"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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I need a critique and advice on my POF profile.

Deicide

Senior Don Juan
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I've had limited success with this site. Half the them women message me back, and I've one date... a bad one, from this site. I do get a lot of women who view my profile. I think I'm going to reboot my profile and take some time off from POF. What is good and bad about the profile, and what changes should I consider?
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=36553800
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Iceberg

Master Don Juan
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Deicide said:
I've had limited success with this site. Half the them women message me back, and I've one date... a bad one, from this site. I do get a lot of women who view my profile. I think I'm going to reboot my profile and take some time off from POF. What is good and bad about the profile, and what changes should I consider?
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=36553800
I don't think there's anything ridiculously wrong with your profile. On the flip side, there's nothing particularly memorable about it either.

I've gotten a fair amount of women from online dating, and I find that most of them find something from my profile to ask me about. The trick seems to be - you want to lower the branch for them. Give them a conversation-starter.

My profile mentions a few interesting things about myself:
I'm a writer (professionally, not just hobby)
I like whiskey
I listen to (and play) the blues
I'm semi-well traveled

And this is the stuff girls write to me about. They probably picture me as some troubled, bearded, whiskey-obsessed traveler. And they're not too far off.

If your profile has a problem, I'd say that you're too one-size-fits-all. You like sports. You like art. You're easygoing. You like women who are easygoing...but it's okay if they're not, because you like the opposite too.

Everyone likes sports, art, and considers themselves "easygoing."

Find some way to get into specifics. Instead of "sports", talk about your love of alligator wrestling...or whatever the hell you're into. Know what I mean?

I have an unfair advantage because I'm a writer. So I know how to paint pictures with words. But even if you're not a writer, I think you can be a little more specific about yourself.
 

evan12

Master Don Juan
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your profile picture not reflect a strong man , try to take a photos with more alpha male gestures
 

omega05

Master Don Juan
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Jul 18, 2009
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I feel your profile is too wordy and your pic makes you look a little goofy. Where is this lifting weights body?
 

GhengisT

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 1, 2012
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SoCal
1. Profile pic has to go - it's a half@$$ smile, and looks like you're pinching a poo you've been holding for a couple hours.

2. Username might be disclosing too much about yourself (i.e. this is what the 'interests' section is for. Get rid of your birth year from the equation.

3. You're not looking for a relationship. Casual dating (because you want the girl to initiate the relationship when she realizes how fun you are!)

4. Change your headline. "Seeing what online dating is about" is very mundane. It's the first thing she reads, and implies that you don't know what you want (alphas know what they want hint hint).

5. You "drink socially". The initial meet & greet via a drink is the BEST way to get acquainted.

6. You're a teacher by profession, not a DJ/Teacher. I say this because you have to have a balance of provider & romeo. DJ is a great romeo, but these girls want to qualify you as provider initially.

7. Change how you feel about children. 9 times of 10, a woman will want children in the future.

8. Your longest relationship was longer. BS this one if you have to. If you can't keep a girl longer than a year, it's like keeping a job in woman's eyes.

9. The About Me section is WAAAAAAYY too long. Just the initial sentences wreak of desperation. You are strong. You are confident. You're balancing jerk & nice guy. Don't go into too much detail either. You want them to be curious about you, but you're showing them all of your cards before they even message you. Brag about you achievements, how much you love your job, helping needy kids or w/e. Talk about how family is so important. Try to keep it no longer than 1-2 paragraphs.

10. Your first date is always a surprise. See my profile for good example.


For your profile pics, put at least one body shot up, so they have an idea of what they're working with. I started getting msgs almost daily when I did this.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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SqueezieToy

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For your profile picture, sit up straight, be facing just a tad to one side or the other and be laughing, don't look directly at the camera, as if it was a random shot, not a portrait.
Say that you drink socially, and that you want children someday.
Rewrite your 'about me section' making it shorter. Listing your activities is really good. Then in the 'first date' section, suggest going to do one of those activities~ every time I've dated online I chose someone who liked back-packing like I do, and then set up a hike. My reasoning is that even if the guy is not someone I want to date, at least I had a great time doing something that we both enjoy and would do anyway. In the last paragraph of your 'about me' section, simply state that you are a people person and enjoy lots of personality types.
I really believe that joining a group that is already doing activities that you enjoy will afford you more opportunities to meet real people than an online dating site.
 
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