I need a smidgen of guidance

[Swashbuckler]

I recently just got out of a 3 month long relationship, and I'm 100% over the girl; she just got into a relationship or so I saw on facebook, which pissed me off for about 3 mins or so. Then I went and played tennis, and that was the last thought I had on that.

Anyways, there is this girl in my class at my university who has been crazy flirting with me, and I reciprocate. Every girl in that class heavily flirts with me in class and most the time a girl will take her seat, and then when the girl I like enters she'll be confused and forced to sit somewhere else.

Last Monday, she told the girl in the seat that "[She] and I are the best partners in the world," and the girl who sat next to me surprisingly said to the girl I like, "You have to share the awesomeness." I acted oblivious to this because I had no clue how to respond. I was chit chatting with this girl on my right who showing me her iPhone or something. I was busy eavesdropping on the girls on my left.

I saw the girl that I like on Thursday while she was sitting out by a hall. We said hello when we were in earshot, and then I walked over to her to maybe do some small chat, but I quickly realized like all prior times before the girl doesn't let me leave. I'll be like "So..." and she'll talk about what soda I'm drinking, and anyways she had my number before probably about 2 weeks ago when she asked for it. She never called me, so I didn't' have hers. She then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to go study with her for our class after she gets out of class. I agreed, and then she gave me a call a couple hours later.

Oh, FYI, I didn't sleep the night before, so I was utterly exhausted, but I tried to not come across as it.

I met her at the library, and she told me that another girl from our class would be there, but she ended up not showing, so it was just her and I in this closed off room, but the girl was so defensive. Like she wouldn't let me in.. I'm trying to phrase this best.

So I figured, mine as well have fun. She was so focused on the classwork that I started going proposing funny questions and all the time distancing the classwork, and I'm a really funny guy so that worked like a charm. By the time we finished, we talked for like 30 minutes or so afterwards. She said she had to go to a Birthday party in 2 hours, and she said she was freaking hungry, so I asked her if she wanted to go grab something light, and so we went to Moes' for 45 mins or so munching on chips and Queso. She and I had an absolute blast. She literally was in tears laughing so hard a couple times.

Then I dropped her at her car, and Friday we were split up to work in multiple groups, and she mouthed words at me the whole class. Afterwords, I asked her if she wanted to go grab some lunch, and she said yes, but her Aunt was in town and she has to go eat with her but she couldn't reach her right away. She wanted to go to a place on campus, and her aunt called her a minute or two after we got there, and she had to leave so she stayed and talked for 15 minutes.

Okay, so here is where I need some guidance. I haven't asked her out on a date, but I want to get another primary date in before. Should I ask her "to study" for this test coming up on Friday, or should I just be blunt and be like "I'm going to get some dinner want to come?" tomorrow.

I know she likes me, and I think everyone who reads this will agree. I'm just trying to figure out what I should do tomorrow. Ask her to study or ask her to basically go out, and she might act weird to that because we've only met because of school, but it may help facilitate a relationship.

 

[eaglez1177]

Well you already asked if she wanted to get some lunch with you, so technically you have asked her out on a date. Just be yourself, say what comes to your mind. Whether studying or having lunch, im sure you'll both have fun either way. If I was you, I wouldnt even be asking her to study with me because then that would lessen the chances of me hooking up with her (as in she would actually want to study rather than have some fun hooking up with me).

 

[Swashbuckler]

Well you already asked if she wanted to get some lunch with you, so technically you have asked her out on a date. Just be yourself, say what comes to your mind. Whether studying or having lunch, im sure you'll both have fun either way. If I was you, I wouldnt even be asking her to study with me because then that would lessen the chances of me hooking up with her (as in she would actually want to study rather than have some fun hooking up with me).

Yea, I agree, and if I ask her to study that sounds like a road down to friendzone as well, and I want to figure out this week if she's someone I'm going to date or a friend.

If I ask her to get some dinner, it might throw here off, which is something I could possibly capitalize on. I'm just weary because I'm not 100% certain she doesn't have a boyfriend. She mentioned one on the first day of class, and ever since she has been mum. Today, I fished a little bit because she said she went to Circus du Soliel with her boyfriend on the first day, and I wanted to see if she would mention her boyfriend again, and I said like "did you like it?" hopefully a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend drop would reveal itself, but unfortunately it did not.

I'm leaning to think that she doesn't have one or because she's throwing a ton of IOI's at me. She has asked me long-term things that caught me off guard, cause only someone interested would be so interested.

She has asked me if I'm going to pursue the class after this semester, go for a minor. I said I was "Fairly sure I would," and she agreed. I then told her I applied for a teaching assistantship in france, and she said she was going to apply until I told her the deadline was January 15th, and she was like "Aww."

I probably should just ask her to dinner tomorrow. Send her a text at like 3:40 right before she gets out of class, and say like "Do you want to grab something to eat at 4:30?"

Does that sound good?

 

[nicelife]

ask her the day before so she doesnt make other plans

 

[Swashbuckler]

ask her the day before so she doesnt make other plans

The next day we have class together. I was hoping I could do something with her tomorrow because we did something last Thursday.

I can't seem feel comfortable in the class. I sit right next to her, and we talk all class, but I have to hold back because women are constantly flirting with me in the class. There about 5-7 women in that class who will flirt heavily with me, but I really only want this girl from that bunch, and I tried to make that clear last Thursday when we met to do some classwork because she gets really jealous when I'm talking to other women.

I was just hoping tomorrow I could get her out of class and just start progressing with her. I just don't know if I should ask her to study or to get something to eat. I just want to start branching our relationship outside of class.

