I hope she sees how great guy I am" ? Make sure to supplicate more and kiss her ass more often.

It is her who should be hoping that you "forgot" her *****yness.

Get her out of the pedestal

3) Assume that a gift can fix things.

Answer yourself - if your friend called your mother "slutty ****" and then tried to apologize by giving you a Ferrari - would you consider this an apology?

Besides - giving the chick a gift in this situation creates a precedent. She will know that she can guilt trip you into buying her stuff.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Wyldfire

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Okay...based on what you posted...to everyone reading this they are going to assume that this girl isn't your girlfriend and you've never even kissed her or had sex with her. They will assume that you are pretending to be her friend when you really want more. They will assume that you are being so pushy and needy and desperate trying to make her like you that you're bordering on being a stalker.

So...if everyone's perception is right...leave her alone...you are acting like a stalker.

If everyone's perception is wrong and this is your girlfriend and you have had sex with her and did something stupid and need advice, here is what you need to do...

1) State specifically the nature and length of your relationship with her. How long have you been having sex with her?

2) What exactly did you do that has pissed her off so badly?

3) Describe her reaction to what you did and what each of you have said and done to each other since you pissed her off.

If this is an actual romantic relationship and you give more information, if there is any way to salvage the situation I'll attempt to help you resolve your mess. However, if this is just some girl you have a crush on and she's not into you, please don't waste my time and energy.
 
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