"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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I must be easily amused, red pill aftertaste and serial monogamy

MOTU

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Fair warning: this post will likely ramble, and may not have clear point. I just feel the "urge to purge" a little bit...

Short backstory: I got divorced for the second time about 18 months ago. First 6mos I didn't date at all. Got back in the game at the beginning of this year. Been steadily improving myself - mostly weight loss, new hobby related activities, studying game (read books like rational male, art of seduction, 48 laws (again), no more mr nice guy, the game, maximum influence, the moral animal, etc). Overall I am pretty happy with my life.

I have banged 9 different chicks this year, progressively hotter as I lost weight and looked better and have better skills. At one point had 3 chicks I was fvcking in rotation.

Now I am down to one, by my choice. We'll call her blondie. I guess you could say she's my sort of girlfriend, though that's never been formalized. But one day, she did say to me "I am not asking if you are or not, but I just want you to know, that if you are sleeping with someone else, that wouldn't be ok with me" to which I replied "I can understand that". Well, fact was, I had banged another chick two nights before and didn't really enjoy it all that much and had decided not to put any energy into the other chicks for a while.

And on that topic - spinning plates was fun for me at first but got tiresome. I travel a lot for work and I have a good group of guy friends that I hang with, and all the dating was just killing me. I did the three dates in three days thing a couple of weekends and it just left me tired. It feels good to know that if I want to date and go out and get laid then it's just not that hard to do. But it sure can be time consuming - and expensive. I had wins from day game, bar game, online and social circle. I proved to myself that I AM THE PRIZE. So now I don't feel the urge to climb anymore mountains. So maybe serial monogamy is the ticket for me. I don't think I'll ever marry again, but I like the steady supply of pvssy, affection and companionship that having a woman in my life brings. It's comforting.

Back to blondie - I like her alot. We have been dating about three months now. For the first two months or so I was seeing other chicks too, but as mentioned above, I have curtailed that. She is hot, funny, adventurous, self sufficient (MBA and a good job) and sexy as hell. She fvcks like a porn star too. Oh, yea, one thing I should mention - she has a 5yo and a 6yo. My youngest just moved off to college. WTF am I thinking? Well, at this point, she hasn't given any inclination that she wants or expects me to have a role in her kids lives. I have only seen them a couple of times, and we don't do "family" things together. So as long as I keep my boundaries, and don't become overly attached to her or her kids, I am happy with the situation.

We've settled into a routine like this - she comes over one weekend night and spends the night at my house. I always pick what we're going to do (stay in and BBQ, go out dancing, whatever). We drink and fvck. Actaully we have done some cool dates - Salsa lessons, sailing lessons, hiking. Then, if I am in town, I generally see her one more time during the week. Usually that's just a booty call. Ex: I texted her about 3:30pm (her office closes at 4pm) "I am horny" and she said "I'll come fix that as soon as I can get out of here" and came over and banged me good before she got her kids from daycare.

This is about perfect for me - I like having the freedom to do whatever I want on the other weekend days and not having any clingy b!tch asking "what are you doing?" or over-staying their welcome (make breakfast and go!).

So does that make me easily amused? It kind of surprises me how easy it was for me to find someone that I am really attracted too and comfortable with. I have been trying to analyze and understand what she gives me (psychologically and emotionally) that I like so much, but I am not sure I have my head around it.

But (I think) I am in reality. At some point, this probably isn't going to be enough for her. Or maybe even for me, for that matter. But for now, I enjoy our time together and I am getting what I want out of the relationship, so why over think it?

Then there's the aftertaste of that red pill. I know that part of why she is attracted to me is because I display the alpha traits that make her horny but also seem to be able to provide the security and provisioning she craves for herself and her children. So if I don't ever actually provide those resources, that's likely to become a problem. The kids father is not active in their lives, and while she has been very careful, on a conscious level, to not give off any "I need a new baby daddy" signals, sub-consciously I know she can't avoid those feelings. And I am NOT raising kids again. Been there done that.

To summarize: I have improved my looks and game a lot and it has helped. Tired of spinning plates. Have a sort of GF that I really like to spend time with but has structural impediments to being a real long term thing. I am getting what I want out of relationship but am aware it's fragile. Overall I am happy at the moment, I hope I am not playing with fire.

I would appreciate any thoughts on any of these musings.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Augustus_McCrae

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Enjoy it while it lasts is all I can say.

My girlfriend seemed to have the same attitude initially as yours.

Unfortunately, it will change....

Keep a plate or two in reserve.

Good luck

-Augustus-
 

BetterCallSaul

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MOTU said:
Oh, yea, one thing I should mention - she has a 5yo and a 6yo. ............

And I am NOT raising kids again. Been there done that.
Sorta sounds to me like you already know where this is heading. Enjoy it while it lasts or you decide to change your mind, but I'm thinking you won't.
 

Greasy Pig

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Speaking from experience, the kids will become a factor if you stick around for maybe six months.
That's when you'll have to make a tough call. Until then, bang away to your heart's content.
I think mothers eventually feel like they can't be running off to fvck some dude like a young single slvt anymore and they need to provide stability for their kids.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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zekko

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MOTU said:
I know that part of why she is attracted to me is because I display the alpha traits that make her horny
Meh, I don't know. The whole alpha traits thing seems oversold to me. She's attracted to you because you have a d!ck. It's nature. Case closed.

But I prefer having a girlfriend to spinning plates also. It's like you get that part of your life handled, and that way you can turn your attention to more important things.
 

Kailex

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The clock is ticking.

Go read all the numerous threads about how single moms are awesome until they hit the threshold of expecting you to become the "new dad". All of a sudden the sex dies down, the scolding flares up, and the awesomeness fades.

As much as I agree with you on the "wear and tear" of spinning plates... I'd be EXTRA careful with a single mom. It's why I'd rather just avoid them unless they know specifically that all I want from them is sex.
 

MOTU

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Yea I know you guys are right that this is on borrowed time. I suspect that even if she tries to keep boundaries around the kid stuff that soon her feelings will change. And why shouldn't they? Her kids WOULD be better off if I chose to take a role in their life.

But I do respect her for making the effort she is making.

And I am keeping a couple of plates warm... Though if things between her and I ended today, I don't think it would make me want to start dating heavily again. I have a 5 day motorcycle ride, a weekend trip to Ohio and a weekend camping trip all coming up before thanksgiving... Hard to make time for b!tches ;)
 
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