"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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I need a hot date, fast

thirdtimescharm

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I've got an extra ticket to a very expensive and exclusive party next week. It's a once in a lifetime thing. I don't want to take any of my current plates, since this will breed all kinds of expectations. Rather, I'd like to find some hot, sexy, stranger who just wants to have fun. But I only have a couple of days. Any thoughts on how to land the fun girl who will make this a night to remember?
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Jitterbug

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This is what high-end escorts are for.
 

thirdtimescharm

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Yes, I could pay, but I've never paid and I don't want to start now. A friend told me she heard of some site that apparently provides this type of escort; if the event is special enough, you don't have to pay a fee. Anyone ever hear of this?
 

Jitterbug

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You don't have to pay if the event is that special and exclusive.

Down here it's legal so it's pretty straightforward. Don't know about your area though.

Failing that, if you're on some social networking site, just spam a few hot girls. You'll easily get a few yes.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Satin

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I don't usually advise this, but a stripper who looks like she won't embarrass you (I know, easier said than done) might be good for a fun night.
 

thirdtimescharm

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Desdinova said:
This is why you should keep a nice selection of women in your life. If you keep enough, you'll always have someone to fill in little spots like this.
I have a selection of women. This is such an exclusive event that I think any of the women I know (except ones that are just -friends-) will look at this as a sign of something more. And I don't want to ramp up those expectations.
 

Lexington

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If this is going to raise expectations for your plates, wouldn't it also raise expectations for any hot stranger you take? If it's purely about having fun at an exclusive party, you should just take one of your best buds. Bros before hoes.
 

thirdtimescharm

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Lexington said:
If this is going to raise expectations for your plates, wouldn't it also raise expectations for any hot stranger you take? If it's purely about having fun at an exclusive party, you should just take one of your best buds. Bros before hoes.
Tempting, but it's a "work" related party and I just started the job last week. So I have no intention of trying to collect any phone numbers, and the bros that I might take are either a) involved or b) not appropriate for reasons I won't go in to. I need to keep my presence professional, but fun. As far as the potential stranger goes, hopefully things go well and expectations are exceeded.

I've gone the social networking route and went on a dating site...have a bunch of possibilities now, and still have one female -friend- that I know I would have a good time with, regardless.
 

Mr.Positive

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thirdtimescharm said:
Tempting, but it's a "work" related party and I just started the job last week. So I have no intention of trying to collect any phone numbers, and the bros that I might take are either a) involved or b) not appropriate for reasons I won't go in to. I need to keep my presence professional, but fun. As far as the potential stranger goes, hopefully things go well and expectations are exceeded.

I've gone the social networking route and went on a dating site...have a bunch of possibilities now, and still have one female -friend- that I know I would have a good time with, regardless.
Third, if I were you, I'd take your female friend that you know you would have a good time with.

Remember, this is a "work" related party. The last thing you need is some strange woman getting drunk and embarrassing you in front of your coworkers. Taking a stranger could easily backfire on you, and leave you the talk of the workplace.

I would take the friend, since you most likely know there won't be any expectations from her, just to have fun.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Satin

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Agree. I didn't realize it was a work function. Bring a cool girl that you already know who won't embarrass you and that you'll have a good time with.
 

Jeffst1980

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Get the idea that you need a hot woman to "impress" people out of your head. Seriously; that kind of try-hard thinking is counterproductive.

Bring a girl that can socialize well and that you enjoy being around. If you bring a hot chick that's a stranger, it's going to be pretty obvious to everyone that you were just trying to show off- to them AND to her.

A guy that tries to impress people NEVER comes off as "cool." Bragging and qualifying yourself only works if you're a gangsta rapper, and the guys that are into the idea of "arm candy" are usually just wealthy AFCs. Have sex with hot woman because you WANT to- not because you want to look cool in front of your male colleagues!!
 

scrouds

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Jeffst1980 said:
Get the idea that you need a hot woman to "impress" people out of your head. Seriously; that kind of try-hard thinking is counterproductive.

Bring a girl that can socialize well and that you enjoy being around. If you bring a hot chick that's a stranger, it's going to be pretty obvious to everyone that you were just trying to show off- to them AND to her.

A guy that tries to impress people NEVER comes off as "cool." Bragging and qualifying yourself only works if you're a gangsta rapper, and the guys that are into the idea of "arm candy" are usually just wealthy AFCs. Have sex with hot woman because you WANT to- not because you want to look cool in front of your male colleagues!!
Makes good sense, but you can hurt yourself if you bring a girl that's lower then you. Best advice would be to take the hottest plate he has that's good at socializing. If none are acceptable, bring a friend or if appropiate, go stag.
 

thirdtimescharm

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scrouds said:
Why do you need a hot date? Prove status at the new job?

No, status was not the point. I just wanted to be with a woman who I found extremely attractive. Not in the convention sense, but in my personal sense, of dating "my type." And as it turns out, the girl who I found was exactly that. We had a great time at the party, then went out for dinner and drinks after. Yes, it was all kind of conventional, and I truly wanted nothing more than to take her home and rip the sexy outfit she had on off her body. But I held back, even though she gave me some very subtle hints that it might have been possible. She's going away for two weeks on Friday, so the next attempt will have to wait.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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thirdtimescharm

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Jeffst1980 said:
Get the idea that you need a hot woman to "impress" people out of your head. Seriously; that kind of try-hard thinking is counterproductive.

Bring a girl that can socialize well and that you enjoy being around. If you bring a hot chick that's a stranger, it's going to be pretty obvious to everyone that you were just trying to show off- to them AND to her.

A guy that tries to impress people NEVER comes off as "cool." Bragging and qualifying yourself only works if you're a gangsta rapper, and the guys that are into the idea of "arm candy" are usually just wealthy AFCs. Have sex with hot woman because you WANT to- not because you want to look cool in front of your male colleagues!!

The function was actually a concert/party with over 2000 people in attendance. I didn't even see anyone from work who knew me well enough to care, which was totally fine.

I wasn't worried about impressing anyone; I just wanted to push myself by being with a woman who impressed me. And in the final analysis, I got exactly what I wanted.
 

thirdtimescharm

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scrouds said:
Sounds like prostitution without the happy ending.
:)

There are times when I'm willing to sacrifice short term rewards for longer term goals.
 

scrouds

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Well now you got me curious. This chick, she fresh off the street? Been on a few dates? trying to make her a regular thing? I'm curious what the plan is here.
 

thirdtimescharm

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Pretty fresh. We met Sunday evening and played a set of tennis. She was a college player, and that's a huge bonus for me since tennis is my biggest athletic passion. I beat her 6-3. Very competitive.

So yes, I definitely want to keep things going. In th meantime, I got a message via facebook from someone I met at a party last week who wants to play tennis this weekend, and I'm meeting another woman tonight via another avenue of approach.

I'm gonna freely admit that the one from last night has the potential to make me act all AFC and I'm glad she's going to be away for two weeks so I can get some perspective. The other potential plates won't hurt ;-)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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