I miss my ex after long time have passed and a bad breakup.

[Cyberspacerocker]

It started last year. We were at this Swedish festival (we're from Sweden) with a couple of friends, and we lived together in this tent. I noticed that she developed some sort of interest for me, and after the festival i did as well. So i started texting her.
She went to her country house after the festival and i went home to our city.
Well we texted, i worked, she were on her countryside, then she got back home and she wanted to get together. I thought COOL! she wanna meet me the first day she got home! And so we did.

The bad thing was that we just jumped right into this romantic love story right before getting to really know each other. But it went on well, i'm a patient person with great values in life and i felt we were soul mates. For a couple of months this went on.
My biggest issue in life is that my father has left me and my brother for this woman outside of town, which has made me suffer a lot in life. And i think i have been through a lot of denial because of this matter, you know the typical "Well i dont care! Screw him!" and you really do care because it hurts like hell.

So this work of evil got it's grasp on me when winter came, and i started feeling low and sad. And i got into this really boring period. My girl called me up, crying: "I dont think you are giving as much as i do". And i really didnt understand at the time. I was all confused, because you know, how could i do anything wrong? I tell you, this was my first relationship, i was discovering emotions that i never knew i could feel.
And the ending was really bad. We met after a gig, our mutual friends were playing in the same band as me back then. This was in late november.
She came up to me and said "Have you been thinking about what i said yesterday?"
I said "Yeah i have. And i dont know what to do." Because i didnt.
She is so kind, that if she had wanted to break up i dont think she would have said it.
It was the big mistake people do when they think they do their partners a "favor" and breaks up. It was really horrible!!! :'(
And there it all ended. She brought it up in a situation of pressure, i had a really horrible day and so on. And now she is out of my life. Because of one wrong turn i did.

And i ask myself "Why couldnt we have been coming along now instead of then when i felt like that?" I tell you, i have thought about it a lot, getting a new girl and so on.
But this girl i tell you, she really is different. She was my best friend and my girlfriend.
I have tried to contact her to tell her that im sorry, and she accepted my apology.
But i don't think she can trust me. We havent been talking. She tried talking to me shortly after we split but i just couldn't. She also bought me this christmas present which i couldnt take. I felt SO BAD! And now i am so full of regret and this weird dark feeling.

How do i win her trust back? I know we were a couple for a reason back then.
How can it ever be us again??
I have heard that she still thinks i am a good person.. at least. I have been so depressed that i havent been able to express my new self in a good way.

It would mean a lot to me if you could help me with anything!

 

[Radharc]

Well man, If she never wronged you, is still available, still interested, you´re also interested and think she´s a quality girl, it´s kind of a no-brainer.
You´re all hung up on having caused her grief and cant deal with the guilt? Though **** happens in relationships, you have no idea how small that "problem" is on the scale of things that can go wrong in a relationship.
Just go and meet her, spend some time with her, and see what you guys can work out. You were the one who broke up, that works on your favour. Stop worrying if she´s "hurt", she´ll survive trust me.
Learn from what went wrong and next time deal with it better. Take notice though, girls hate boring, and don´t count on her to stand by your side if you have depression issues. They´ll will accept that for a short while, but as soon as they see it in you they start looking for better prospects (even if they don´t know it imediatelly), it´s like a countdown timer starts for you to get your act together.

 

[Ease]

I may be wrong, but i think you are mistaken.

This girl dumped you. When a girl loses interest, a relationship turns bad.

My girl called me up, crying: "I dont think you are giving as much as i do"

That's a sign that your relaionship is turning bad.

"Have you been thinking about what i said yesterday?"

That's a sign that your girlfriend is going to leave you.


Girls dont need to trust a guy to love him. They especially love guys who they dont trust, dont be a fool. When a relationship turns bad^, your girlfriend doesnt seem right, or she isn't smiling and happy, it means your relationship is going to end. You can dump a girl and get the last word in, but unless you pull a super alpha move, she has fallen out of love with you and no longer cares.

Why did your girlfriend get bored of you? Because you probably acted like a girl.

 

[Cyberspacerocker]

Well man, If she never wronged you, is still available, still interested, you´re also interested and think she´s a quality girl, it´s kind of a no-brainer.
You´re all hung up on having caused her grief and cant deal with the guilt? Though **** happens in relationships, you have no idea how small that "problem" is on the scale of things that can go wrong in a relationship.
Just go and meet her, spend some time with her, and see what you guys can work out. You were the one who broke up, that works on your favour. Stop worrying if she´s "hurt", she´ll survive trust me.
Learn from what went wrong and next time deal with it better. Take notice though, girls hate boring, and don´t count on her to stand by your side if you have depression issues. They´ll will accept that for a short while, but as soon as they see it in you they start looking for better prospects (even if they don´t know it imediatelly), it´s like a countdown timer starts for you to get your act together.

I am not depressed anymore its not it, im just depressed about letting her down on so many levels at the time. My first step would be to sort it out, if she could give us some time, then i finally could explain what i do feel for her and what was behind those things that went wrong.

I have tried to apologise via telephone which went good.
I also have met her at a friends birthday party (well it wasnt a "crazy" party, more like chill n stuff) but things were stiff and we barely talked. I also met her at this festival last summer, but we barely met since we stayed in different camps and so on. Its always been this awkward feeling.. like there is something wrong.

I never get the chance to talk to her! Could it be because of the christmas present? Is that the point where i ****ed it all up for good?
Or is it because of the long time that has passed without communication?

Please i need your help.. there must be some kinda solution.

 

[Cyberspacerocker]

I may be wrong, but i think you are mistaken.

This girl dumped you. When a girl loses interest, a relationship turns bad.



That's a sign that your relaionship is turning bad.



That's a sign that your girlfriend is going to leave you.


Girls dont need to trust a guy to love him. They especially love guys who they dont trust, dont be a fool. When a relationship turns bad^, your girlfriend doesnt seem right, or she isn't smiling and happy, it means your relationship is going to end. You can dump a girl and get the last word in, but unless you pull a super alpha move, she has fallen out of love with you and no longer cares.

Why did your girlfriend get bored of you? Because you probably acted like a girl.

In retrospective, i have realised what an ass i was.
I wasnt ready to read those signals, that she got bored and out of love maybe. And she pushed me kind of hard with that phone call and the situation the day after, at the break-up.
I didnt get a second to think things over when she talked to me, i wasnt neither man or guarded enough to breathe slowly and think about her words and what i felt.

Right now i feel i just wanna become her friend again, no i'm not a whimp about it, i really mean it; i wanna be her friend. I wanna be reliable.

But it will take some explaining and sorting some things out.
Do you have any ideas, how i should do it?? It will take some caution i believe.