 

[stubbornlights]

If you really must, ask her to study, but when you do so, make sure there's a playful subtext that communicates, "I'll be amazed if we actually get any studying done." If you establish a kind of playful, non-studious mood, then it will be so much easier for you to make a move.

Think about it from the girl's perspective: how lame is it for a guy to ask her to 'study', just as a way to get her alone, under the pretense of an innocent meeting, only to then try to manipulate the moment into something romantic? Ugh. So indirect, so obvious, so lacking in intent and confidence.

Make your intentions clear. You don't have to say them, in fact I'd say you shouldn't say them, but communicate them with your tone, your touch, your eye contact. You're a man, you want her, make sure she knows it.

And about "asking her to dinner": don't ask. Assume that she'll go with you. Just say, "Hey, I'm hungry, let's go for food. I'll pick you up at five."
Fortune favors the bold.

I don't think I even ask girls to do anything anymore. I make my own plans fully expecting that they'll follow along.

 

[I-tallionStallion]

Just ask her to hang out. Why dinner dude? Stop thinking so much. She likes you, relax,

Why the hell don't you have her number? You should have gotten hers at the same time or had her call you in front of you so you could add her to your contacts.

If I were you, I'd ask her to grab lunch or something and after that hop in my car and start talking and then just makeout with her. It's not all that hard when a girl likes you and gives you all the signs I saw above.

You should have already kissed her...what the heck are you waiting for?

She may have plans so she might not hangout. Set up a time as soon as possible to hangout a given day of the week. Do something fun and skip the studying idea. That's just a lame idea anyways. Unless she suggests that she really wants to. And work it from there.

 

[Swashbuckler]

Stallion- I have her number when she gave me a call to go study last Thursday.

Yea, I agree with that. She'll probably see through the studying thing.

I'm trying not to over think this, but it's hard not to because this is the turning point kind of moment. It's fairly critical because it means we are either friends or something more, and I care about this girl. She's fun to hang out with.

If I ask her to do that homework for tomorrow's class, I'm almost certain she'll agree unless she has a prior engagement. If I ask her to hang out, it might be awkward because she'll probably think "Why? He must be into me"

And I really want her to still try to earn my interest, but if we're working on that homework we can flirt, we are working to an obvious goal, and I can easily move it to dinner. Then after today, I could ask her to hang out.

I think I'll send her a text while she's in class this afternoon that's like, "I'm about to do my [class] homework. You game?"

I'm having a hard time making the text playful.

 

[Swashbuckler]

I asked her if she wanted to study today because I copped out, but she agreed. I wanted her to come over to my apartment, but she sent me a text saying she was already in library and if I wanted we could work on the homework. I realized the flaw in asking her to study very quickly...

I headed over there, and she was sitting at a table with a female friend, and I sat down. I mingled with the friend, but for some reason the had a hard time keeping eye contact with me, and every time she spoke it was always to the girl I like... every once and awhile she would glance my way...

I figured she was ... nervous around me maybe a little shy because I kept trying to open her up to talk and she would respond positively but go back to avoiding eye contact with me ... fairly weird.

But the girl I like kept cutting her out, when we started she said to her friend, "Alright, no more talking [name], we have to finish our homework," and she never even noticed her friend even when her friend would say something or gesture. I always would look over and sometimes smile or say something but not her.

I felt kind of bad because she was so excluded.

However, the girl I like and I had a great time. We laughed basically the entirety of the time. I noticed mid way through she started resting both her feet on my chair, pointing her body directly at me, and we had a good time even with studying.

When we finished, she said "don't go yet," and we talked for a 10 more minutes or so. Then she packed up an left with me. I wanted to take her out to dinner, and so I asked "Where are you oft to now?" and she said she had a econ test to study for, and it was 1 of 2 so it was really important. I didn't pursue that anymore.

Tomorrow, I want to some how ask her out to do something at night, not necessarily the weekend. I just want to get to be familiar with her so I don't need this stupid studying excuse.

Right now, I'm thinking tomorrow I'm just going to be blunt as hell and say as we walk after class "Say, I have to go to this budget meeting, but what are you doing tonight?" She'll either be busy or not and I know what to say if she's busy, but say something like "Let me take you out to dinner tonight, do you want to go to [Restaurant name 1] or [Restaurant name 2]?

 

[JJMcLure]

She likes you. Make a definitive move sooner rather than later before things fizzle out, or she decides you'll never make the move. You're spending a good amount of time together talking so don't risk becoming overfamiliar without having transitioned and made a move beyond the platonic.

It would be good to get over this obsession with taking her to dinner though - it's such a formal date. You already had her one-on-one for meals before, there's no need to insist "you will take her and pay for her dinner" - it seems like you want to do that just to make intent clear (that's not necessary, use ACTIONS NOT WORDS - see below). Maybe there's some other action date or activity you can think of in the evening. Or maybe you can roll on to do something else after grabbing a bite like you did before. Get over the idea she might think it's "weird" for you to suggest doing something outside school!

All you need is to kino escalate at one of these occassions and finally go in for a kiss on the lips. Read up on kino if you're not familiar.

 

[I-tallionStallion]

Yeah dude...i told you. Now get her to hang out with you and make a move dammit! Stop it with these "what are you doing tomorrow night or tonight" and just ask her when she's free this week. You make things so complicated.

Wait too long, and a guy like me will show up and she'll forget about you.

Next post I want to see you hanging out with her with no studying involved. You are sending her the wrong message and will be put into the friendzone.